The Espada Friendship Reconstruction Program
by UNseated4TH
Summary: "Never fear!" Aizen's voice echoed throughout the train's PA system. "Where we're going, you won't NEED clothes!"   The Espada instantly dreaded what they'd gotten themselves into…
1. The Final Straw

**Kris: Heyy all! So I decided to start a new multi-chap focusing on Aizen and the Espada. I originally wasn't going to post this until the New Year, but there's been a shift in my thinking in regards to this years Christmas story. Sadly, I wont have time to write the entire thing before Christmas, so I'll just do a oneshot for it instead and use the ideas I intended for this year next year. As for this story, I have had the entire thing planned out and first chapter written for quite some time now. I am very excited to finally be sharing it. So here it is~**

* * *

**Chapter One: The Final Straw**

It was the little things that started it. The teasing in the hallways. The face pulling. The comments over Facebook.

It was the little things that grew. Teasing turned to blatant insulting. Face pulling turned to death-threats. Comments over Facebook turned to all-out cyber wars, but that wasn't all.

Aizen watched observantly from his throne, examining how his children interacted with one another. It was like watching a class of over-tired preschoolers without supervision. The arguments! The unnecessary name-calling! Aizen simply couldn't understand how a group of people could interact in such a ghastly manner. There had been several occasions in which he, Gin or Tousen had had to step in and break up fights, physical and verbal. It was infuriating! Admittedly, Aizen had to agree with a number of the Espada's conflicts, but why couldn't they just cast their differences aside and get along? Gin was no help within that field, in that he was often the one openly pointing out those differences and weaknesses, thus triggering the fights. And now, in amongst all the conflicts, bitchiness, nastiness, maltreatment and name-calling, Aizen was beginning to wonder what should be done.

Until there came the straw that finally broke the camel's back.

It was a (seemingly) peaceful afternoon in late May, around tea time, and Yammy was minding his own business, whistling and strolling around Las Noches at his own leisure. He was considering going and bugging Aizen for tea, and was too brainless to notice Aaroniero sneakily dash past him, and fasten a 'Bala Me' sign to his back. Yammy continued on down the hallway, still completely oblivious to the sign, until he crossed paths with Grimmjow, who happily complied with the sign's requirements.

Sure enough, this action caused Yammy to become full of rage and release his resureccion, rocketing his power from 10th to rank 0 in a matter of seconds.

Now as all good little Arrancar know, Espada whose resureccion exceeds that of 4th rank are not permitted to release beneath the dome of Las Noches, or shit will go down. So needless to say, Yammy's ever-growing monstrosity of a resureccion soon triggered the collapse of many a building, and finally the Las Noches dome itself.

When the dust finally settled, various Arrancar began extracting themselves from the rubble. Aizen was fuming. This was not acceptable. Szayel slipping nodoes into Ulquiorra's tea was one thing. Zommari sneaking into Nnoitra's bedroom late at night and giving him a ridiculous new Lady-Gaga style haircut was another. Even Grimmjow ceroing down all the walls of the showers while they were in use was more acceptable than THIS. THIS was something completely different all together. Aizen was beside himself. Had his dear Espada's relations really gotten this bad? So bad they had actually collapsed the walls of their beloved home? Aizen put his anger aside. This was too serious to get in a huff about. Realizing that not only Las Noches, but also the Espada's friendships needed to be repaired, Aizen came to a conclusion.

_I hoped it would never come to this, _he thought as he stood. _But it looks like there is no other option…_

* * *

Starrk observed as the Exequias, along with a number of lesser arrancar began clearing the rubble of what was once Las Noches aside, in hopes to repair what was once there. Aizen had disappeared shortly after the dome's collapse, and Starrk neither knew, nor particularly cared where he'd wandered off to. His best guess was that he had gone into a state of shock and was now brooding over the loss of his pride, his glory, his palace, his Las Noches. Truth be told, Starrk nearly felt sorry for the guy. The Primera Espada looked down to the young girl sitting beside him, her deep pink eyes a mix of astonishment and disbelief, as she gazed at the scene before them. After a few moments, she looked up at her partner.

"What are we going to do now, Starrk?"

"I don't know, Lilynette," answered Starrk, as he watched Nnoitra and Szayel squabble childishly amongst some of the ruins. "I don't know."

After what seemed like hours, but was actually minutes, Tousen finally emerged from the rubble, bearing what appeared to be a brochure and a grin. A very creepy grin at that.

"Come," was all he said as he walked by. He seemed to be gathering the Espada, Gin and several of the fraccion as he passed.

"Where are we going?" Lilynette demanded, but met no response.

Tousen seemed too focused on something else to be paying attention to the whines and complains of those around him. He was a man on a mission, and he would not rest until it was accomplished. Eventually, they reached the upper half of a sand hill, where there appeared to be some sort of train station. There was much confusion amongst the arrancar.

"Since when was there a train station here?" demanded Nnoitra.

Again there was no response from Tousen, who lead them over to a docked train, shockingly labelled 'The Happy Express'.

As Tousen approached, the doors of the train seemed to eerily slide open on their own accord, and a vaporous mist wafted out. The Espada all instinctively took a step back. What the heck was going on?

Tousen however, was not unnerved or off put in the slightest. He turned to his party.

"All aboard!" he said, smiling.  
The arrancar had no choice but to obey. Tousen's smiles were an uncommon, but scary rarity.

The doors creaked closed, just as the final stragglers made their ways in. Now, they stood and waited in the uncanny darkness of the train's innermost compartment. Nobody moved a muscle. Until…

"Ow!" Grimmjow's distinctive voice echoed in the blackness. "Who was that? Watch where you put your arm!"

"How was I supposed to know you were there? Not my fault you were in the way…"

"Uuugh! Luppi! What were you waving your arms around for anyway? Arrgh! You're doing it again! Stop touching me!"

"Huh? I'm not touching you now…"

"Then who the heck is?"

"WATCH THE FEET!" a new voice chimed in.

There was much shuffling, pushing and shoving.

"Ouch!"

"Hey stop that!"

"MY NAILS!"

"Ahh! My pancreas!"

This continued on for a number of minutes, before Tousen decided it was enough. "SILENCE!" he attempted to yell, but it only came out as a muffled whine beneath the quarrelling Arrancar.

Eventually, a light switch was located and activated. The Arrancar ceased their brawling at once. Quickly, they untangled themselves from their various awkward positions. (Gin being in the centre of it all, as he was the one who started it) As Grimmjow removed his foot from Nnoitra's hollow hole, they took in their surroundings. What they saw shocked and alarmed them. The train wasn't called 'The Happy Express' for nothing. The walls and doors were adorned with bright, obnoxious colours and paintings, as well as quotes on teamwork and cooperation splashed the complex. In many of the Arrancar's minds, it was like walking into a nightmare. To make matters worse, the doors to the train had been sealed shut, allowing none to back out. No sooner had they taken all this in however, a voice from the trains intercom system graced their ears.

"Greetings, my Espada and fraccion".

"It's Aizen!" whined Tousen, as though it were a surprise to him.

"Of course it's me!" retorted Aizen. "Wasn't I the one who instructed you to lead the others here, Kaname?"

Tousen whined something about going on holidays.

"What do you want from us Aizen?" questioned Halibell.

"Yeah!" pressed Ggio. "Why are we here?"  
"Because," replied Aizen. "I have given you all various chances, but you just keep at each other's necks. That display just now should rest my case."

Some of the Arrancar murmured and shuffled their feet.

Having got the effect he wanted, Aizen continued. "Its time you all learnt a lesson. So I am taking you far away, where you will learn to behave yourselves. That's right. Teamwork boot-camp."

There was an array of groans from the Arrancar.

"And what if we don't accept?" asked Barrigan.

"You have passed the point of backing out," responded Aizen. "Upon entering this train, a powerful kido was applied you all. It is activating as we speak. You will soon be fixed in gigais and thus have your powers sealed. In other words, you are now just like humans."

"But why would you go this far?" demanded Ulquiorra, as those around him looked down, surprised and alarmed by their artificializing bodies.

"It's all for the better," replied Aizen. "By the time this is over, I am sure you will become a single unit in cooperation. I hope to see you become children I can truly be proud of. And don't fret. We will have plenty of fun on this camp as well, and hopefully get to know each other better."

"Camp?" stuttered Mila-Rose. "But we haven't packed anything! What about our clothes?"

Aizen could be heard as he chuckled from the front control room.

"Never fear!" Aizen's now cheerful voice echoed throughout the train's PA system. "Where we're going, you won't _need _clothes!"

The Espada instantly dreaded what they'd gotten themselves into. Except Barrigan, who gave an interested grunt.

"Now my Espada, please find a compartment to sit in. It is a ten-hour train ride, so rest well. Although I wouldn't advise visiting compartment number nine, I hear it already has a resident…Tousen will be around with the food trolley at 6:30 PM. Enjoy the trip, and please try to be civil with each other."

As the train started, the Arrancar made their ways into the trains different compartments. The train began chugging, slowly at first, but picked up in speed. The Arrancar watched out the window as the ruins of Las Noches became smaller and smaller, before distance rendered the wreck invisible. If there was one thing Starrk knew, it was that they were _well_ past the point of no return.

* * *

**Kris: So there's the first chapter! I'm not entirely sure when I'll be able to get the next one up, seeing as I'm very busy with school (just started yr 12). But seeing as the summer holidays are coming up sooner than later, I can assure you it will be up sometime soon. As I said before, this is an idea I've had for quite a while xD So I'd love some feedback! Please leave a review. I won't bite. Much ~ ;)**


	2. Over the Hills and Far Away

**Kris: Hey guys! BIG THANKS to all who reviewed, I really appreciate it :) Glad you're all enjoying it so far. Sorry for not updating this sooner. Had exams, and then I was in Fiji for a bit. But now I am on holidays for over a month, so updates will be more regular. I also penned a fair bit while in Fiji, so all that needs to be done is type it up. Heres chapter two~**

* * *

**Chapter Two: Over the Hills and Far Away**

"Heads or Tails?"

"..."

"Which one?"

"No."

"You've got to pick one."

"Grr…"

" 'Grr' is not an option, Grimmjow-san. Come on, Heads or Tails?"

"Bite me."

"That's the type of attitude that makes Aizen-sama sad! He wants us to learn to cooperate on this camp, so what a better time to start than now?"

"…"

"Heads or Tails, Grimmjow-san?"

Grimmjow exasperatedly sat up in his seat by the window. "Oi you! Nnoitra!"

Nnoitra glared across from his seat by the door. "What do you want, Jaegerjaquez?"

"Do something about your fraccion!" Grimmjow raged, indicating to the young male across from him, who had some sort of coin cupped in his hands, ready to toss.

"Psshh…" Nnoitra looked away. "If it's bothering you, then do something about it yourself."

Grimmjow groaned and placed his hand to where his mask remnants should have been. Looking around the small compartment (number six, as Grimmjow had made sure of), to Tesla, Nnoitra and Ulquiorra, he noted they were the same. These gigais made them look just like humans (well…apart from Aaroniero, who still had that weird tank thingy), as they concealed all mask remnants and hollow holes. And it stank. The train had only been gone half an hour, and already Grimmjow wanted nothing more than to smash his way out of the stupid locomotive, and be on his way home. But then he remembered he had no home to return to, no thanks to recent events. Sighing as he relaxed back into his seat, he made a mental note to try and locate something to gag Tesla with. At least that would make this journey _somewhat _more enjoyable. _Somewhat._

"Greetings again, my Espada!" Aizen's voice echoed on the intercom they'd come to hate, for the umpteenth time in the so-far short trip.

Grimmjow and his compartment mates groaned, as did several others who were boarded on the train. The intercom system was too much of a novelty for Aizen it seemed, as their master simply couldn't resist the temptation of gracing the train's travellers with his absurd proclamations every few moments.

"I would like to inform you of our dinner options, as I am sure many of you will soon grow hungry and want food."

"What? I heard food!" said Nnoitra, suddenly snapping to attention, Grimmjow doing the same.

"Lets see, what's on this evening's menu…" Aizen's voice sounded again. "For entrees: deep fried cashews in mayonnaise and sweet and sour mustard sauce. For dinner: eggplant curry with a mix of lentils, vinegar and chilli. And for desert: banana and pickle custard with added soy sauce, mushrooms, and whipped crème."

The guys in compartment no. 6 shuddered. It seemed that human girl had rubbed off somewhat on their leader.

"And now for a sing-along! Join in everybody! Ten little Espada went out one day~!"

This seemed to be the breaking point for Ulquiorra, who had so far managed to keep his cool, silent and stoic composure. "SHUT UP!"

But sadly, his efforts were useless.

"Over the hills and far away~"

"Come on, seriously," sneered Grimmjow. "As if anyone would actually sing along to-"

"Mother Aizen said 'Come back, come back!'" a muffled voce came up the train's aisle way, before Yammy opened the door of compartment six. "But only nine little Espada came back."

"Yeah, which means the tenth ones buggered off somewhere or died," said Nnoitra. "So scram!"

"Master Nnoitra…" Tesla said in a small voice, giving his superior a slight nudge. "Remember why we're here."

"Well I don't give a shit," replied Nnoitra. "Especially since this is Yammy we're talking about."

Yammy took this as an invitation to self-invite himself into the compartment, causing audible groaning from its occupants (including Tesla).

"Yammy…don't you have somewhere else you can sit?" asked Ulquiorra who was EXTREMELLY close to actually being seated in Grimmjow's lap, due to the bulk of Yammy which had just seated on his other side.

"Yes and no," replied Yammy. "I never really decided on a fixed compartment, so Aizen said I can just sit wherever."

"So you're going around bothering whoever you find?" Grimmjow asked, wincing as Ulquiorra's bony butt pressed into his thigh.

"Hmmm…I think I'll go see what Barrigan's up to."

"GOOD. Go and bother him and don't come back here."

As Yammy left the compartment, the other four Arrancar sighed in relief, enjoying the peace.

"Seven little Espada went out one day~"

Well, almost.

When the song finally came to an end, Grimmjow and the others cheered out of joy the damn thing was over. Aizen however, heard the cheering and misinterpreted it as encoring, much to the Arrancar's dismay.

* * *

"Will he just stop?" groaned Lilynette from compartment no. 8, as Aizen began his own rendition of 'Pop goes the Weasel'. "If he's trying to strengthen our relations, its not working…this is probably only driving everyone mad."

"I agree," noted Starrk who was trying to get some shuteye. "Its bothersome."

Lilynette sighed and looked out the window. "I'm going to the bathroom," she said. "Change of scenery."

Starrk grunted in response, as she left the compartment and began down the hallway. She reached the ladies bathrooms, just to the right of the commander compartment and pushed the door open, only to see that Apache, Mila-Rose and Luppi were already in there.

"These bathrooms are the only place where you can't hear Aizen's voice…" Mila-Rose sighed.

"Then I'll take my time," Lilynette said, closing the door on Aizen's muffled rendition of 'Old McDonald'.

"I wonder what this camp will be like…" Luppi pondered, as Lilynette entered a cubicle and began drawing on one of the walls with a pencil.

"I dread to imagine," Apache said, as she fixed her hair in the rainbow-bordered mirror. "Oh and by the way Luppi, are you able to use all the facilities of the ladies room?"

"Depends," Luppi answered, slotting a few coins into a sanitary distributor and collecting the goods that came from it. "Either way, I best be off. Ggio might wonder where I've gotten to."

"See ya then," Mila-Rose said, as the other Arrancar left the room.

"What the heck?" Lilynette's voice came from the cubicle. It seemed she had finally lifted the toilet lid. "There's a goldfish swimming around in there!"

"…Poor thing," Apache said.

Mila-Rose only dreaded the imminent camp even more.

* * *

Meanwhile in the outside world of the train, Aizen continued his 'Old McDonald' sing-along.

"…Will he…stop singing…about farm animals…?"

"Gee Nnoitra," Grimmjow laughed. "Almost sounds like you're scared of 'em."

"Shut up, Jaegerjaquez."

"Is an Impunscrouge even an animal?" Tesla questioned as Aizen began a new verse.

"No," admitted Ulquiorra. "Aizen's just run out of animals, so he's making some up. That's why this song has been going for so long."

The sing-along continued extensively for another half hour, before even Aizen got tired of it, and it ended.

"Finally," sighed Ulquiorra, glad that the torment was over.

"Now I'm bored," whined Nnoitra.

"Then why don't you give out neighbours a visit," Ulquiorra suggested, indicating across to compartment no. 5.

"But Szayel, Zommari and Aaroniero are in there," Nnoitra whined.

"So?" questioned Grimmjow. "Those guys are the lowest ranked Espada. Even Yammy could defeat them once he goes post release."

"I don't care," Nnoitra squirmed. "They might be the lowest ranked in strength, but they're the highest ranked in creepiness."

"I dare you to go in and say Hi."

"Why don't you do it, if you're so keen?"

Grimmjow stood. "Only if you do it first."

"Not before you do it," Nnoitra said, standing as well.

"Is that so?"

And before anything else could be said or done, the two Espada were out in the hallway, trying to force one another into compartment no. 5.

"Should we try stopping them?" Tesla asked Ulquiorra.

The quarto shook his head. "Just let them be."

* * *

Gin entered the men's room only to see that Luppi was already in there, washing his hands in the sink.

"Hey," Gin smiled.

"The men's room isn't as nice as the ladies," Luppi reported. "You should go across the hall for a nicer experience."

"I would," said Gin. "But Halibell's in there…and you know what she's like…"

"Mmm…she doesn't trust me," Luppi said, lifting the goods he bought from the ladies room out of his bag. "I don't know why…"

"Maybe because she's not sure if you're female or not?"

"Hahaha! You're funny, Gin. But any case, if we want to go into the ladies room and use their facilities, we'll have to wait until Halibell is out…"

"I hope you're not discussing anything inappropriate," an ominous, whiney voice sounded.

"…What?" Gin and Luppi searched around for the source of the voice. It wasn't in any of the cubicles.

They were about to give up their search, when Tousen came down from a loose board in the ceiling.

"If you're discussing anything sinister, I shall have to report to Aizen-sama," he said.

"Aww, no fun Kaname," Gin frowned. Tousen always spoils the fun.

Luppi was more concerned about something else. "What were you doing in the roof?"

"Keeping watch for Aizen-sama," replied Tousen. "Making sure everyone's behaving."

"But you can't see," Gin pointed out.

"Maybe that's how he got in the roof…" Luppi suggested.

The two were saved from Tousen's imminent wrath by the timely arrival of Grimmjow.

"Gahh! Finally somewhere Aizen-bloody-sama's voice can't be heard!"

"I hope I didn't just hear what I thought I heard, Grimmjow," Tousen said darkly.

"Ah shit, not you…"

Gin and Luppi used this as a diversion to make their escape.

* * *

"I hope you all liked the 'Old McDonald' extravaganza!" Aizen declared through the intercom, ignoring the various groans that followed. "I now have Ggio in the room with me, ready to assist me with the next song!"

"Please shut up," said Starrk, who had just been awoken by Aizen's latest proclamation.

"Nnoitra and Grimmjow have been fighting in the hall," Lilynette said as she entered their compartment. "Slamming each other against the wall and stuff. But they're having a break, 'cause Grimmjow has to pee. I'm not sure what they're trying to do, but I don't think Aizen's noticed."

"He's been to busy having his own fun to notice anything like that," Starrk responded.

"Grimmjow will be back soon," Said Lilynette. "Wanna come and watch with Ulquiorra, Tesla and I? Its kinda funny to watch."

"I'd rather not," Starrk said, trying to get into a more comfortable position. "Its loud enough in here as it is…if I could just break this compartment's intercom speaker…"

"You're no fun, Starrk," Lilynette said, pouting as she left the room.

* * *

"Thankyou very much for your time, Ggio," Aizen said, smiling. "It was a pleasure intercoming with you."

"No, thankyou Aizen-sama," said Ggio, smiling with a sparkle in his tooth. "I had lots of fun. Now I better go and find Luppi, so I can tell him all about it."

And with that he was off, out of the commander room and up the train's hallway.

"Hmmm…now, what to do next," Aizen wondered out loud, reaching for his _Women's Weekly _magazine.

Just as he was about to share its contents with the rest of the train however, there was a knock to the door.

"Come in," Aizen called.

"Umm…Aizen-sama…" Gin's head popped in the door.

"What is it, Gin?" Aizen questioned. "If its you, you know you don't need to knock. Would you like to have a turn singing into the intercom as well?"

Gin shook his head, and looked around nervously.

"Is something troubling you, Gin?" Aizen asked kindly, inviting him into the compartment. "Because you know if something is, I'll always be here to listen."

"There's something I need to tell you, Aizen," Gin said, quickly looking around the room, before closing the door behind him. "Its about Tousen…"

"Oh?" Aizen said, as Gin took a seat opposite him.

"I think Tousen…might be a ghost…"

"Are you sure?" Aizen asked.

Gin nodded sagely. "I saw him floating once."

"Well Gin…I'm not sure if this is true, but you are convinced then I trust you to keep an eye out for any ghost-like behaviour."

"Yes Aizen-sama. Thankyou Aizen-sama."

As Gin left the compartment, Aizen sighed and shook his head. It seemed that his Espada's terrible relations were even having psychological affects on his beloved Gin. Tousen? A ghost? Come on, he had never heard of anything more preposterous. Although…when it came to ghosts it was usually someone no one would suspect. That's how the stories went, at least. Aizen sighed and returned to what he was doing beforehand—reading his _Women's Weekly_ magazine to his Arrancar.

* * *

"I swear…" Halibell said, sitting in compartment no. 3 with her fraccion. "If that guy tries hitting on me one more time, he'll have another thing coming."

"Barrigan's an old creep," Sun-sun nodded.

"I can hear you, you know."

It was then that the four ladies realised the old guy was hiding under one of the seats and had been there all along.

"Oh blast, my cover is blown…"

If Halibell were a Shinigami, she would have gone Bankai then. Barrigan is lucky she isn't. However…

"OUT!" Halibell yelled so loud, it drowned out Aizen's voice on the intercom, which was reading about how Julia Gillard swaps rings from one hand to another to stop it hurting when she needs to write, making people think she's engaged.

Barrigan quickly made his exit.

"Honestly, that guy…"

The girls didn't have peace for long, however. A loud THUMP was heard right outside their compartment.

"Nnoitra and Grimmjow again, I assume?" Halibell questioned.

Mila-Rose opened the door slightly. "No actually," she said in surprise. "Its Wonderweiss and Gin."

The other three quickly came to the door to catch a glimpse of Wonderweiss fly-kicking Gin across the hall.

"It seems he's mad at Gin for entering his and Tousen's territory," observed Sun-sun, watching as Tousen stood in the door way of compartment no. 2, observing as Gin got his ass handed to him.

Suddenly, the doors of the commander room burst open and all attention diverted to Aizen, who stood in the doorway frowning.

"Wonderweiss," he spoke. "Stop jumping on Gin."

Wonderweiss obediently ceased his bouncing and scurried back to Tousen's side.

"The two of you must now be punished," Aizen said, glancing at Wonderweiss and Gin.

"But Aizen-samaaaa…" Gin whined.

"No buts, Gin. I don't care if you're part of my upper committee, I wont tolerate your bad behaviour. Think of the bad example you're setting to the Arrancar. For this, you are to spend forty-five minutes up the back of the train in the unoccupied compartment no. 7. As for you Wonderweiss, you are to come into the commanding compartment with me. And the rest of you, back to your compartments."

* * *

Some time later, Nnoitra stuck his head out of compartment no. 6 He looked up the hallway. Nothing. Down the hallway. Nothing. He quietly slipped back inside the compartment, just as Grimmjow came out of the men's room. Now was his chance.

As Grimmjow drew within three steps of the door, Nnoitra made his move. Swiftly, he flung the door open and launched himself at the Sexta, who wasn't taken by surprise. In fact, it seemed he was expecting it. Quickly, he turned in Nnoitra's grip, shoving the spoon-like Arrancar into the door of compartment no. 5.

"You're not getting away that easy, Jaegerjaquez," Nnoitra said firmly, pulling Grimmjow close. "If I'm going in there, I'm taking you with me."

"Don't touch me!" snapped Grimmjow.

"This is part of my plan to force you into compartment no. 5."

"Your plan sucks!"

"Well you spent far too long on the toilet!"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

The two's arguing was quickly silence however, upon the opening of compartment no. 5's door.

"Would you two brutes please turn it down?" Szayel said in an irritated voice. "We're trying to have a conference in here."

"Uhh…what?"

Nnoitra and Grimmjow briefly glanced the other two in the compartment, whom were wearing odd-looking clothing and top hats.

"Although…" Szayel said with a creepy grin, eyeing the current positions of Grimmjow and Nnoitra. "You two can keep on doing whatever that is you're doing. I'll keep the door open so I can watch."

It was then that Nnoitra realised he was still clutching Grimmjow close to him, in effort to keep him from escaping. Quickly, he pushed Grimmjow away. Right into Szayel, who didn't mind the contact at all. Grimmjow however…was less than impressed.

"GET BACK HERE!" he raged, chasing Nnoitra up and down the train's corridor.

"GRIMMJOW AND NNOITRA," Aizen's voice boomed through the intercom. It wasn't a shouting voice though, proving he had accidentally amplified the device's sound settings, as if it weren't loud enough already. "YOU ARE MAKING TOO MUCH NOISE. YOU ARE BOTH TO GO TO THE BACK OF THE TRAIN NOW, FOR A TIME OUT. YOU NEED TO LEARN TO STOP BEING NOISY! SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO REST AND RELAX, SO STOP RUNNING AROUND LIKE A HERD OF DRUNKEN ANTOLOPES!"

"Oh for the love of all things good, SHUT UP, AIZEN! You're the one making the most noise," Starrk's voice came muffled from back at compartment no. 8.

Either Aizen didn't hear, or he pretended not to. "NOW, TO THE BACK OF THE TRAIN, YOU TWO."

"How can you see us, Aizen?"

"I AM AIZEN, I SEE ALL."

Nnoitra and Grimmjow grumbled, cursed and gave each other wedgies as they headed to the train's rear.

* * *

"Well this sucks," Grimmjow said boredly, as he sat back to back with Nnoitra at the rear of the train, ten minutes later.

"Its your fault," said Nnoitra.

"How is it my fault?"

"You're the one who dared me to go in there."

"You're the one who was bored and dared me to go with you."

"You were the one who suggested it in the first place."

"No, that was Ulquiorra."

"Oh yeah, my bad. It was."

Said Quarto Espada was currently walking up the hallway toward them.

"You suck, Ulquiorra," they said in unison.

"Grimmjow-san, Nnoitra-sama try not to get into any more trouble that you already are," Tesla said, paced slightly behind Ulquiorra.

Nnoitra rolled his eyes. "Do us all a favour Tesla, and stop trying to be a good boy."

"I-"

_Thunk._

"What was that?"

The Arrancar all glanced around to where they thought they'd heard the eerily noise.

"I think it came from that storage compartment…compartment no.9…"

All eyes turned on the large storage compartment behind them. It took up the entire last section of the train, and seemed a whole lot bigger that any of the other compartments. From what they knew, no one was using it.

"What could be in there?" wandered Grimmjow.

"You guys heard it too?" Lilynette asked, coming out of the nearby compartment no. 8. "Its been going on for the past while…"

"It's been even more persistent than Aizen," agreed Starrk, as he too came out into the hallway.

"We think its haunted," stated Lilynette. "There's something scary in there, I bet."

"Hmm…," said Grimmjow. "Well in that case, there's only one way of finding out…"

"That's right," nodded Nnoitra.

"It will be a bit dangerous," admitted Ulquiorra.

"And risky," added Lilynette.

"But it will be worth it," concluded Starrk.

"We must send Tesla in to investigate!" they all said at once.

"Right!" nodded Tesla, before "Wait...what?" he stuttered, "But why me?"

"'Cause you're the only non-Espada type," Grimmjow answered.

"I was gonna say because he's a prude," Nnoitra said helpfully. "But I guess that's as good a reason as any."

While the Arrancar began to instigate a plan, nobody noticed Gin sneak out of compartment no. 7 into their compartment no. 6 in order to avoid the obnoxious thunking sound. As for Aizen, well…it seemed he had forgotten his precious intercom was still on and was now talking to Wonderweiss…in a very loud, creepy way…

"Okay," Tesla said bravely. "I'm ready to go."

He had a rope tied tightly around his waist.

"Be sure to pull me back in if anything happens."

"Oh Tesla, so brave," Nnoitra said admiringly.

"What was that, Nnoitra-sama?"

"I said hurry up and go in, ya dumb kid."

"Right! Here I go."

And in he went.

"He should be back out within a few minutes, and be able to report to us," Starrk said, as he fed the rope through the door while Tesla ventured deeper into the creepy compartment.

A few minutes went by in calm silence.

"Ahem…" Ulquiorra coughed suddenly, trying to sound inconspicuous. "Yammy at 12 o'clock."

Grimmjow cursed. "Don't make eye contact…Drat, he's coming."

The Arrancar all cursed their luck as Yammy waddled up to them. Luckily however, Ulquiorra's amazing skills at looking inconspicuous paid off and Yammy got bored and walked away before he even reached them.

"Woh…that was close," Ulquiorra said, whipping sweat from his brow.

Anything that was about to be said was momentarily forgotten, due to a sudden scream and thump from inside the compartment.

"Tesla!" Nnoitra nearly shouted.

Starrk and Grimmjow pulled on the rope, until they towed in Tesla, who appeared to be in a state of shock.

"Tesla, speak to me!" Nnoitra said, shaking his fraccion. "What did you see?"

Tesla gave no response, and Nnoitra dragged him into Starrk and Lilynette's compartment for safekeeping.

"We need to find out what's in there," Starrk said, sternly.

"I'll go in," Grimmjow said bravely.

"As will I," said Ulquiorra, becoming the other half of Grimmjow's elite squad.

"Good," said Starrk. "Because I honestly couldn't be bothered going in there."

"We'll hold the rope for you," Lilynette said to them helpfully.

Grimmjow took hold of the rope and Ulquiorra grabbed a torch. Together they pushed the doors of the creepy compartment open.

They were going in.

* * *

**Kris: Oh the suspense! It's killing me. Not really. Sorry if the chapter seemed kinda jumpy, this was half written at midnight. Once they get to the campsite, the story becomes more solid.**

**I shall have chapter three up for Christmas. Once again, please review your thoughts, and enjoy your holidays everyone!**


	3. The Most Terrifying Thing in Existence

**Kris: Big thanks for all the reviews guys! I'm really glad you guys like the story so far. It only gets better from here. Hope you all had a good Christmas!**

* * *

**Chapter Three: The Most Terrifying Thing in Existence**

"_Uuaah. Wahhhhuuaahhh….."_

Lilynette glared up at the nearby intercom.

"Isn't Aizen supposed to be punishing Wonderweiss for being bad?" she wondered out loud.

"It seems like he's let him loose on the intercom…" Starrk noted.

"Oh, joy…"

"There is meaning to Wonderweiss words," Tousen scolded as he emerged from Gin's compartment, bearing an apron and the dinner trolley.

"What do you mean?" asked Lilynette. "All he does is-"

"_Uuaahhh…"_

"-make weird noises…"

"Its something only those who are pure may decipher," Tousen said mysteriously, before wandering back down the train's aisle again.

"…Sure," Lilynette said, noting Gin, Ggio and Luppi watching Tousen from their compartments, before Gin beckoned the other two into his.

* * *

"Tread quietly," Ulquiorra whispered across to Grimmjow in a low voice.

It was a very big compartment. There were many twists and turns, and their rope had nearly run out. There wasn't much at all. Just some old filing cabinets in a corner. Grimmjow was about to suggest they quit their harvestless investigation, before the mysterious noise sounded once again. This time, it was closer. Much closer.

"Who's there?" demanded Grimmjow.

"You want me to show myself?" a voice asked.

"Yes," called Ulquiorra.

The owner of the voice did what they were told.

"WHAT THE HECK?" Grimmjow hollered.

Even Ulquiorra was shocked. The pair did the first logical thing that came to mind.

"RUN!"

* * *

"So what did you see?" Starrk questioned a recently recovered Tesla.

"It was…it was terrible!" the fraccion replied, his voice trembling slightly, as Nnoitra stroked his hair. "I'll be having nightmares for years."

"It couldn't have been that bad…" pondered Lilynette. "What's the worst thing you can find on a train?"

A pair of shocked screams were suddenly heard from within the compartment, followed by hurried footsteps, before both Ulquiorra and Grimmjow burst forth. And they were not alone.

"What? You don't want to stay for a while~?" a scantily dressed Charlotte Cuulhorn called out, quick in pursuit.

Nnoitra simply stood in shock, as did Starrk as he quickly covered Lilynette's eyes. Tesla whimpered from behind Nnoitra something that sounded a lot like "I told you so". Grimmjow however, was not so silent. As he ran back up toward the front of the train, screaming bloody murder, the occupants of all other compartments (aside from Aizen's as he was still letting Wonderweiss have his way with the PA system) wondered what was going on outside, and so opened their compartment doors only to look upon the horror of what lay before them. This caused quite the kafuffle.

"What…"

"…the heck…"

"…IS THAT?"

All at once, the priorly peaceful hallway was crowded with swarming Arrancar, all running to different compartments. Arrancar were running to and fro, up and down and across the train's aisle to get to any compartment that would separate them from Barrigan's fraccion. Some from compartment no. 5 rushed into compartment no. 2. Some from compartment no.3 hurried across to compartment no. 7. You get idea.

Once the hallway was once again peaceful, Cuulhorn returned to the depths of compartment no. 9, pleased with the disturbance he had caused.

* * *

Once Grimmjow had caught his breath, he took the chance to look up from his seat and see the sign above the door. In his hurry, he had entered compartment no.5.

_Well shit…_he thought to himself. _Nnoitra better not find out I came in here by myself…wait_

It was then that he realised there was a range of different people in here to last time.

"Hey," said Halibell, from the other side of the compartment.

"Uuaah…" Wonderweiss had escaped Aizen by the looks of things.

"You must be one of the only people who didn't move," Halibell said, looking across the compartment to Zommari.

"I didn't see the need to," the other Espada explained.

Grimmjow shuddered. That guy creeped him out. When he wasn't falling asleep from pretending to meditate, he was _watching _people with those creepy eyes. When he wasn't doing either of these two things, he was…well Grimmjow wasn't quite sure what else he did, but he was sure it couldn't be pleasant. He'd walked past the other Espada's domain on a number of occasions to sense the aroma of something that smelled an awful lot like foreign 'vegetation'.

In compartment no. 7, there were only two occupants. These were Ulquiorra and Sun-Sun.

"Whoa, how did I get back here?" Sun-Sun wondered out loud.

Ulquiorra shrugged. "This was the closest compartment for me to hide in once I came out of no. 9. It was the closest for Grimmjow as well, but the idiot could be anywhere at the moment."

"I have just come up with a great idea for the Old McDonald song!" Aizen's voice declared cheerfully through the intercom.

"Just leave us alone…" Ulquiorra cursed.

"Old McDonald had a farm~"

"Please, I thought we ended this," said a disgruntled Sun-Sun.

"And on that farm he had a Grimmjow~"

Ulquiorra snorted. Sun-Sun let loose a laugh. Grimmjow's enraged "WHAT?" could be heard throughout all the train's compartments.

"With a meow, meow here and a meow, meow there. Here a meow, there a meow, everywhere a meow, meow~"

Back in compartment no. 5, Grimmjow was fuming.

"Hold me back! Hold me back!" he growled, pulling Halibell and Wonderweiss' arms over him in an effort to restrain himself.

Halibell simply released her enforced hold. "You know, if you want to go and beat Aizen up, I'm not going to stop you," she said honestly.

"Uuaah," agreed Wonderweiss.

"In fact, if I were in your position, I would," Halibell added. "So off you go."

Grimmjow growled and hurried out of the room, Wonderweiss still on his back.

* * *

"So…you think Tousen is a ghost?"

Gin, Ggio and Luppi had not left their compartment at all. Gin had been enlightening the other two over the past half hour with his reasons on why he suspected the blind ex-captain to be of paranormal substance.

"That does make sense…" Ggio said, rubbing his chin with his thumb and forefinger. "He sounds a bit like a ghost sometimes…"

"And he looks like one a bit as well," added Luppi.

Gin smiled. "I'm glad that you two see eye-to-eye with me. But we need proof. This camp is an excellent opportunity for us; we can truly expose Kaname for what he really is in front of Aizen-sama. We'll force him out of his shell."

"We should make a team!" said Ggio.

Gin nodded. "From this moment, we shall be…the Tousen Busters…But Tousen must not know we're doing this, right? Otherwise he'll thwart our plans."

Ggio and Luppi nodded. "Agreed."

* * *

"Open the door, Aizen!" Grimmjow yelled angrily, bashing on the door of the commanding compartment.

Aizen was pretending not to notice.

"And on that farm, he had an Ulquiorra~"

Said Espada was outside the door alongside Grimmjow and Wonderweiss in a heartbeat.

"Aizen…" Ulquiorra said sternly.

Grimmjow could tell he wasn't impressed.

"With a flap, flap here and a flap, flap there~"

"Aizen!" Ulquiorra shouted.

There was a sudden "Uuaah" from Wonderweiss, before he jumped off Grimmjow's back. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra quickly turned around only to see him running over to Tousen, who was still wearing an apron, and was getting closer.

"What are you doing outside your compartments?" the whiney man said as he walked forward.

Not wanting to have to put up with Tousen, Ulquiorra and Grimmjow shoved themselves into the closest compartment.

* * *

"You know, 'clothing optional' doesn't sound so bad," Barrigan said.

Aaroniero nodded. "We'll get to see what everyone has to offer~"

"You know, just because clothing is optional, it doesn't mean that everyone will choose to be naked," said Apache. Why, oh why did she have to be stuck in here with those two?

"Suit yourself," said Aaroniero, both heads bobbing up and down in the tank. "But I have abbs I wanna show off."

"…Right…"

The door suddenly slammed open and Ulquiorra tumbled in, closely followed by Grimmjow, who fell on top of him, quickly kicking the door closed.

"Escaped Tousen…" the blue-haired Espada sighed.

"Grimm…jow…idiot…squishing…"

"Huh? Oh sorry," said Grimmjow, quickly getting off Ulquiorra, allowing the other Espada to breathe.

They both stood, taking a step back when they saw Aaroniero was there. However, they were saved from any unwanted turmoil by none other than Aizen's voice.

"My Espada," Aizen's voice echoed. "We are here."

Quickly, all Arrancar in all compartments ceased their squabbling to gaze out the train windows, just in time to witness a pair of large iron gates opening to allow the train access. Above the gates, clearly written were the words 'Camp Happy-Clap'.

"You have to be kidding," Grimmjow groaned, as the train chugged into the camp's grounds, the gates shutting behind it.

As the train docked, Grimmjow made out a dark figure standing nearby. Someone was waiting for them.

* * *

**Oooh, who could it be? Shorter chapter this time, I know. But chapter four is already completed and up on my computer, so you'll be able to read it pretty soon. Everything from here on takes place at Camp Happy-Clap. A camp unlike any other, hehehe. Please review your thoughts, and chapter four will be up shortly! Thankyou.**


	4. Field of Cows

**Kris: Wow guys, thanks for the awesome reviews. I'll give a shout out to those who have reviewed so far- Rhirhirhi, Kira michi, YokoTenshi-chan, ama-chan, Grimmjow's girl, Aizen on a Firetruck, 7, HyourinmaruIce, Rachi-kun, ****Amaterasu Ai, Fuocoso, doodle808, and PhantoMNiGHT321.**

**In his review, doodle808 left a question, which I will answer now, because other people are wondering as well. Yes Aaroniero, even in a gigai, still has that tank thingy. This is because I wanted to defect from the cliché lots of other people use where he's in his Kaien Shiba body. The tank head needs more love. Its kinda sexy…in a not very sexy sorta way…so here's the chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter Four: Field of Cows**

As it turned out, Camp Happy Clap was a large farm. And petting zoo, so the sign would suggest.

The Arrancar gradually unboarded the Happy Express, Aizen taking up the rear to scold the stragglers. As they made their way onto the platform, the dark cloaked figure walked toward them.

"Welcome," it spoke in a male voice. "To Camp Happy-Clap."

"Who the heck are you?" Grimmjow demanded, only to be whacked over the head by Aizen's clipboard.

Grimmjow proceeded to mumble something he was lucky Aizen didn't hear.

"Come this way," the cloaked man said, as he guided them away from the station, and towards a nice looking building beside the paddocks, which appeared to be the accommodation.

"You know, it doesn't look too bad," Apache mused as she eyes a stylish swimming pool, and windows screening cosy, yet modern looking rooms.

The other Arrancar murmured in agreement. Though the farm seemed to be surrounded by a dense forest landscape, it really didn't seem that bad. They entered the building, arriving in what appeared to be some sort of meeting room.

"Welcome," the cloaked man said once again, this time to throw his hood off, revealing a young face. "To Camp Happy-Clap. It will be your home for the next two weeks. My name is Carp and I shall be your instructor."

"Carp? Like a fish?" Szayel inquired.

"Well is there any other sort of Carp?" the instructor questioned.

"Well, uhh…no, I guess not," Szayel responded.

Carp smirked, before surveying the group of Arrancar once again.

"One thing you should know about me," he said. "Is that I am a naturalist. As a result, this will affect the food, as well as where you'll be staying. For I would like this to be…" he paused for dramatic effect. "A great wildlife experience."

"Not that I'm complaining or anything…" began Nnoitra. "But the accommodation seems civilised."

Carp gave a laugh. "You think you're staying upstairs? Not a chance. What's natural about being in that sort of room? You guys are staying…out there," he indicated out a window.

Turning their gazes to the window, the Arrancar were unable to see much due to the fact night was on the way. But at the other side of a large paddock, a couple hundred metres away, a large campfire could be seen.

"Yes, that would be my second in charge and our four assistants, preparing for your arrival," Carp said. "Upon your arrival at the campsite, you will find that there are two cabins. These are for Aizen and his colleagues, and the ladies. As for the rest of you…" he hefted up a large bag. "These are 2-3 man tent packages. You will need to pitch them once you get there."

"What about Luppi?" Grimmjow asked. "Does that count as male or female?"

"Well don't be stupid!" Luppi snapped. "I am obviously a-"

"Your friend wont mind having a tent," answered Carp. "The maximum for a cabin is seven. I'm not sure what your friend is, so they don't count. Otherwise, there seem to be seven female all up, so the women's cabin is full."

"Seven?" asked Lilynette, quickly counting herself, Halibell and fraccion. "But there are only five of us."

"Two of my four assistants are female," responded Carp.

"Which means the other two are male!" Cuulhorn said in excitement.

"Well obviously," said Szayel trying to sound bored, though his eyes betrayed the eagerness of a child in a candy store.

"I shall now read the tenting arrangements Aizen sent me priorly," Carp said, clearing his throat. "Coyote Starrk, you shall be in tent #1 with my two male assistants."

As Starrk received the tent pack from Carp, Cuulhorn and Szayel could be heard cursing the Primera's luck under their breaths.

"In tent #2," Carp continued. "Ggio Vega and Luppi Antenor."

The two gave each other a high five, before proceeding to retrieve their tent.

"In tent #3, Nnoitra Jiruga, Ulquiorra Schiffer," Nnoitra and Ulquiorra shrugged. Sure they didn't get along all the time, but they didn't hate each other too much. "And Charlotte Cuulhorn."

Nnoitra cursed. Ulquiorra grew even paler if that was possible. Cuulhorn walked over and retrieved the tent package on his own, as the other two were too stuck in their OTL moment to even budge.

"Tent #4. Grimmjow Jaggerjaquez, Tesla Lindocruz and Szayel Aporro Granz."

The three collected their tent.

"In tent #5, Barrigan Luisenbarn and Yammy Llargo, and in tent #6, Zommari Rureaux and Aaroniero Arruruerie."

Once everyone had received their tent packs, Carp began the debriefing.

"There will be a number of activities for you to complete together starting tomorrow. Though pitching the tents could be an activity in itself. Your Aizen has informed me that the relations shared by you lot are ill of health, but I can guarantee these relations will be mended by the time this camp is through."

There were mumbles of 'yeah right' throughout the group of Arrancar.

"Now without further ado, are there any questions?"

"Yes, I have one," Gin said, raising his hand.

"Speak."

"Is it true that there's a 'clothing optional' policy?"

"Why yes~!" Carp said, as he wistfully blew off his cloak in a single movement, revealing all.

This met a variety of reactions.

Yammy gasped, Nnoitra covered Tesla's eyes, Grimmjow swore, Aaroniero applauded. Szayel stared smiling, Halibell looked away, Lilynette laughed, Luppi looked on in awe, Ggio looked like he was going to pass out and Ulquiorra already had.

The now completely exposed Carp took a good laugh at them all, before "now come along all, let your adventure begin!"

He then proceeded to chase the shocked Arrancar out of the building (aside from Aaroniero, who has begun undressing as well because he wanted to join in).

A few moments later, the group had begun down to the campsite. Carp had re-cloaked himself and was leading the way. They hadn't gone far when a distinct 'Moo' was heard.

"What was that?" Tousen whined.

"Probably just a cow," said Carp.

Nnoitra instantly latched himself on to Tesla.

"This paddock is the cow paddock after all," Carp added. "The biggest paddock on sight, might I add. It leads all the way down to the beach and cave system. Though cows rarely go down there, and I don't blame them. They say that place is haunted."

"How come?" questioned Ggio.

"Ah look! We're nearly there!" Carp announced, smelling the aroma of the campfire.

As the group set foot on the site, an irritation noise began. If it weren't for the five people attempting to play their various excuses for instruments, the Arrancar never would have guessed this noise was attempted to be musical. As if things were not horrendous enough already, one of the people began to sing—or rather shout out of time.

"Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! It's the greatest place for you and me! Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! It's the seventh happiest place in the world~!"

"That doesn't even rhyme," Ulquiorra said, wincing as he joined several others in placing his hands over his ears. The racket however, was far from over.

"Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! Lets see what tomorrow brings! Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! Where you get to pee in the bushes~!"

Some however, were enjoying the terrible noises. Tousen stood behind Wonderweiss, guiding the child-like Arrancar's hands to clap in time with the beat. Not that there was a solid beat pattern to clap in time with, but he tried anyway. Wonderweiss attempted to sing along with his variety of noises.

"Uuaah…wah…uraah…"

"Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! Hey, I just saw a cow jump! Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! Where people make friends out of each other!"

It seemed that by now, even the producers of the sound were getting sick of it. The girl with the glasses stopped bashing saucepans together, the two guys who were throwing cats at each other ceased their activity (much to Grimmjow's relief—he would have had to step in if things continued) and the dark-haired girl stopped throwing water bombs at a wall. Now, only the vocalist continued.

"Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! Where all your wildest dreams come true! Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! Where we're all here with a clue~!"

"That's enough for now, Keigo," Carp said, silencing the boy with a raised hand before turning back to the Arrancar.

"These four here," he said, indicating to Keigo, both girls and one of the other guys. "Are my camp assistants here to guide and befriend you over the next two weeks. Introduce yourselves."

"I'm Keigo Asano," the vocalist said. "And I have no idea what I'm doing here."

"Tatsuki Arisawa," the dark haired girl said. "The lot of us are here on a work experience program. Keigo mainly came here to meet cute girls."

"Mizurio Kojima," a boy with a slight build and young face spoke. "I would like to meet lots of new people here as well."

'_Especially girls,'_ the smile he gave all but said.

This met response from all of the ladies and even a few of the men.

"Oh, he's really cute!" Lilynette said.

"I agree," Szayel said in a very Orochimaru-like way.

"He looks so young though," said Mila-Rose. "I prefer my men older looking."

"Doesn't stop me," shrugged Apache.

Meanwhile, Keigo was sulking. "Why don't I get that sort of response?" he whined.

"I'm Chizuru Honsho!" the spectacled red-haired girl said.

"What do you think of this one?" Nnoitra asked, giving Grimmjow a nudge.

"Not bad," the Sexta admitted.

"Not bad at all," nodded Nnoitra.

"I like girls."

"…Damn," both Nnoitra and Grimmjow cursed.

"And this here," Carp said, indicating to the young man who had not been introduced yet. "Is my second in charge, Hanri."

"Well hello," Hanri said, beaming at all the Arrancar. "Odd looking bunch, ainchya?"

"Forgive him," Carp said quickly, before anyone could make a move to attack. "Hanri is quite simple and has limited 'think before speak' function. Isn't that right, Hanri?"

"You always say that~" Hanri giggled, nuzzling his head into Carp's hand, quite like a cat would.

"Ah, so he's one of those types…" said Aizen, smiling with a twinkle in his eye.

"Yes," said Carp, smiling down at his assistant. "Now Mr. Aizen and co., your cabin is the one on the left. Ladies, on the right. Everyone else, feel free to set up camp anywhere between the two cabins, but elsewhere is out of bounds. If you need assistance, just ask Hanri or one of the assistants. Don't wander off, you may never return. And now, I must retire for the night. Goodbye."

And he was gone, running back up the cow paddock.

"Well, you all heard the man," said Aizen. "Now lets get to work."

"Grimmjow-san, I'm not sure if the tent is supposed to go that way…"

"Shut up, I know what I'm doing."

You're supposed to peg the tent into the ground and thread the connective poles in BEFORE you try to raise the tent off the ground," Szayel supplied.

"Well I do it this way," Grimmjow snapped.

"But…" Tesla began. "The instructions say—"

"I don't care about instructions!"

Meanwhile, not far off (only a few metres in fact), the group assembling tent #3 were not having much more luck.

"Damnit, Ulquiorra!" Nnoitra's muffled voice came from beneath the collapsed tent. "A bit of help would be good. What the heck are you doing out there anyway?"

Ulquiorra was simply standing and staring indifferently at Nnoitra's failing attempts.

"I'll help you~" a voice sounded, and Nnoitra quickly leapt from the tent as Cuulhorn climbed into it.

"I am so _not_ sleeping next to him," Nnoitra said as he stood next to Ulquiorra, arms folded.

"Well if you thing I will, then you have another thing coming," said Ulquiorra.

"Logically, _you _should be sleeping in the middle," said Nnoitra. "You're the smallest out of us three by a lot. You're so puny, you're like a freaking girl. Even chick Espada like Halibell and Neleil are noticeably bigger 'an you."

"Shut up," Ulquiorra glared. "If anyone sleeps in the middle, it should be you. You're so tall that if you slept on the side, you'd get so cramped up you'd roll over and the tent would come down on us."

"How about I sleep in the middle then?" said Cuulhorn as he emerged from the tent. "That way, you wont have to argue over it!"

As Ulquiorra and Nnoitra returned to their OTL positions, Cuulhorn looked across the campsite to see how the others were making progress. Grimmjow's group next door were even worse off than they were, but that was to be expected.

"Starrk and those boys have finished," he observed. "That's a surprise, but I guess those boys did most of the work. Too bad they're wasted on Starrk. Though you two aren't too bad yourselves."

As Ulquiorra and Nnoitra's OTL positions deepened, Cuulhorn looked over to the other side of the camp.

"Ah, Barrigan-sama is finished as well. Just what I'd expect form him."

Little did anyone know, Barrigan had no intention f staying in a tent…

The second Espada had in fact found his way into the upstairs bedroom of Aizen's cabin. Seeing as Aizen's were only a small group, they were only using the downstairs accommodation, and the old Espada could stay upstairs without being detected. And he was sure Yammy wouldn't mind having the three man tent to himself. Anyone with half a brain cell knew he needed it.

Besides, he had an excellent view from up here. He could look down on each of the campsite's residents and they wouldn't even know.

Downstairs, Aizen was busy giving his and Gin's bedroom more of a home-touch.

"After all, we're going to be here for two whole weeks," Aizen said, as he placed a framed photograph of Ulquiorra on the dresser. "It would nice to make it feel a little more like home. Don't you think, Gin?"

"Yes, Aizen-sama," said Gin from the other side of the room, where he was closing the curtains for the night. It was a very nice room complete with ensuite bathroom. Had Aizen had no ego, he would have felt guilty staying in such luxurious accommodation, while his Espada stayed in tents. Even the cabin all seven females were staying in was a standard one. Nothing on this. But it was the Espada who were here to learn a lesson, not him.

Aizen looked over to the four-poster, king-sized bed. Seeing as it was the only bed in the room, he and Gin would have to share, but it wasn't too bad. Besides the bed was more than big enough for the both of them, and it wasn't like they'd never shared a bed before.

"Well Gin," began Aizen. "I think it's time for bed. We all have a big day ahead of us. I'll go and tell the others that its time for lights out."

As he made his way out of the bedroom, Aizen noticed Tousen and Wonderweiss sharing the bunk bed in the room up the hall. Originally, Wonderweiss was to be sharing a tent with Grimmjow, but Kaname insisted against it much to Gin's dismay.

Aizen walked out into the night, noticing that most of his Arrancar were already in their tents. Many could be heard talking or arguing.

"Enough talk," Aizen said, and the voices quickly hushed, likely having not known their leader was there.

Aizen began making a round through the campsite.

"Zommari, that had better not be smoke I see coming form your tent," he said as he came past. "And whose tent is this?" he asked, giving a crudely shaped excuse for a tent a slight nudge.

"Ours, so don't knock it down," a distinctive voice came from within.

"Ah Grimmjow, say no more."

Aizen continued along, before finding two of his Espada sitting outside their tent.

"Ulquiorra, Nnoitra," he said. "Its time for bed."

"We're not going in," said Nnoitra.

"Cuulhorn's in there," explained Ulquiorra.

"All spread out in the middle," added Nnoitra.

"We're sleeping outside," they said in unison.

Aizen laughed. "Now now, Ulquiorra, Nnoitra. That type of attitude is the reason we're all on this camp. Now go and join your tent mate, or I will be cross."

Both Espada gave Aizen a pained expression, before proceeding into the tent. Before he left, Aizen was sure he could see the tent bulging at both sides, due to both Espada being edged as far from Cuulhorn as they could get, but he let it slide. It wasn't like he could blame them, after all. He picked up a bucket of water and doused the campfire, rendering the campsite dark, before heading back to his cabin.

"Goodnight all," he said. "Lets see what the next few weeks bring…"

* * *

**Kris: So there you go, my pretties. Chapter five will be up in a few days, be sure to review!**

**Sidenote: Is anyone else like REALLY wanting to see Hell chapter?**


	5. Point of Limited Return

**Kris: Thankyou to all my wonderful reviewers! And don't we all feel sorry for Ulquiorra and Nnoitra xD It makes my day to get onto my email account and read new reviews on this story. I really appreciate it, guys ;) Just putting it out there: I now have an LJ account, so go to my profile and follow the LJ link if you wanna stalk me~I'll stalk you as well, cause I'm kinda lonely on LJ . xD**

* * *

**Chapter Five: Point of Limited Return**

Judging by the sound of the birds chirping outside, it seemed that day had broken. Nnoitra yawned and opened his eyes, only to see one of the last things he wanted to see. A cow. Sticking its head right into the tent.

"Moo," it said.

Seeing as farm animals such as cows are one of our dear Nnoitra's two major fears…things did not go down well.

"AAAAARRRRGHHH! COW!"

At once he was out of the tent, yelling and hollering up and down the campsite, effectively waking everyone else up. This included Ulquiorra, who awoke to something perhaps far more horrendous than that of his spoonly tent mate; it seemed that sometime during the night, Cuulhorn had chosen to roll over and was now very much next to the quarto Espada. Ulquiorra exited the tent at much the same pace as Nnoitra had, though with much less noise. However, his hidden inner emotional trauma had just risen to a new level.

Ten minutes later, all were gathered on the circle of logs around the campfire.

"Now as I informed you before, I am a naturalist," Carp said as he paced around the group. "And therefore your food is of a natural quality. Observe the rich organic material Mother Nature has bestowed us with!"

He pulled the blanket off a large crate, to reveal a vast assortment of farm grown goods, consisting of fruits, vegetables, rice, bread and eggs.

"This will be your organic diet for the next two weeks," Carp said.

"Where's the meat?" asked Yammy, and several others murmured in agreement.

"Meat? Oh, we don't eat animals. We live off the land and in harmony with the animals, just as Mother Nature intended."

"What are the cows for then?" asked Nnoitra.

"Well our milk has to come from somewhere, doesn't it?" Carp responded. "You will find that here at Camp Happy-Clap, nature is a virtue. Why even those tents you're staying in are made of a rather exclusive brand of hemp."

Halibell noticed a rather excited look flash in Zommari's eyes and she could only guess the idea he'd just conceived.

After breakfast time passed, the Arrancar and camp assistants, along with Aizen, Gin and Tousen headed back in the direction of the meeting hall. This involved trekking perilously through the field of cows much to Nnoitra's horror. However, the meeting hall was not their destination. Carp lead them out into another open field, and towards the forest. Just as Ulquiorra thought they were about to enter to bowels of the woods though, Carp stopped and turned to them.

"This is where your first teamwork task will take place," Carp announced.

"Here?" a number of the Arrancar asked, looking around.

There really wasn't much to suggest the area could be used for a teamwork task, except perhaps the two steel ropes positioned about a foot off the ground. They originated from one common parent tree before stemming off into two separate ways to two other trees, forming a V shape between the three.

"Yes," said Carp. "Just here. Hanri, care to explain?"

Hanri stepped forward and smiled cheerfully at all who were gathered before beginning. "Your task today is to all stand balanced out on these chords."

The Arrancar nodded. It sounded easy enough.

"Simultaneously."

Easy.

"For three seconds without anyone touching the ground."

How hard could it be?

"That sounds stupid!" Nnoitra blurted out.

"You could always come and feed Daisy the cow with me," Hanri offered.

"No, no, no it's alright! This activity doesn't sound stupid at all, I'll do it!"

"I don't see why I have to partake in such an unbecoming task," Barrigan said, frowning.

"That choice is not yours," Hanri said, smiling sweetly through his blonde bangs. "Now lets start. The sooner we begin, the sooner we finish!"

Half an hour later, he Arrancar were all standing around the two steel cords. It had taken them that long to whine and argue about who did or didn't want to do the exercise, but in the end it wasn't like anyone had a choice.

"Lets do this!" said Lilynette, one of the few enthusiastic partakers.

As if on cue, most Arrancar began climbing onto the steel ropes. Needless to say, it didn't work. With the sheer unbalance of the majority of them, along with other Arrancar shaking the roper either unintentionally or on purpose, disaster was just waiting to strike and within a number of minutes, it was hard to find a single Arrancar who was not bickering with another or stating why their plan of action was superior.

"You're not leaving here until you complete the task successfully," Carp's voice sounded over all the noise.

Starrk sighed. This was going to be a long day…

* * *

Some time later…

"That was terrible!" was all Carp could say. "I've had school groups who could do it in two minutes flat, and how long did it take you lot?"

"Uhhh…"

"More than three hours, and that was before I intervened."

"However," spoke Aizen. "Both Carp and I knew this would happen."

Carp nodded. "With your relations as they are now, it was to be expected. For that is why you are on this camp. That was just an exercise to use as an example for our assistants."

The assistants were nodding amongst themselves.

"You guys really suck at simple instruction, don't you?" Hanri said with a laugh.

"So what we're going to do," said Carp. "Is pretend none of us have ever met. We'll sit in a circle and go around, saying one thing we like, one thing we don't like, and something else about ourselves. This way, we can get to know each other all over again, but this time without our predigests."

Within the next few minutes, all Arrancar were forcibly seated in a circle, which looked more like a square.

"I don't fit in anywhere," Luppi whined, frantically running around the circle, looking for a place to fit in.

"Not next to me, there's no room!" Grimmjow objected, spreading himself out slightly to close the already small gap between himself and Sun-Sun.

"Where do I fit in then?" Luppi complained, nearly throwing a temper tantrum.

Aizen sighed. "Everyone spread out and make room for Luppi."

Grudgingly, all Arrancar shuffled back slightly, allowing Luppi space between Ggio and Szayel.

"Who would like to begin?" Carp asked.

There was silence.

"Nobody? Well then I guess I'll start…My name is Carpasai Hayashini. I like sun showers and root juice. I dislike industrial areas and people who delve into other's business. I am a naturalist, but you already knew that. Hanri's turn."

"My name is Okashanri Ososhini," Hanri said, grinning broadly at everyone. "I like seven sugars in my tea, nakey-time and hiding things. I don't like weird people~" he said, putting emphasis on the last statement.

"Bit of a hypocrite," Ggio murmured to Luppi.

"Oh, and I'm good at cooking and packing lunches. I might look cute and cuddly and uke-like. But beware," Hanri gave a wink. "Sometimes all is what not seems. Someone you don't suspect may be calling the shots. For all you know, I might just be talking to the corporate, approving memos, leading workshops, remembering birthdays…and if get on my wrong side…? Well…I'll be climbin' in yo windows and snatchin-"

"That's enough, Hanri," Carp said, with a raised hand. "Don't get too carried away."

"Oh right, sorry," Hanri laughed, rubbing his back. "It seems like I spend too much time on the internet."

"Right then," said Carp. "Now that Hanri and I have done our part, its you guy's turn. Lets begin with you over there…Nnoitra was it?"

Nnoitra looked up. "Don't wanna," he said, before looking down and using a stick to draw patterns in the dirt.

"Then I'm sure Daisy will listen to whatever you have to say," Gin said with a grin.

"Fine!" sighed Nnoitra, exasperatedly. "I don't like-"

"Name first!" Aizen interrupted. "We're supposed to not know each other, remember?"

"Fine. My name is Nnoitra."

"Hi, Nnoitra," chorused Yammy and Aaroniero.

"Shut up. Lets see…I like squashing things, smashing things, throwing them to the ground, blood, screaming, beating up Tesla, throwing things, blowing things up, fighting and squirrels."

"Squirrels?" Starrk questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up. I don't like…Grimmjow."

"Hey!" Grimmjow yelled from across the circle.

"Now, now," Carp said, breaking up any imminent fight. "We're not supposed to know each other, remember."

"Then I don't like the loser sitting over there, with that ridiculous blue hair."

"It's not as ridiculous as your face!" Grimmjow snapped back.

Nnoitra swiftly pulled himself to his full height, gangling at well over two metres. "What you sayin' bout my face?"

"NNOITRA! GRIMMJOW! Enough." Tousen said, using his outside voice.

However, seeing as it came from Tousen, it was ignored as Grimmjow also stood, glaring at Nnoitra.

"Don't think I've forgotten," Nnoitra sneered. "Don't think I've forgotten that incident with the catnip."

As Grimmjow made for Nnoitra, Aizen also stood up, easily blocking Grimmjow from ploughing into Nnoitra.

"You don't want me getting cross now, do you boys?" Aizen asked, eyeing them both.

The two Espada shook their heads frenetically and returned to their seats.

"Next," said Carp.

"I'm Lilynette," the young part-Espada introduced herself.

"Hi Lilynette."

"Oh hey! I like pissing people off, and inventing weird ways to wake people up. I don't like boring things or yuck food."

"Next," Carp called.

"Tia Halibell," Halibell stated.

"Hi Halibell," Yammy and Aaroniero replied. Halibell ignored them.

"I like not being surrounded by idiots. I dislike overbearing men. I analyse things that would go over most people's heads."

"Interesting," Carp observed. "Next."

Next was Zommari. He just sat there.

"Ummm..next?" Carp said, looking at him.

Zommari suddenly looked up and out at the field before them. He stood abruptly and pointed out. "Silver Tree Banana Monster Fish!" he said hurriedly, causing all others to look out to the field as well.

"Huuh?" questioned Yammy. "I don't see nothing."

"That's 'cause Zommari is the only one who can," Apache said rolling her eyes. "It's a hallucination. He's high again."

"No, wait…I see it too," Aaroniero exclaimed, heads bopping up and down the tank in excitement.

"You do?" Mila-Rose asked, looking across to him.

"Hahaha, no I was kidding. He's just high, everyone. He smoked our tent before we came here."

"I was wondering where your tent had gotten to," said Gin.

"Ah crap...I just realized...where the hell will we sleep tonight," Aaroniero groaned.

"We have plenty of spare tents," Tatsuki assured.

"Next then," said Carp.

The rest of the introductions lasted the greater part of an hour, before ending with Starrk.

"I don't like being woken up in weird, stupid ways and I don't like stupid and bothersome tasks," he said. "And I fail to see how this discussion had anything to do with teamwork.

Other Arrancar murmured before Carp spoke up.

"But it had all to do with teamwork! What has just happened here will be the roots of what will follow!"

"Umm…what?"

"This camp is not to punish you."

"But it seems like a punishment," said Ulquiorra, shuddering.

"But its not," said Aizen. "You all bought this upon yourselves, yes. But this camp is primarily about strengthening friendships and confronting fears. And that is what each of you will have the opportunity to do. Now it is getting well into the afternoon. Time to head back to the camp. You will be given some free time to think about what has happened on our camp so far."

* * *

So apparently, now was free time. But no one was really thinking about the camp so far. The Arrancar occupied themselves by swimming in the pool, going tree climbing, or just sitting around in the afternoon sun.

"You gonna go in the pool?" a dripping Grimmjow asked Ulquiorra.

"Maybe later…" the Quarto replied, from his seat beside the pool.

"Why not now? You've got swimmers on and stuff."

"I just don't see why I need to right now," Ulquiorra answered truthfully. He'd prefer to take his swim later, when there were less idiots (ie. Aizen, Gin, Grimmjow, Szayel, Tesla, Luppi, Ggio and Nnoitra) wallowing around the pool.

"Everyone, try pushing Ulquiorra into the pool!" Nnoitra declared loud enough for everyone within the vicinity to hear.

Soon enough, Ulquiorra was being chased around the pool by Nnoitra, Grimmjow and Szayel, before the three managed to corner him and throw him into the pool.

"Do you mind?" Aaroniero snapped, as he was splashed with water.

Grimmjow stared at the other Espada. Aaroniero shirtless had to be the weirdest thing he had ever seen. While there was the toned, muscled torso of a human appearing man, it still had the tank head upon it, with both heads bobbing up and down.

"Got a problem?" Aaroniero asked, realising he was being stared at. "Not checking me out, are you?"

"Hell no," Grimmjow said, quickly looking away as a disgruntled looking and soaking wet Ulquiorra pulled himself out of the pool.

Aizen then found it appropriate to reprise his 'Old McDonald' number from the train.

"And on that farm he had a Szayel~!" he sang tunefully.

"Oh yay!" an enthused Szayel cried out, ecstatic to be included in Aizen's little song.

"With a gay, gay here and a gay, gay there~"

Szayel frowned. "That is not a sound, Aizen-sama."

"But it's true, hey?" Ggio questioned.

Szayel shrugged, "Heh. Can't always argue."

Aizen continued his song. "And on that farm he had a Halibell~"

Halibell's eyes narrowed as though daring Aizen to continue.

"With a jiggle, jiggle here and a jiggle, jiggle there~"

WHACK

Aizen finally received what had been coming for him ever since he thought to put an Espada twist on the preschool song.

"Oh, sorry…" he said as he rubbed his cheek. "Got a bit carried away…"

"And it wont happen again, will it?" Halibell questioned, glaring at him.

"No! No, of course not…"

Halibell shook her head, leaving the pool area as Luppi and Ulquiorra began arguing and Nnoitra and Grimmjow egged them on. Arriving back in the campsite area, she took a seat by the campfire, next to Starrk.

"Are you going to be doing any of the activities?" she asked.

Starrk shrugged. "Just sitting by the campfire is an activity for me," he said.

"Where's Lilynette?"

"She's hanging out in the cabin with your fraccion."

"Ahh…" said Halibell looking out to the pool area, where Aaroniero was now joining in the recently resumed chase for Ulquiorra. "I can't say I blame her…so what are you doing?"

Starrk glanced up to his fellow Espada. He knew her well enough to know she was not exactly asking what he was doing per se. That answer was quite obvious; he'd been sitting here since they'd gotten back from the teamwork exercises. The question quite easily rephrased itself in Starrk's mind. _'What are you thinking?'_

"I'm not sure…" he said, shifting into a more comfortable sitting position. "I think…that this place seems a bit off."

Halibell nodded. "So you've noticed it too?"

"Yeah…I don't know what it is, but something seems off…"

Halibell smiled inwardly, happy that there was at least one other person on the camp who wasn't a complete idiot. "Shall we go for a walk?"

* * *

**The Journal of Keigo Asano **

_**Day 1**_

_So today was the first day of the camp thing Tatsuki, Mizurio, Chizuru and I are helping out with. The group of people are a bit strange. They fight a lot too. Some of them aren't too bad though, like the guy Mizurio and I are sharing a tent with. Starrk, I think his name is. He doesn't talk much though, and it makes things kinda awkward._

_But the camp itself is strange too. The food is organic, the campfire is organic, the tents are organic, EVERYTHING is organic. And that Carp guy…I don't know what his go is, but I was wandering around some time after lunch and he was just STANDING there, wearing NOTHING. I swear he could blind someone like that._

_Mizurio is calling me to go swimming now. Apparently, we're gonna try and chase that emo guy and push him in the pool. I'll keep you posted on anything else that happens on this…camp…_

_-Keigo Asano_

* * *

"I'm not sure if we're supposed to be here…"

"Who cares? We'll keep quiet."

Somehow, Starrk and Halibell had found themselves within the site's reception office.

"Maybe we can find some answers in here…" Starrk said, opening a draw.

However, there was nothing other that stationary equipment.

"Maybe in here…" Halibell said, locating a nearby filing cabinet.

She opened the draw, only to find a number of old documents, records and newspaper clippings.

"What are those?" Starrk asked, noticing Halibell's eyes widening as she read them through.

Starrk walked over and began reading over her shoulder. The records displayed invoices of groups and guests who had signed into the campsite. However, it seemed very few if any at all, had signed out. Newspaper clippings cited on how many had gone 'missing' at Camp Happy-Clap or had merrily 'decided to take residence within the woods'.

Halibell glanced across to Starrk, sternly. He skimmed over the records and clippings again, before returning her gaze.

"…What could this mean?" she asked him, thinking it couldn't be what the evidence implied.

"It means exactly what it sounds like," Starrk replied. "Many of people who've come to this camp have never returned…"

* * *

**Kris: Next chapter, things start getting more interesting. Review your thoughts! That teamwork exercise they did on the chords was modled after an exercise I did on yr 11 camp. We epically failed at it too, just like the Arrancar and the instructer was saying how her yr 3s could do it in minutes...xD  
****Their Camp Happy-Clap campsite is based on the yr 11 camp as well. We too were far from the proper accomadation and on the other side ofa field of cows...I think I might draw a picture of what Carp and Hanri look like, so you guys can get a better idea. Don't worry; they'll be in clothes ;) IS ANYONE ELSE TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH 'LAST MOMENT' BY SPYAIR (song in new Bleach closing)? If so, you should check out some of their other songs. Liar and Incomplete are quite awesome as well…all their songs are awesome :)**


	6. There's No Such Thing as Ghosts

**Kris: Thankyouuuu doodle808, rachi-kun, Summer. ice7, PhantoMNiGHT, YokoTenshi-chan, Grimmjow's girl, Aizen on a firetruck and Rhirhirhi. Your reviews make my world go 'round~**

**When you (or anyone else) next review, please accept your choice of hug from Aizen, Aaroniero, Ggio or Hanri (more characters will be unlocked and available for hugging as more chapters come out).**

* * *

**Chapter Six: There's No Such Thing As Ghosts**

It was Sunday morning. Sunday was the break day. A quiet and peaceful time to relax and enjoy the restfulness of the campsite. Until of course, Aizen was up and going.

"EVERYBODY RELAX!" he shouted as he paced the campsite. All Arrancar instantly cursed whoever had given him the megaphone he was currently using. "TODAY IS YOUR DAY OFF, SO REST AND RELAX. ENJOY THE WONDERFUL PEACE AND QUIET YOU HAVE."

"Maybe we could if you'd shut up, you idiot!" Starrk retorted, but the damage was already done.

Aizen had already successfully disrupted the peace he was so encouraging of.

"How did you sleep?" Ggio asked, yawning as his tent mate sat up beside him.

"Well enough," replied Luppi, wiping the sleep from his eyes. "Although…late last night I kept hearing this sound from outside. I was wondering if it could have been one of the others getting up to take a piss, but it was out there for a while."

"A crunching sound?" inquired Ggio.

Luppi nodded.

"I heard that too…"

Before the two Arrancar could exchange any more words, the tent flapped opened and Gin entered.

"What's the latest on Tousen?" Luppi asked.

"I heard him up late last night," replied Gin as he took a seat, handing a can of coke to both Luppi and Ggio (stolen from Aizen's personal fridge), before taking one for himself. "He was walking through the cabin and talking to Wonderweiss. I think I saw him hovering through the room at one stage."

"How scary…" remarked Ggio, as he cracked open his can.

"But that's not the problem," continued Gin. "What we need to do is prove to Aizen that he is a ghost, and for that we need a plan."

"What kind of plan?" Luppi pondered.

Gin's eyes narrowed even more than usual, and his grin grew. "A deadly one."

"Deadly…" Ggio shifted uncomfortably.

"Well I haven't actually come up with it yet…" admitted Gin. "But we need more leads and I can't get them on my own. That is where you two come in…"

* * *

As much as Carp made the campsite out to be a nature virtue, it didn't stop the Arrancar from discovering a not-so-secret showering facility not for from the campgrounds.

"If even one of you thinks about stealing my clothes while I'm in here…" Grimmjow said, eyeing Starrk, Keigo and Mizurio. "You're dead."

"And why would we want to take your clothes?" Starrk asked.

"Shut up," said Grimmjow. "Just don't, or I'll tell Aizen on you."

"Hey Mizurio, lets steal his clothes," Keigo whispered across to his friend.

"I heard that!" came Grimmjow's voice, as the water began running.

"I was joking!" Keigo replied quickly.

Then Aizen entered the bathroom, and the three quickly made their leave; Aizen had already begun undressing.

* * *

"Come on Master Nnoitra," Tesla said kindly. "It's easy."

He held out a clump of hay, and the horse timidly approached and began eating.

"I wont!" said Nnoitra, who was keeping his distance a number of metres back.

"You'll never get over your fears Master Nnoitra, if you can't confront them."

"Maybe I don't wanna get over 'em," Nnoitra replied curtly. "Besides, farm animals aren't my biggest fear."

"Really?" asked Tesla. "Then what is?"

"Ha! If I told ya that Tesla, I'd have to kill ya. Now step aside, I can deal with this horse."

"You can?" Tesla said, smiling as his master approached and took a clump of hay, holding it out to the horse. However, as the horse approached, Nnoitra's sudden burst of bravery diminished, and he began backing away.

"Wait, Master Nnoitra," said Tesla. "You can do it!"

He came over and placed his smaller handover that of the taller Arrancar, as the horse began munching.

"There we go," said Tesla, with a gentle smile. "Not so bad, is it?"

Nnoitra couldn't agree less.

"Aaarrrghh!" he said. "It keeps eating more!"

And he was off. Tesla sighed, and stroked the horse.

"Looks like it's just you and I, Mandy."

* * *

"…So people go missing on this camp? As in abducted?"

"I wouldn't jump straight to that conclusion just yet, but it seems that way."

Lilynette frowned, looking at her feet as she and Starrk wandered the outskirts of the campsite sometime after lunch. Starrk was recounting to her the events of last night, and what he and Halibell had discovered in the reception office.

"I knew something didn't seem right about this place…" Lilynette said. "I don't know what it is…maybe it had something to do with us having to stay out here rather than the main accommodation."

Starrk shrugged. "Hey, at least you're not sharing a tent with that Keigo kid. He makes just as much noise asleep while awake…"

The two paused momentarily to spectate as said boy ran across the field of cows after Grimmjow, shouting something incoherent.

Lilynette laughed. "Sucks for you, hey Starrk?"

A voice sounded somewhere closer to the campsite, and the two turned to see Apache.

"Hey Lilynette," she called. "Wanna go swimming?"

"Sure!" Lilynette called back. "Are you coming too Starrk?"

Starrk shook his head. "Nah, I think I'll pass."

"Suit yourself," Lilynette said with a shrug, before running off to join Apache.

"Lilynette."

She turned to meet Starrk's call.

"I know I said not to jump straight to conclusion…but try to be careful."

Lilynette nodded. "You be careful too, Starrk."

And she was gone.

* * *

"We're all sick of this place already, am I right?" Szayel enquired, as he paced the forest clearing and eyed his two companions.

"Yes," responded Aaroniero, casting Zommari a side glance. "The idiot smoked our tent again. If it rains, our stuff is gonna get wet. I've requested a normal tent so hopefully it wont happen again."

Szayel nodded. "But other than that, aren't you sick of this camp?"

"I was sick of it before we even got here," replied Aaroniero. "Stupid Aizen, dragging us all the way out here."

"So what I'm proposing…" started Szayel, a grin playing across his face. "Is that we find a way to ditch this camp."

"Yes!" spoke Zommari, who had so far remained silent. "Anything to get away from that airhead Aizen."

While Aizen may have been an idiot sometimes, 'Airhead' wasn't a word that came to mind for Szayel when thinking of him. But everyone's different.

"So what we need to do," said Szayel, pausing for dramatic effect as he clenched his fist over a large piece of cloth that was apparently covering something. "Is come up with a…" he whipped the piece of cloth off whatever it may have been obscuring, revealing a whiteboard with two words clearly written across it.

The other two stared at the board blankly.

"Oh come on, now," said Szayel, placing a hand on his hip. "Don't tell me you two can't read."

"Why is there…unicorn…"

"Zommari, there is no unicorn on the board."

"Hmmm…" Aaroniero thought in his deeper, more male voice. "Are you trying to insult me, Aporro?"

""I-" began Szayel, slightly taken aback. "What?"

"Those words you have scrawled seem to look like some sort of insult to me. It may be cunningly disguised by being written in Latin, but I am smarter than that."

"Its…not written in Latin."

Male-voiced Aaroniero opened his mouth in order to retaliate, but was cut off by the less speaking, more female headish thing.

"You're an idiot!" he/she/it said to itself. "Its not Latin, its clearly Germanic, and its not an insult its merely a metaphorical, rhetorical question."

"Oh and how would you know?" the male voice snapped back, eager for an argument.

Szayel sighed. Aaroniero had been known to argue with himself in the past.

"I thought you two would at least be able to _read_ a simple sign and we'd be on with it!" Szayel snapped. "It says 'escape means'. E-S-C-A-P-E M-E-A-N-S. We are going to find or come up with a MEANS to ESCAPE from this goddamned camp. It is not an insult, or metaphorical rhetoric and does not involve unicorns. It is not written in Latin or Germanic. It is written in English or Japanese, or whatever language we're supposed to be speaking and it is a simple statement for what we are going to do. We will find or make a _means_ to _escape_. Are you with me?"

He looked to Aaroniero.

"Whenever you cook the dinner, you burn it!" Aaroniero's female voice snapped to the male-voiced half.

"At least I don't drink all our tank fluid when I get bored or thirsty," the male voice retorted.

"My _gosh_, that was _one_ _time_!"

All the while, Zommari was staring out into the wilderness.

"Silver Tree Banana Monster Fish…it's happening…" he kept repeating to himself.

_Apparently not… _Szayel answered his own question, sighing and adjusting his glasses, while resisting the urge to facepalm. It seemed this task would be a bit more difficult than first anticipated…

* * *

After dinner around the campfire was never boring when Aizen was around. After nearly two hours of enforce singalongs, Aizen decided he had business he wanted to attend to in his cabin, and left the circle around the campfire. The Arrancar and assistants had to fight back the urge to cheer. Carp had also left, back to the main accommodation a while earlier. Hanri had chosen to stay with the Arrancar for a bit, and discuss the events of the day.

"I wanted to see where the cows were coming from," said Tesla. "So I went through the paddock and ended up down at the beach…and there were lots of big rocky cliffs…I think there's caves there or something…"

"One of the entries to the caving system is by the shore of the beach," Hanri said.

"Really?" asked Grimmjow. "We should go for a look sometime."

Some of the Arrancar nodded in agreement.

"No."

The objection was definite and resounding and from Hanri, to the surprise of all.

"How come?" asked Tatsuki. "You're always all for that sort of thing."

Hanri shook his head. "There's a reason."

"What reason?" asked Ggio.

"It's a bit of an urban legend, or folklore in these parts…" Hanri began.

Whichever Arrancar may have been murmuring or silently arguing amongst themselves ceased to listen, and gaze across the crackling campfire into the abyssimal blackness of the night as Hanri continued.

"The story tells of a vengeful spirit which lurks these woods from nightfall to dawn."

"What type of vengeful spirit?" asked Apache.

Hanri shrugged. "No one knows for sure what he or it was originally…except maybe the ghost itself. Some say he was a mental patient from the old, abandoned asylum on the hill who hung himself on a cliff overlooking the campsite. Others say he worked at the old campsite, before it was Camp Happy-Clap as a janitor. Some don't even think the ghost was something of human origin to start with. But no one knows for certain, each possibility is equally likely. He sure exists though. There have been sightings. Though few who see him remain accounted for within a couple of days."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Tesla.

"Most who encounter him disappear after a few day. They are abducted by someone or something. Many go in pursuit of him, but few return."

_Those documents…_thought Halibell as she exchanged a glance with Starrk. He was thinking the same thing.

"Have you ever seen the ghost?" asked Lilynette.

"Once," responded Hanri. "It was long ago…but it's a moment that will haunt me until the day I die…"

There was silence across the campsite, save for the slight eerie moan of the wind and the chattering of Nnoitra and Keigo's teeth as the two of them huddled together.

"There are often times in the deep night that the ghost can be heard," Hanri continued, being satisfied with his dramatic pause. "There is a distinct crunching sound as it walks the soil. Sometimes it casts a batlike screech into the sky."

"We heard that last night," Keigo shuddered.

As if on cue, a ghoulish moaning began sounding from somewhere near the campsite. The Arrancar began looking around worriedly, as the moaning continued, growing louder into painfully drilling screeches.

"Its here…" said Tesla in a small voice.

The sounds suddenly stopped.

"Sorry about that," said Aizen, his head poking out of his cabin window. "I was just checking the sound system."

He was holding a CD in one hand entitled 'Night Terrors.'

"Aizen you douche!"

"What was that, Grimmjow?"

"Nothing!"

As Aizen emerged from his cabin to partake in the story telling, Hanri continued.

"It is not uncommon to find strange piles of stones and bunches of hay laying strewn in the areas it has been through."

"Blair Witch…it's the freaking Blair Witch…" Nnoitra barely managed to say, shuddering in fear as he held on to Keigo.

"As the moon's cycle becomes fuller, the ghost draws further and further inland. Full moon is its peak."

Grimmjow laughed. "Its always full moon in these types of stories."

Hanri laughed solemnly. "As you might remember, I noted how it resides in ocean-side caves. The ghost does not seem to be fond of water, so as the tides rise from the pull of the moon he is forced further inland."

"But its full moon near the end of next week!" Keigo said worriedly, as he and Nnoitra continued to clutch each other.

"Hmm…then the danger of the ghost will only heighten over your stay."

"This is stupid," said Starrk. "As if this ghost thing is real. And even if it were, why would you be scared of it? Aren't we all kind of ghosts ourselves?"

There was a long pause, before almost everyone else burst out in laughter.

"Oh Starrk," Aizen said as he wiped away a tear. "Your superb sense of humour never fails to amaze me."

"I was being serious…"

"There's no such thing as ghosts, everyone," Aizen spoke calmly. "Now it is getting late. To bed with you all!"

"But one last word," Hanri cut in. "Watch each other's backs, everyone. And your own. Never let your guard down."

* * *

As they wandered back to their tents and cabins, the Arrancar had much to discuss.

"Hahaha," laughed Luppi. "As if it's true. I don't even believe in ghosts."

"What's Tousen then?" asked Ggio.

"Oh, right…"

Elsewhere, Aizen was giving Nnoitra a pep-talk.

"Now there's no such thing as ghosts," he told the quinta Espada, who nodded sagely though didn't believe a word The Great Aizen spoke.

Tesla excitedly travelled the campsite, filling in anyone who may have missed the ghost story with the information he deemed vital.

"Ghost, hey? I'll make sure to tell you if I see it," Chizuru had said as she headed back form the showers.

"Oh great. Keigo will be clinging to me all night after hearing that sort of story. He always believes those things," Mizurio had said.

"That's a lovely story," Aaroniero had said. "Maybe I should make one up for tomorrow night."

He'd continued on as Tesla tried to convince him it was true. But the real convincing would come later in the night…

* * *

It was late in the night. Or maybe early in the morning. Aaroniero couldn't tell. All he knew was that it was dark, everyone was asleep, and he needed to pee.

He climbed out of the tent (3rd one and counting) and headed into the trees where he would…let nature take its course. So he tugged down his pants by a sturdy looking tree and began working his magic. He was nearly done when he heard what sounded like a 'crunch'. Remembering what that Tesla kid had told him, he quickly turned around. "Hello?"

Nothing.

He quickly dismissed any paranormal thoughts he's had. He didn't believe the whole 'camp ghost' story anyway. As far as he was concerned, it was just some ridiculous fisher's wife tale Hanri had come up with to try and scare everyone. If anything, the crunch he'd heard was probably Zommari following him, intent on telling him he could see that 'banana-fish monster' or whatever it was again.

Crunch

Then came a very bat-like clicking sound.

"Ulquiorra?" Aaroniero questioned.

It was a known fact that that guy had some bat in him.

There was no response, but the crunching and clicking were coming closer. And then he saw it. A glowing, cloudy white foot stepped into the clearing, closely followed by the equally cloudy, frightfully white, glowing body of what could only be one thing. And no, not the banana-fish monster. It was…

"The ghost?" Aaroniero breathed in fright.

The ghost crouched down before pulling up to it's full height and releasing a bone-chilling, bat-like screech.

"Aaaaarrrghh!" Aaroniero yelled, running back into the campsite with his pants still around his ankles, before diving into his and Zommari's tent and refusing to go back outside to finish his pee.

* * *

**Kris: WHAT IS THIS? Do we sense a PLOT forming? If you didn't sense one starting at the end of last chapter, I hope you do now…as usual, review and I'll love you long time…but not like that…**

**I've been reading a lot of Hetalia fanfiction lately. Still can't believe Ulquiorra and Italy have the same Japanese VA. I honestly can't think of two characters that are more contrasting. Think of Ulquiorra saying "allow me to show you true despair" before going into his 2****nd**** resureccion. Now think of Italy saying "Pastaaa~" and Nekotalia. Exactly. I know. WHAT. Daisuke Namikawa you are so talented and I want to marry you. Screw language barriers and other unimportant things 3**

**See you soon~**


	7. IIIIIIIts…Spooning Time!

**Kris: Ugh, I'm sooooo sorry this took so long . I hope this nice long chapter makes up for it. School was just so busy and I haven't updated in forever. I need to organise myself better and maybe I can update this more often. I'm in my final year of school, so there's heaps of work. It will all be over in November though. And don't worry; I'm not going to ditch this story. Big thanks to all of you who've reviewed and stuck with the story so far!**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: IIIIIIIts…Spooning Time!**

"I saw it…its real, I really saw it!" Aaroniero spoke in a hurried voice to the group who were gathered for an early morning bushwalk.

"Whatever," Grimmjow said, "You probably just saw some animal and instantly assumed it was the ghost, 'cause you're a pussie."

"Aaroniero-san was just as sceptic as you before," Tesla pointed out before the ninth Espada had time to retaliate, "But after he went into the bushes tonight, he completely believes it. He saw it."

Grimmjow chuckled to himself, "Well its stupid. Ghost stories are made to scare humans, not Arrancar like us, and definitely not Espada."

He looked over to Nnoitra and then to Aaroniero, "In fact you two don't even deserve to be called 'Espada' for believing in and being scared of something so stupid and fake…"

Nnoitra suddenly bent down and grabbed a highly venomous snake, thrusting in towards Grimmjow.

"Take it back," he growled.

Grimmjow was slightly shocked as the spoonly Arrancar dangled the deadly reptile dangerously close to his body.

"Sh-shit, Nnoitra," he stammered as he held his hands protectively in front of his body, "Don't need to get all hasty now, haha…"

"Who's hasty?" Nnoitra questioned, bending lower over his rival, wielding the snake as though it were a sword pressed toward his enemy's throat.

In his haste to escape being bitten by the reptile, Grimmjow quickly attempted to bend backwards, while shuffling away from Nnoitra at the same time. This only resulted in him falling on his ass rather inelegantly.

"Know your place…" Nnoitra spat, as he flung the snake far off into the forest, "_Sexta_."

Grimmjow narrowed his eyes, glaring at the taller Espada, before pouncing on him altogether, in a confusing jumble of arms, legs, and forest creatures.

Starrk yawned as the two continued to brawl. Aizen would probably be coming to break them up soon enough, as always. He lazily glanced to the front of the group, where he sighted Barrigan and Carp deep in discussion. The two seemed to be bonding quite well, so it seemed. Go figure.

"Hey, look I found something!" Aaroniero's voice sounded, distracted from his recount of his terrifying experience by something else.

Tesla, Lilynette, and Szayel hurried over to see what he'd found, ignoring Nnoitra and Grimmjow's squabble in the background.

The creature was rather odd—it appeared to be a cross between some sort of marsupial possum and amphibious animal.

"What is it?" Tesla wondered.

"I don't know…" Lilynette replied, "Poke it."

Szayel lifted a stick from the ground and probed the animal's side with it. The animal made a sound that bordered something between a gulp and a hiss.

"Gyaaa!"

They each took several steps back.

"Well its alive," observed Szayel.

"What if its evil?" whimpered Aaroniero.

"Well I'm going to catch it!" came Grimmjow's voice.

Capturing the strange creature wouldn't be too hard for said Espada, had he not been stuck in a headlock by his gorky opponent.

The animal hissed and hopped away.

"Damnit, Nnoitra!"

The two continued to harass one another, until Aizen came along and forced Grimmjow to the back of the pack, whilst Nnoitra had to stay up the front with him

* * *

Ggio crawled out from his hiding spot within a log, quickly scouting the surrounding area, before speaking into his walky-talky.

"Target has been spotted," he reported into the small radio-like device, "Heading over to the shower block."

There was a brief pause before Luppi's head poked out from behind a nearby tree.

"On to it," he spoke through his own mouthpiece, "Over."

He quickly darted after Tousen and behind another tree as quietly as he could. Not that he really needed to hide, as Tousen couldn't even see. However, that only meant all Tousen's other senses were 'specially keen.

The dark-skinned man drew to an abrupt halt and sniffed the air.

Luppi held his breath and moved as little as possible.  
"Ichimaru's up to mischief again…" Tousen noted to himself, before picking up his pace and continuing down to the showers.

_Weird__…_Luppi shuddered.  
"I hear him," came Gin's voice. The ex-Shinigami captain was waiting in one of the shower compartments, "I think he's headed for the one next to me…"

Sure enough, a rattling 'click' was heard as Tousen entered the shower adjacent to Gin's. Not long later, the sound of a tap being turned, followed by gushing water indicated Tousen had commenced his shower.

"Okay, begin coming over," Gin quietly instructed his partners.

"Yes sir."

"And I'll listen for anything unusual or ghostlike…"

Meanwhile in the cubicle to Gin's other side, Nnoitra was also showering.

"Your love, your love, your love is my drug~ Your love, your love, your love~"

Gin frowned. Hopefully the gangly Espada would shut up soon enough, or he wouldn't be able to hear Kaname. He opened his mouth to tell Nnoitra to shut up, but Tousen beat him to it.

"STOP YOUR ATTEMPT AT SINGING IMEADIATLY!"

Seeing as it was Tousen, his outburst was barely heard over the sound of the water. However, it _did_ extract a 'huh?' from Nnoitra, who bought himself to his full height (he'd been crouching in order to fit under the showerhead) and peer over the wall.

"Eh? Gin. Why're ya showering in your clothes?"

Gin's blood froze as his ears detected the Tousen shutting off the water faucet.

"Ichimaru's in here?" he questioned.

_Ah __crap__, _thought Gin.

He hurriedly burst out of the shower and tore out of the bathroom block, all while repeating into his mouthpiece, "Abort, abort, abort!"

* * *

Tatsuki sighed. Activity-wise, the day had been as enjoyable as it was progressive. Which wasn't much at all. They'd had to do some teamwork activity that was something along the lines of tying ropes and what not. The activity had only resulted in many petty-fights breaking out (many involving or triggered by Grimmjow) and that weird tank-headed guy becoming hopelessly tangled in five different ropes. Keigo and Mizurio were still working on untangling him, even two hours later. Tatsuki was unsure how the guy had come to such a state, but she had her suspicions.

"For tonight's dinner," announced Hanri, "I have been granted permission to cook you up a wonderful forest stew!"

He pulled back a random curtain to reveal a simmering pot filled with a greyish brown, sloppy liquid.

"…Eww…" was the prominent reaction from the Espada.

"Don't give me those faces," scolded Hanri, "This stuff is good for you. Now come on ahead and help yourselves to bowls and cutlery, so you can serve yourselves."

The Arrancar grudgingly cooperated, forming a disjointed line in order to get their helping of dinner. Though it wasn't long before chaos broke out.

"HEY LOOK NNOITRA, IT'S YOUR BROTHER! NNOITRA!"

Nnoitra's head slowly turned to where Luppi was waving a spoon joyously at him. His expression became that of utmost horror.

"What's wrong, Nnoitra?" Luppi asked, approaching the Espada. "You scared?"

Nnoitra took several steps back as the former Espada approached him with the feeding device.

"Well?" Luppi grinned slyly.

"I-I'm n-not afraid of cutlery! N-not at all!" Nnoitra managed as he continued to back away.

"Looks to me like you are."

"Nnoitra, what have I told you during our counselling sessions?" Szayel queried.

"N-not to b-be s-scared of cutlery or f-farm animals?"

"Exactly! These fears of yours are totally irrational and you need to face them in order to overcome them."

"Ah, so cutlery is your other major fear, Master Nnoitra."

"Shut up, Tesla!" Nnoitra shouted as he was chased around the campfire by Luppi and the spoon.

"So that's why he screams like a girl every time he sees himself in the mirror…" Mila-Rose realised.

"That's correct," nodded Halibell.

"Then why the hell does he wear that giant spoon on his head?" Apache asked.

"A complex phycology, I believe," Szayel replied, as the group observed Luppi, now joined by Gin, chase after Nnoitra with hands full of knives, forks and spoons, "You see, Nnoitra himself harbours great fear for cutlery. He seems to think everyone else has that same ludicrous fear, so he dresses himself as a spoon to appear more intimidating or threatening."

"Well that's just stupid," said Lilynette, as Nnoitra was tackled to the ground and Aizen hurried over to break up the rally.

Once dinner was consumed, Aizen insisted on more campfire songs. Gradually, the Arrancar retired to their cabins and tents, some more warily than others. Soon, only a small group lay around the fire, watching as the glowing gold white flames danced in the moonlight.

"Well," Ulquiorra turned to Nnoitra, "I'm heading off to bed. Aizen will get mad if we don't."

"You're right," Nnoitra said, as he stood.

If the camp had done anything productive so far, it was putting Ulquiorra and Nnoitra on ever so slightly friendlier terms. This was probably due to the fact that both Espada were enduring a common traumatic experience at the moment, in the shape of their third tent mate.

As the two of them proceeded back to their tent, they realised in horror that Cuulhorn had headed off to bed about an hour before and was therefore in the tent awaiting them. Though when they drew open the tent, they saw that he was closer to the side, rather than spread out in the middle like before.

"I take it you're no more willing to sleep in the centre than I?" Ulquiorra assumed.

"If you're on the level of 'rather give Szayel a sponge bath', then yeah…"

Ulquiorra frowned. If they didn't sleep in the tent, Aizen would find out for sure. He always knew these things. And an angry Aizen wasn't something Ulquiorra wanted to face. So he quickly surveyed his surroundings to ensure no one else would hear his out-of-character suggestion, before catching eyes with the less-ranked Espada.

"…Then lets both squash up to the opposite side of the tent. We'll spoon."

"Huh? Spoon?" Nnoitra suddenly had a very worried look on his face.

"Not that sort of spoon," assured Ulquiorra, mentally face-palming, "Spooning as in…you know…two people bunched up together tightly, similar to two spoons when stacked on one another."

"Ah, spooning!" declared Nnoitra, loud enough for everyone within a twenty metre radius to hear.

"Yes, yes, spooning," Ulquiorra said, frantically trying to hush Nnoitra. He'd never live it down if others were to find out about his desperate suggestion that went against everything he'd built his reputation on. Especially if Grimmjow found out.

"Right," said Nnoitra, as he grinned down on Ulquiorra, "So do you wanna be the big spoon or the little spoon?"

Ulquiorra raised an odd eyebrow up at the much taller Espada, "Is that some sort of trick question?"

"Neh, I was just messin' with ya. Lets go."

The fact they were both willing to do it only displayed the reality of their traumatising nightly situation.

The two Espada crept into the tent, zipping it shut and bunching up to the furthest side they could from Cuulhorn, Nnoitra's back facing said Arrancar, and Ulquiorra comfortably wedged between his spoonly partner and the wall of the tent. They weren't completely touching, so they weren't properly spooning, but that didn't matter. It probably still looked totally homo, but no one else would find out. Except maybe Cuulhorn, but he wouldn't care. That, or he'd want to 'join their love'. God forbid.

Close to half an hour went past, before Nnoitra spoke, "Oi Ulquiorra, you asleep?"

Ulquiorra sighed and gave him a glare even though it wouldn't be seen due to the dark, "Not anymore."

"Do you believe the whole ghost story?"

Ulquiorra gave the question thought for a moment, before replying, "I'm not sure…"

"So not a straight out 'no' like Grimmjow?"

"Grimmjow's an idiot. My opinion on the matter is neither his nor yours. I would need more proof before making my decision."

"Ah, right…" said Nnoitra, "And from what we know, Aaroniero is the only one whose properly seen it…"

"Which doesn't make the situation any more believable," said Ulquiorra, "If anything, he probably passed a pond or something in the moonlight and saw his own reflection."

Nnoitra gave a laugh and felt on the whole, relieved. Ulquiorra was right. If there _was_ something out there, it would probably be nothing to worry about, right? He shut his eyes and fell into a comfortable sleep.

…

It couldn't have been that much longer later. Two hours at the most. Ulquiorra was wide-awake. He wasn't quite sure what urged him to not sleep; he'd been sleeping fairly soundly just before. Maybe it was the sound of Nnoitra's raspy snoring from somewhere above his ear. But then, he'd been snoring all night so far. Ulquiorra turned over uncomfortably, before an odd sound from somewhere outside the tent entered his ears. It sounded like an odd, distorted crunching…as though someone had recorded themselves walking through a field of autumn leaves, and then put it through a strange echoing sound filter to warp the sound.

His ears perked out at the sound of a bat clicking…though strain his ears as he did, it was nothing he could understand. Maybe it was a different dialect…The sound became closer before in was just outside the tent. Just as Ulquiorra was about to open his mouth and use his native language to ask the bat creature if it spoke his own particular dialect, the sound stopped.

_Hmmm__…_thought Ulquiorra after a few moments of silence, _Maybe __he__'__s__ gone__…__guess__ I__'__ll__ try __to __get __back__ to__ sleep__…_

However, just as Ulquiorra closed his eyes, the tent was given an almighty shove.

"What?"

Nnoitra was awake instantly, and blinking in the darkness.

"Ulquiorra…! What the hell was that?"

"I-I'm not sure," Ulquiorra stammered, frowning to where the shove had come from, "I'll go outside and see if I can find the source…"

No sooner had Ulquiorra's pale hand touched the zip on the tent flap, another shove came. And another. And another.

"WHAT THE HELL IS MAKING OUR TENT SHAKE?" Nnoitra hollered, as the tent continued to quaver violently, and Ulquiorra was thrown to the back of the tent from the force of yet another shove.

A vague grunt indicated that even Cuulhorn was up now, "Whaa?"

And then…the shaking stopped, leaving a puffing and panting Ulquiorra and Nnoitra, and slightly confused Cuulhorn.

"Did something happen?" the highly questionable Arrancar's voice asked through the night's blackness.

"…No," puffed Ulquiorra, adrenaline still running through his veins, "Not at all."

Cuulhorn eyed his two tent mates sceptically, taking in their dishevelled clothes, closeness and erratic breathing.

"Ohohohoh…I get it," he smiled at them.

"Eh?"

"I realised you two had gotten a bit friendlier toward one another, but I didn't think it had gone _that_ far, now I feel as though I am imposing by sharing the same tent as you. Nonetheless, you have my congratulations."

"Why thank—Wait, what?" shrieked Nnoitra, "We weren't doing _that__."_

Ulquiorra face palmed.

"Ah, so in denial, are we?" Cuulhorn laughed, "That's okay. Your secret is safe with me~"

Just as Nnoitra and Ulquiorra were about to rage, the shaking of the tent resumed. A lot more violently than before.

"Gyaaaaaa!"

The three Arrancar were tossed around the inside of the tent, not unlike ingredients in a salad bowl.

"Wh-what's that?" Nnoitra's voice sounded above the chaos, and the other two looked on.

Barely distinguishable in the night, positioned above the tent stood a crude figure, it's vaguely glowing image silhouetted into the tent by the moonlight. Its presence was hard to detect, due to the violent attack it was harnessing on the tent. But it was defiantly there, the sound of its rattling breathing sending chills down the spines of its victims as it continued its attack.  
"That's…" Ulquiorra began in shock, eyes widening.

"THE GHOST!" the other two hollered.

On cue, the ghost let loose an unearthly screech, shoving the tent the hardest yet, and sending its occupants flying out into the night.

And then it was gone.

* * *

Grimmjow laughed as he served himself breakfast.

"You're all a bunch of pussies!"

"Grimmjow…" Ulquiorra frowned.

"Though frankly I'm surprised, Ulquiorra," the blue-haired Espada continued, "I'd expect this of the other two. Not of you."

"That's because, frankly," Ulquiorra mocked him curtly, "The ghost exists."

Grimmjow and the others had listened as Nnoitra and Cuulhorn had animatedly given their recount of last night's encounter. When Ulquiorra had confirmed that most of it was true (save for the part Nnoitra had apparently made up, where Ulquiorra had run into the tent, screaming and alerting them about the ghost), most of the sceptic Arrancar had had somewhat of a shift in their beliefs on the matter. Starrk and Halibell had exchanged one of their various looks, and Halibell's fraccion had payed close and undivided attention, now appearing more cautious of their surroundings. Even Aizen had listened and was now somewhat fretting over the story.

("There's no such thing as ghosts. But even Ulqui says it's true…")

Meanwhile, Tesla grew both more excited and worried, and Gin, Luppi and Ggio stood in a small cluster, excitedly discussing something or other. Grimmjow wasn't quite sure what they were saying, but for some reason he caught Tousen's name every now and again.

_Idiots__…_he shrugged.

"I told you so," said Aaroniero, remembering his own experience.

"It's the freaking Blair ghost, I'm tellin' ya!" Nnoitra said dramatically, receiving Grimmjow's laughter as a response.

"I don't believe in ghosts," Grimmjow explained, as everyone looked his way, "And its gonna take more than a couple of dumb recounts—even if they _are_ backed up by Ulquiorra—to convince me otherwise."

And with that, he stood and headed towards the first of the day's activities, intent on finding some form of native wildlife to bother.

Little did he know…that sometimes you should be _very_ careful what you wish for.

**Next ****Time****: **Team 'Escape Means' (i.e Szayel, Zommari and Aaroniero) acquire a new member. Starrk and Halibell find another interesting piece of information, and a group of Arrancar take a late night stroll down to the shoreline…

* * *

**Kris: Yay! Chapter seven is finished! And I just realised theres a lot of Nnoitra in this chapter o.O Completely unintentional…You can expect ch. 8 pretty shortly. Originally, this chapter and ch. 8 were the same chapter…but then I got halfway through the dotpoints I had made for the chapter and realised I had reached just under 3000 words. I like to keep the chapters for this story around 2000-3000 words, so if I'd continued, the chapter would be too long compared to the rest of the chapters in the story, so I closed it at the most suitable place. I will get ch. 8 up as soon as I can ;)**

**And yes, its true that Daisuke Namikawa does indeed voice both Ulquiorra and Italy from Hetalia *A* Since then I have found out that he also voices Captain Kidd from One Piece, who is quite a different character again…talk about talent.**

**So yeah, thanks for reading and please review your thoughts on this chapter :D Reviews make me happeh~**


	8. The Future and the Past

**Kris: Heyy~ I'm on holidays now, so hopefully I'll be able to update a little more frequently over the next few weeks. BIG THANKYOU to all those who've reviewed recently – doodle808 (your reviews always make me lol xD), Cerice Belle, Alex274, HyourinmaruIce, fayfan, ReaperDuckling, inominatenoname, YokoTenshi-chan, Rin-Loves-Grimmy-and-Ulqui, and Redrosedragon18. Also to my unregistered reviewers – ****OBOYOBOYOBOYOBOY and The masked Reviewer.**

**Your reviews all make my day :D I'll make sure to try and reply to them more often as well xD The holidays gives me slightly more time. Though come 11/11/11, it will be my final HSC exam, and then I will finish school for good *A*  
Btw, as I write this I am feverish . That awesome moment when you get sick on the first day of holidays…so there may be some mistakes in this, but I will fix them.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight: The Future and the Past**

"Alright…Make sure you work together in your pairs. Remember, front is momentum and back is steering."

Keigo sighed as he turned his head from his and Tatsuki's canoe, to see that the majority of the Arrancar were failing miserably; Aaroniero and Nnoitra were doing it completely wrong and were continuously spinning their canoe in circles due to neither of them alternating their paddling. A little further along, Starrk sat lazily in his and Grimmjow's canoe whilst Grimmjow held possession of both paddles, using them to ram their boat into some of the others (namely Barrigan's). Further along still, Yammy and Ulquiorra's canoe had capsized all together due to a severe imbalance in masses. A highly disgruntled and dripping wet Ulquiorra was now clinging onto the upturned boat in effort to remain above water, whilst Yammy had sunk to the depths. No one wanted to retrieve him.  
"Ugh…this isn't working," Keigo complained.

"Well what do you suggest?" asked Tatsuki.

Keigo only facepalmed as Aaroniero called out to him.

"Hey future! Hey future boy!" the tanked Espada hollered. "Are we doing it right?"

"No! You are not! And quit calling me that!" Keigo snapped back.

The day had not been easy on the poor guy so far at all. To start, a bunch of the Arrancar were all freaked out over that ghost thing. At first Keigo thought they were only doing it to try and scare him—he's heard some strange noises in the night after all, and had sacredly snuggled himself up to the body next to him (which just happened to be a highly apathetic Starrk)—but then, even the emo had said he's seen the ghost, and Keigo had looked on as Aizen attempted to take order. But that was just the start of the day's troublesome events…

**-Sometime earlier-**

Keigo prowled the campsite searching for any Arrancar who weren't currently partaking in activities. It was his job (well not really, he had taken the matter into his own hands) to approach anyone whom wasn't engaged in a social activity and tell them to get off their ass. So far however, his attempts had proved unyielding; Starrk had just mumbled at him and gotten into a more comfortable lazing position, and Keigo decided not to bother with him.

_Hmmm…I can hear voices…_Keigo thought as he drew closer to the bushland behind the campsite, _Who could be down here, I wonder…_

He began treading warily into the woods, closer to sound of the voices, before squatting down behind a log and peering through a tuff of well-placed bushes and into the clearing before him.

The gay-looking pink-haired Espada stood addressing the tank-head and the stoner. Judging from the whiteboard that was placed behind him and the movements he made with a long twig on the ground, Keigo guessed they were coming up with some sort of escape means. Ahhh…this probably wasn't allowed…but Keigo could not help but sit and watch as the group bickered amongst themselves and the pink haired one—Szayel—became so frustrated he threw a rock, almost cracking the tank-head.

"Aaaaaaarrrrrghhhh! It burns!"

It was nearly too late when Keigo realised Aaroniero was running in his direction.

_Crap…_he thought as he hurriedly fought to stand and get out of the way. But it was to no avail. Aaroniero promptly tripped over him.

"Ooph!" Keigo huffed, as the air was roughly compressed out of his lungs.

"Oh, and what do we have here?" came Szayel's voice, as Zommari shouted something about a giraffe and climbed up a tree.

A flury of pink entered Keigo's vision as Szayel came and sat beside him.

"What might this unexpected guest be in search of?" the flamboyant Espada asked.

"Ehhh…the bathroom?"

"Oh really? And what made you think it might be out here?"

Keigo saw not alternative, but to say the first thing that popped into his mind.

"….A…Balloon!"

Szayel tilted his head, "What was that?" he then looked over to his whiteboard. "Could it be that you're openly making suggestions for our escape means?"

Keigo nodded hurriedly, "Yes! Yes, lets go with that."

"Hmmm…" Szayel stroked his chin in thought, "Ingenious…"

"Hey! He's squashed something!" Aaroniero said, as he haphazardly rolled off his victim.

Keigo rolled away to reveal a snapped and squashed jumble of twigs, which almost seemed to resemble some form of crude weaving.

"What is that?" he asked

"I think I saw Yammy working on that earlier on today…" said Aaroniero, "It was supposed to be a net to catch that ghost or something…and now the kid has ruined it…"

"Only because you didn't look where you were going and fell on top of me!" Keigo snapped in retaliation.

But the Arrancar weren't listening.

"He'll be on Yammy's hit list for this…wont he, boys?"

"Yes…" came Zommari's voice from somewhere up in the tree, "Hit list…"

"Gyaa! I don't want to be on Yammy's hit list!"

"Well I'm sure we can provide adequate shelter," Szayel considered, "Though under one condition."

"And what's that?"

Szayel lifted the twig he'd been sketching in the ground with and jabbed Keigo in the head. "That you lend us that brilliant mind of yours."

"WHAT? As in I take OUT my brain and give it to you?"

Szayel resisted the urge to facepalm, before replying, "While that would be an interesting little endeavour in itself, no. Your brain is fine where it is, I just ask that you join us in our plight to escape from this god-forsaken camp. This balloon idea of yours is a start."

"Oh…okay, well you'll need more than just a balloon. You'll need other things as well…"

As Keigo continued to chatter on about his plan, Szayel turned to the other two and began talking like an over-excited schoolgirl.

"This boy may be our future," he said gleefully.

"The future is a person?" a confused Aaroniero asked.

"Whoa…" said Zommari, "The future…"

"Fools! Why must you take everything I say literally?"

Keigo used this as an adequate distraction to try and make his escape, but it was to no avail, as his foot had become caught in the broken ghost net.

And this was what led to his current situation. He sighed. He liked this camp, and found those weird three creepy. He didn't want to be in an escape team with them. Not that he was in any position to just leave…damn ghost-catching net…

"Hey, Szayel," came Zommari's voice from the back of his and Szayel's canoe. He had sobered up considerably over the past couple of hours due to the fact he hadn't been high since yesterday. However, he _did_ have his eyes set on his and Aaroniero's new tent. Though it wasn't made of hemp like the other ones, it wasn't a problem for him, "Was that net _really_ something Yammy made? Or were you and Aaroniero just setting Future up?"

"And what would give you that impression?" Szayel questioned, "Honestly, do you really think that I would plan something like that? Really…"

* * *

"I am never going canoeing again…" was all a dripping Ulquiorra said as Grimmjow assisted him in dragging one of the said floating devices to a nearby shed.

"I thought it was fun," Grimmjow admitted, but Ulquiorra only glared.

"Don't you find it odd though?" the emo-looking Espada questioned as he and Grimmjow set the canoe down and observed as Carp ran nakedly through a nearby field.

"Of corse I do," responded Grimmjow, "I mean, its not everywhere you go that get swarmed by a naked camp-instructor."

"Not just that," Ulquiorra said, shaking his head, "This entire camp. Doesn't it seem a bit…off to you?"

"Hmm…" Grimmjow thought for a moment, "Well it all seems pretty damn stupid to me…and I don't believe in the ghost, if that's what your on about. But now that you mention it, there's something else about this place, that seems almost…"

"Regretful?"

"…Yeah, regretful…"

The two continued on pulling the canoe back into place, unaware of the skulking figure that had been laying eyes on them the entire time.

* * *

"What we need to find out," Starrk began, as he and Halibell briskly strode towards the camp's office once again, "Is where this ghost came from."

"And what its motives are," Halibell added.

It wasn't long before they reached the reception, and easily slipped past the unoccupied desk, into an office behind it.

"We'd better make this quick…" said Halibell, "It'll be dinner time soon. If we're not back in time, Aizen will do something stupid."

"You've got that right," muttered Starrk, as he began scuffling through the filing cabinets.

It wasn't long before he came across something interesting.

"Hey Halibell," he said, "Come and look at this."

Halibell wandered over to see a well-aged newspaper clipping entitled 'Owner of Local Wildlife Reserve Murdered'.

"Look at the picture," Starrk urged her.

Halibell's eyes wandered to the salient image on the clipping, before widening.

"Is that…Carp?"

Starrk shook his head, "It couldn't be. Look at the Date; Carp wouldn't have been alive back then. He mentioned before that this camp has been in his family for three generations…this would be one of his relatives," he traced his finger over the name, "Larry Mitchelson…"

Halibell eyes the news clipping's date, "This was only a few years after the camp opened. It seems this place was haunted from the start…lets see…does it say who murdered him?"

Starrk scanned the article, "No…" he glanced at the draw the clipping had come from, "But maybe, they were yet to find out…"

He shuffled through the filing cabinet once again, before withdrawing a news clipping of a similar age.

"Ah, it says here that they found the murderer. But…woah…"

"What is it?" Halibell asked, reading the article over Starrk's shoulder.

'_The culprit of last Wednesday's murder has been traced to none other than the victim's twin brother, Murry Mitchelson. Mitchelson's reasons for his actions are still unaccounted for…'_

"The Ghost…you don't suppose it could be Larry?"

Starrk shrugged. "Who knows? We'd still need more answers. What kind of revenge could Larry Mitchelson gain from abducting people as a ghost?" He searched through the draw once again, "Hmmm…it seems Larry died a couple of years later…but the disappearances and sightings of the ghost didn't start until much recently…only the past twenty years or so…"

"What does this all mean?" Halibell asked no one in particular.

"No clue…I guess we should go and get dinner…"

* * *

Dinner was as excruciating an affair as ever. The novelty of chasing Nnoitra around the campfire with cutlery had not worn off yet, and the poor guy found himself doing a months worth of exercise in only a few minutes. Aizen then found it appropriate to rediscover his megaphone and use it to grant everyone with useless pieces of information at his own whim, and bursting into song whenever he felt the urge. This only worsened when Starrk and Halibell showed up for dinner.

"Ohohoho, and where have you two been?" he bellowed loudly through the megaphone.

"None of your business, Aizen," Halibell responded curtly, as Starrk covered his ears to evade the noise.

"Usually I would scold you for coming late and speaking back," said Aizen romantically, as though he was about to sing, "But I will let you off this time, because running off to undisclosed locations together proves you are obviously in lo~"

"DON'T EVEN START!" those around the fire snapped at him.

After dinner was eaten, the nightly tradition of sitting around the fire was undertaken.

"I'm bored," whined Grimmjow, a few of the others chiming in with his complaint.

"Carp says there's some interesting things down by the shore," Barrigan informed them.

"Though shortly, Aizen is going to be giving a performance," Szayel told them excitedly, as he clapped his hands together.

"In that case, I think I might go for a walk…" said Nnoitra, as he and a couple of the others stood, "No wonder Aizen's been so damn obnoxious tonight…"

"Don't be gone for too long, or you'll miss the show" Aizen warned them as they walked out into the night.

"Are you coming?" Ulquiorra questioned Grimmjow as the others walked on ahead, along the narrow sandy path that lead to the seashore.

"I guess I have nothing else to do…" shrugged Grimmjow, tagging along.

"I'm going too!" Chizuru piped up as she ran on ahead to Nnoitra and Tesla.

The gibbous moon shone luminously in the clear nights sky, glowing vibrantly on the space blanket and surrounded by a dusting of thousands of bright and dim stars. It was pretty cool, so Grimmjow thought. Much more interesting than the moon that was over Las Noches; that one was only ever crescent and never changed. Thus, there were no ghost stories surrounding 'full moon' or any of that superstitious crap. Though one could argue that Hueco Mundo was enough of a creepy ghoulish place in itself without the ghost stories, but Grimmjow didn't really think that was relevant. He continued gazing at the sky as he walked, until he paid the penalty for not watching where he was going by tripping over an overturned rock and landing on Ulquiorra.

"Oh…sorry," he apologised, pushing himself off the ground and noting that Ulquiorra's unimpressed frown was visible even in the night's shadows.

After Ulquiorra stood and dusted himself off, the two hurriedly caught up with the rest of the group, who were loudly arguing as always. However, something was amiss.

"Do you hear that?" Nnoitra tensed up, and the others froze where they stood.

A rustling came from some nearby bushes, along with the crunching of leaves and bark as feet crushed them to the soil. Each Arrancar and human warily surveyed the bushland from which the sound was coming, ready to break into run at any moment if need be. The rustling only drew closer, before three figures—no, four—erupted from the bushed.

"Gyyaaaa!" Nnoitra blurted out, backing away from the newcomers.

"Relax," came Gin's voice. "Its just us."

He stepped into the moonlight with his ghost buster team, who were accompanied by Mizuiro.

"What are you doing down here?" Grimmjow snarled at them.

"Are you forgetting that I'm Aizen's right-hand man?" Gin asked him. "Obviously he would feel far more content if someone responsible like me were to assist you in your night time shenanigans. Not to mention he wants us back in time for his performance."

"And you're sure you're not hunting for the ghost?" Questioned Tesla, eyeing off the other three who (as well as Gin) were all armed with strange looking radios and hairdryer/gun devices.

"No, no not at all!" Gin quickly dismissed, "These're so that uhh…so that…so that we don't get lost…'aint that right, fellas?"

"Oh yes, yes," Gin's followers quickly agreed.

"Of course, very true!"

"Wouldn't want to get lost out here…"

"Where did ya get all that chunky shit anyway?" Nnoitra made to ask them, though it was lost in the squabbling of Tesla and Grimmjow.

"Ay, shut up, I'm trying to talk!" the spoonspada snapped as he grabbed both his fraccion and the Sexta Espada by the hair, proceeding to smash their heads together and give them wedgies simultaneously.

But whatever Nnoitra was going to proceed to say was lost.

"Race you to the shore!" Luppi yelled out to anyone who would listen, before shooting off, down the beach.

"Not so fast!" Ggio hollered after him, kicking up sand as he ran.

"I'll beat you both!" Grimmjow gloated.

"DON'T THINK I'M FINISHED WITH YOU!" Nnoitra screeched, running towards the waves.

"Master Nnoitra," Tesla said as he anxiously went after his Espada, "Don't do anything reckless!"

"The old guy said that Carp said there was something cool down here…" Chizuru told Ulquiorra, Gin and Mizuiro as the others chased each other along the shoreline. "But what, I wonder…"

"Maybe there's some cool shells," Gin suggested, "That lot should be careful though. They might step on them. And that wouldn't be good…"

"Well lets go over and take a look," said Mizuiro.

As the four wandered through the sand towards the ocean, Ulquiorra grew an odd feeling. The shouts, cries and hollers of the running idiots and the sound of nighttime waves faded, as did the voices of those around him. A surreal throbbing entered the back of his mind, and he felt himself pulled like gravity towards an unknown force.

"Hm? What's he looking at?" wondered Mizuiro.

Ulquiorra himself wasn't even sure on the answer to that himself.

"We…" he managed… "We should leave…"

"Hmmm? And why is that? I think its fun down here."

"No, really," Ulquiorra turned to Gin, "I have a gut feeling…that this really isn't a good idea."

"Awwww, is Ulqui scared?" Grimmjow taunted as he came past, headlocked by Nnoitra.

"No, its just that-"

It was there. Silhouetted in the shadows of a dim rocky outcrop, watching them with its blank lifeless eyes. The ghost.

Currently, it seemed that only Ulquiorra had caught sight of it, everyone else too busy absorbed in their taunting, arguing and mucking around. Ulquiorra took one solid step toward it. It didn't flinch.

"What are you doing, Ulquiorra-san?" Tesla questioned, following Ulquiorra's direction of gaze with his own. He gasped and took multiple steps back upon sighting the otherworldly creature.

"Nobody move," Ulquiorra sternly warned them, before taking another few steps towards the ghost.

"Ulquiorra…" came Grimmjow's voice, obviously trying to remain even, "What the hell is that thing?"

Ulquiorra remained silent, even as Nnoitra scurried backwards panting 'It's the ghost, you dipshit!', and continued making his way toward the figure that was paler than he.

"Ulquiorra…" Grimmjow warned.

But Ulquiorra wasn't listening.

The ghost had spoken something that had sounded very bat-like, Ulquiorra remembered. But he had been unable to respond…he was now a mere two metres away from it…drawing to a halt, he slowly drew his tongue to the roof of his mouth and made a couple of high, fast clicking noises, much to the confusion of those watching.

'Hello' he had said, 'What is bothering you, wandering spirit?'

The ghost made no verbal response. However, it placed its hand (which was considerably clawed) up against the rocky outcrop, and slice down, causing a hair-rising screech. Ulquiorra quickly clicked a few more times.

'There isn't any need for that, I-'

"Ulquiorra! This isn't a good idea!" it was Grimmjow's voice again, but Ulquiorra wasn't leaving without answers. He continued to stubbornly click away in his bat language.

It was then that the ghost's empty, lifeless eyes bore down, directly into his own. Ulquiorra felt a strange sensation run through him, almost like a magnetic electric field between himself and the ghost. He felt himself unable to do anything other that walk closer toward it.

"Ulquiorra, you idiot!"

Grimmjow plummetted over, driving his elbow into the back of Ulquiorra's head and breaking the enchanting eye contact.

"Owww…" Ulquiorra massaged the back of his head, before being pulled up by the scruff of the neck by Grimmjow, and running beside the others at top speed towards the camp, as the ghost's angry howls chased after them.

Through the sand and over the shells they continued running, with only each other's screams for company.

"Wah!" a dull thud not too far from reaching the forest path sounded, indicating Tesla had tripped over in the confusion.

"Tesla!" despite the swiftly approaching, raging ghost, Nnoitra doubled back to pick up his fallen subordinate.

"They're not going to make it…" Ggio observed, looking back over his shoulder. The ghost was quickly gaining, its silvery body sleeking toward them like a snake, and leaving an icy trail in its wake.

"Ghost busters! Now!" declared Gin.

On cue, Luppi, Ggio and Mizuiro abandoned their running, letting the others hurry on ahead, and pointed their strange guns towards the ghost.

"Fire, my pretties!"

Twenty seconds later…

"It didn't work!" Gin anguished as they ran, closer to the campsite.

"Well what were you expecting?" Mizurio shouted back.

"I don't know! Arrrrrghhhh!"

"Arrrrrggggghhh!"

The entire group burst back into the campsite, only now discovering that the ghost had ceased pursuing them.

However, it seemed now they had other things to worry about.

"Ah," came Aizen's voice from by the fire, as he gave his guitar a single strum, "Right on time."

"Gaaaaaahhhh!"

* * *

The night was restless, full of strange sounds and foreboding omens. Grimmjow had gone into a state of shock and was now laying in a corner of his tent in the foetal position, much to Szayel's humour. An uncanny bat sound screeched seemingly from nowhere out into the night. Aizen had comforted the scared ones, convincing them it was mating season, and the wildlife were getting rowdy.

However, only Ulquiorra could make sense of its true meaning..

'This is the last time I take no victims.'

**Next time:** Another group are staying at Camp Happy-Clap. Though only for one night, and over in the proper accommodation. Gin insists on dressing team ghost-bust up to look for answers in this other group of campers. Hilarity ensues.

* * *

**Kris: Ah Sorry, I don't think this chapter was that funny…it was important though. And as for next chapter, ohohohohoho~ You shall see :] Oh, and as of the end of this chapter, we are half way through :D**

**As always, please review :D**


	9. Gin's Gals

**A new chapter so soon. You're surprised, aren't you? Thankyou to all my lovely reviewers for reviewing once again :D I'm still in the process of replying to a couple, haha xD**

**My Auzzie readers: Is anyone going to SMASH! In Sydney tomorrow? I'll be there cosplaying as Vizard Mashiro Kuna :3 If you see me, please say hello~ Though since SMASH is so soon, you'll prob be reading this after you've been :P**

**And on with the chapter…**

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Gin's Gals**

An uneasy atmosphere translated throughout much of Camp Happy-Clap's campsite the next morning.

"It's the Blair Ghost…it's the freaking Blair Ghost…" poor Grimmjow was rocking back and forth, whilst repeating the mantra to himself. The fact that the ghost existed was as surprising to him as it was hurtful to his pride; even he could no longer deny it's existence. And poor Aizen was highly conflicted over the recount of what had happened the night before, and resolved only in going for a trip to the hot springs with Tousen and Wonderweiss in attempt to clear his head of the problems of his Espada.

This meant that his luxury cabin was now in the hands of none other than Gin Ichimaru.

"Our ghost-buster guns mustn't have been strong enough," Mizuiro commented as he, Luppi and Ggio sat in a circle on the bed in Gin's room. The same room he shared with Aizen. And the same _bed_ he shared with Aizen.

"Then we either fix them, or come up with another way to capture the ghost," contemplated Ggio.

Luppi agreed, "And then we can interrogate it, find out if its communicating with Tousen, and then show it to Aizen as proof that Tousen's a ghost."

The three gave a nod, "Right."

"I some have interesting news," came Gin's voice, as the silver-haired man entered, his usual grin accented quite magnificently.

"Coming from you, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not," Mizuiro said with a smile. Being a new addition to the group, he was not quite used to Gin's antics yet.

"What's the news?" Luppi asked.

"It seems," began Gin with a snicker, "That for tonight only, there's gonna be another group staying at Camp Happy-Clap. They'll be stayin' in the rooms though. I think it will be to our advantage if we could get some info out of them regarding the ghost…"

"Sounds good to me…" Mizuiro shrugged.

"However," said Gin, "From what I have heard, the group consists entirely of men. So you three are going to disguise yourselves in order to attract those men."

"Hmmm? How?" Ggio asked, tilting his head.

"Observe!" Gin spoke, immediately retracting a cord attached to a small pump from his sleeve.

Quickly, he began pumping. The rest of his ghost-bust team sat in silent confusion for a few moments, before their eyes widened.

Gin's chest was expanding and increasing in size with each squeeze of the pump. Very soon, he had the figure of a very well endowed woman.

The others sat and stared in shocked silence.

"Oh they aren't real," Gin quickly assured them. He removed his shirt to show two transparent balloon-like implants, "You see, the pumping allows a stream of air into these inflatable cushions, giving the illusion of bust.

"Amazing…" said Ggio.

"So you're going to dress us up as women?" asked Mizuiro.

"Yes. It is the best method of getting attention from all these males, don't ya think?"

"But what if they're gaaaaaaaaay…"

"Nonsense! If I have you done up like beautiful ladies-"

"Uhhh…Gin?" questioned Ggio, "What will we do about clothing?"

Gin stopped what he was saying and pondered for a moment.

"Hmmm…that is a bit of a problem…As far as I know, Aizen, Kaname and I were the only ones given enough warning to pack a decent variety of clothes…"

"What will we do then?" asked Mizuiro.

Gin's eyes wandered over to the closet.

"We'll borrow other people's clothes…."

"Well did you bring anything a woman would wear?" Ggio questioned.

Gin shook his head.

"Then maybe Aizen did…" said Luppi, gazing around the room.

Fifteen minutes had passed of much searching through Aizen's clothing. However, in amongst all the frivolous accessories, the only clothing article of use to them was a single (but very stylish) brown skirt.

"Its only one skirt!" Luppi whined, "That won't help much…"

None of them even saw the concerning reality Aizen owned and had bought along a skirt in the first place.

"What will we do, I wonder…" Gin thought out loud.

The four's fretting was interrupted by a new voice.

"If you think that Aizen was the only one who bought a decent array of clothing…you are mistaken."

* * *

Tesla sighed as he watched his master 'bravely' attempt to feed some chickens. It was obvious the guy was trying, but…

"AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!" Nnoitra screamed as he hurriedly backed away from the birds.

Tesla sighed once again and shook his head. They had a long way to go…So he sat down and began playing with a leaf.

_MEANWHILE, AT THE HOTSPRINGS…_

Aizen felt awkward. He was at a hot spring with Tousen and Wonderweiss, did he need any other reason? And he felt weird taking it all of in front of Tousen, even though he was blind. Aizen sank into the water, with only the top half of his head unsubmerged, as he glared daggers at Wonderweiss (who was running nakedly around all the springs—it seemed a certain camp attendant had influenced him) with his eyes.

_Soon…_

After a few hours, Aizen returned to the luxury cabin.

He paused. The sound of shuffling came from beyond the embankment of the ceiling. Aizen frowned.

"Whose there?"

"Uhhh?…whoa, check this out. You can sniff this dust up."

"Cut that out! What if we get found?"

Aizen's frown deepened. "Aaroniero, Zommari. Is that you?"

"Whoa…"

"Umm…Yes, Aizen-sama!"

"…What are you doing in the roof?"

It was Zommari's voice that came as a reply.

"Whaa? Hmm…ahh…something, I think. Hey Aaroniero, how did we get up here?"

"Idiot, you were the one who suggested this!"

Aizen stood silently as the two began to squabble about the future or something like that.

_Hmmm…they must both be high…_he thought to himself before addressing them once again, "Very well…just make sure you can get out, it will be problematic if you are still up there tonight when Gin and I are in bed. Is there a latch or door somewhere you can climb out of? I'll look for one…"

While Aizen was distracted, team ghost-bust took the opportunity to run out into the night…

* * *

Gin sized his gals up and down. He wasn't a weird gay or anything who's fetishes involved three males—two Arrancar, one human—disguised very well as women, breasts and all, but boy did they look hot.

Assistance had come to them from none other than Charlotte Cuulhorn. It seemed he had very sensitive hearing, and when he'd heard the word 'skirt', he'd come running from the other side of the campsite. Normally, Gin would find this creepy, but under these circumstances it had been all but helpful. Gin gazed fondly across at his three lovely ladies as they strutted across the field of cows, towards the main accommodation.

Luppi's outfit consisted of items of clothing chosen entirely (save for the shoes) from Aizen's collection. Seeing as he already looked like a lady, he looked particularly lavish. The stylish brown skirt was a high waist and came to a length of just above his knees. It was highly flattering on him, accenting his hips and emphasising the impressive bust Gin had blessed him with. The bust however, was covered by a strappy singlet top, and plunged into by a silver chain bearing a simple crystal charm. On his feet was a pair of cowgirl-like stilettos, borrowed from Cuulhorn. Ggio wore a pretty ocean blue strapless frock, which really picked up the colour in his eyes. His lack of boobage only complimented his slender figure, as he walked through the night. Mizuiro looked great in as pair of hotpants and a halter. Gin himself however remained a man, as he found it only fitting that the ladies had a male escort. Not that he wasn't hiding a boob pack under his own clothes or anything…

Gin smiled. Getting prepared for this had been one of the most enjoyable points of this camp so far…

"_Boob time!" Gin declared, pulling out a vast multitude of fake book inflators from the folds of his clothing._

_The other three looked on, shirtless and flabbergasted. _

"_Do you always have those on you?" Ggio asked._

"_You never know when you're going to need them," Gin responded, as he strapped one securely around Mizuiro's exposed chest and began pumping. He ceased after a number of solid pumps._

"_Hm," he nodded, admiring his handy work. "Not too small, not too large. In proportion with your waist, about a C. Good size."_

_He dismissed his work with a smiling Mizuiro and moved on to and excited Ggio._

"_Hmm…now for you," Gin thought out loud as he fastened an inflatable boob pack to the small fraccion. "You look quite a lot like Soi-Fon, an old acquaintance of mine…she was quite flat-chested, so I'll model your breasts after hers."_

_Gin gave the pump a mere few puffs—just enough to give Ggio a 'barely there' endowment, before proceeding to Luppi._

"_As for you…" he attached a pack and began pumping. And pumping. And pumping, before finally finishing up just as the packs were near bursting point._

"_Uhh…?" Luppi looked down, his face a mix of horror and joy at his artificial breasts. _

"_In any good shounen series, there's always at least one woman with breasts so large it's comical," Gin explained._

"_Why does Luppi get the big pair?" Ggio whined, whist pouting and petting his own, much smaller breasts, "His are bigger than mine and Mizuiro's combined!"_

"_Well it's a good thing not helium, or he'd float away," Mizuiro noted, as he inspected Luppi's impressive rack._

"_And you're just jealous," Luppi said as he dressed himself in a strappy singlet top of Aizen's. "You have A-cup Angst 'cause I'm a Luscious L-Cup."_

"_Is there even such thing as an L-Cup?" Mizuiro wondered._

"_There is now!" responded Luppi, flaunting his chest out terrirorially.  
_

"_Now lets not waste time," said Gin, "Get changed into those foxy outfits Aizen and Cuulhorn have been so gracious to lend you!"_

Before Gin knew it, they'd arrived at the main accommodation. Through the glass doors of the downstairs function hall, movement could be seen as the other guests mingled at dinner.

"Well," said Gin, offering his accomplices make the first move, "Ladies…"

* * *

_Dear Diary, _

_I am writing this to you now from under a bed. Yes, I am hiding. From that weird tank guy. He keeps groping me and calling me future-san D8 _

_The gay one with the pink hair gets annoyed at this, and the stoner just stared at me. He has two facial expressions: blank and astounded. I don't really get him…_

_I wish I wasn't in this stupid escape team. Today, we had to search for materials to make the balloon with. Gay had Stoner and TankPerv climb into the ceilings of some cabins, and get some of that sheetish stuff, I forget what it's called…I just want out._

_Ah, someone's coming in now! I'd better stop writing, or they might hear the pan scratching…_

_-Keigo._

* * *

"The sake here isn't too bad."

"And rightly so. It's about time we raised enough funds to do something like this, even if it is for one night only…"

"We need to get some good pictures. Make the women jealous."

"Good idea. Take your shirts off, everyone. We need to look as manly as possible."

"Whose got the camera?"

"Me~"

"Right! Everyone, strike a pose. Make it manly…No Yumichicka, not like that! Like this…!"

"But that's not beautiful at all…"

"But manliness is beauty! Don't be a priss."

Ichigo sighed. "Why am I even here?"

Iba turned from his Manly vs. Beauty war with the eleventh division's fifth seat and addressed him.

"Because Ichigo, you are a man among men. During this camp experience I think it would be great for you to be here, and influence your manliness on these men."

"Uhhh…okay?"

"Hey," said Ikkaku, turning to the door, "Some girls are here…"

Attention of all the men in the room diverted to the entryway, as three womanly figures entered.

"We have been blessed…" Hisagi sighed in elation, thanking every god he could think of.

Ichigo approached the shortest one, who wore hotpants and frowned slightly.

"You look familiar…" he said.

"Oh…Ichi-I mean…I'm sure we've never met before…"

As the three women entered and mingled with the men, Akon stared outside, as though searching for something.

"What is it, Akon?" Ukitake asked him.

"I could have sworn I just saw Gin," the scientist replied, "But perhaps it was the night playing tricks on the eyes…"

"Or you've had too much sake," suggested Iemura.

"Or maybe you saw something like a ghost and thought it was Gin because it was so white," said Omaeda, shrugging as he ate from his packed of crackers (despite the fact there was better food all around him).

"GHOST?" all three ladies questioned at once.

"Oh don't worry ladies," Ukitake smiled at them kindly, "He was just joking."

"No, that's not it…have you seen any ghosts around this area? Or heard stories of them?"

"Uhhh…"

To cut hours of nonsense into a few sentences, nothing productive was ever found out about the ghost of Camp Happy-Clap. The 'girls' and the Shinigami Men's Association socialised deep in the night having a good old convo and getting wasted. This was, until Hisagi decided to hug the busty one, thus bursting one of the ridiculously full endowments, and sending the three found-out not-women running into the night. Gin had done this much earlier on, upon finding out just who this mysterious roup of men were. Oh well. Its not like any of them remembered it the next morning. Ah, on the topic of the next morning, Aizen and Gin awoke to find a single, half-deflated boobed Luppi laying in between them. The moral of this chapter: never leave your luxury cabin in the hands of Gin. Weird shit happens.

**Next Time: **A cave expedition answers some questions, yet raises even more…

* * *

**Kris: Hahaha, this was just a fun chapter xD Hope you enjoyed! Though the SMA were a special ch 9 only appearance. Now I have to go to bed early, so I can get up early enough to get ready for SMASH! Just a hint: I hope there are some lovelyful, shiny reviews for me to read on the train up~ ;D Ahem, yes…* 3* Goodnight, all~ *waves and goes to bed***


	10. Close Encounters

**Kris: 'Sup guys~! So much awesome feedback for last chapter! I feel so loved. Thankyou everyone. I have been replying to your reviews, but I'd also like to thank the people who review who aren't registered members, but still leave a review even though I can't reply.  
**

**However, a serious note (insert resounding gasp): It has been bought to my attention that a story frightfully similar to this one has appeared. While I am very touched that someone would like my story so much they'd go and make their own, I would advise to at the very least make it somewhat different by not copy-pasting the exact same jokes and having almost the exact same things happen as in my story. For goodness sake, even the Tousen ghost sub-plot and Ulquiorra's bat clicking has been copied, and some things word-for-word…Aizen's line I have as this story's summary, for example…Please come up with your own idea. It is a form of plagiarism, and any idiot can look at both our 'published' dates to see that mine is the original. Also, keep in mind that it is on the internet, so anyone can view it without leaving evidence. I see what you're doing there, reusing my jokes and plot, but also messing it all up. I might not leave reviews, alert or fave, but I'm watching your every move…Just think of me as your own personal Aizen ;)**

**THANKS ! NOW HERE'S A NEW CHAPTER, FOR ALL OF MY LOVELY REVIEWERS WHO I LOVE VERY MUCH~**

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Close Encounters**

It was a day unlike any other in that is was dull and drizzly. The Arrancar occupied themselves by sitting in their tents playing cards, bothering Nnoitra, or stealing food from Aizen's cabin among other things. At the present moment however, they were gathered under a large tarpaulin as Tousen scolded them. Apparently, someone had been picking on Wonderweiss, and Tousen was out to stop the bullying with his fist of justice.

"Where is the justice?" he cried out in whiney angst to everyone and no one in particular, "Wonderweiss is a pure, blameless being whom you should all strive to be like. But instead, you tease him!"

Said Arrancar was currently out in the rain trying to catch some sort of invisible insect, his vague 'Uuaahs' harmonising with Tousen's whinging. Combined with the rain, in crated an all-round dreary symphony of drawn out sounds.

"Where is the justice?" Tousen repeated dramatically, "And Gin, what is with all that strange equipment?"

"Nothing~" Gin ensured, busily positioning some sort of radio-like device towards his interrogator.

"Please don't…" Ggio groaned, still hung-over from the gender-bending adventures of two nights previously.

Meanwhile, as Tousen continued to carry on, Aizen sat at the kitchen bench in his own cabin. Opposite him were two Arrancar, to whom he was giving a very strict talking-to.

"Starrk, Halibell," he addressed the two, "I have bought you both in here to give you…The Talk."

Both Espada paled.

"The…Talk?"

Aizen continued, "Now I don't want you to feel weird or violated about what I am about to say to you. There comes a time in everyone's life when they meet someone who, in their eyes, is different. In fact, some people spend their entire lives searching for that one person who is different."

"What are you getting at, Aizen?

Aizen smiled, "While this camp has been put in place to encourage your relationships, its only to a certain degree. I've noticed the two of you spending a particularly high amount of your time together. While this is good, I must enforce our no-touch and no-hug policy between Arrancar of the opposite gender. I would prefer a 20 cm gap between the both of you at all times."

"Aizen, we haven't hugged…"

"But you may want to."

"But we haven't…"

"You may want to. And you know what hugging leads to?"

"…"

"Hugging leads to _feeling."_

"Oh god, Aizen…"

"Feeling leads to…leads to…leads to the removal of clothing!"

To emphasise the example, Aizen lifted his arms and a strong, spontaneous updraft seemed to wrench the top-half of his clothing from his body. Starrk and Halibell's WTF expressions were now of darn good quality. Though all were thankful that Aizen's pants were still intact.

"And you know what happens after that?" Aizen asked, giving them a wink.

Halibell bit her lower lip and Starrk gulped.

"No? Then let me tell you~" Aizen suddenly had that god-damned guitar in his hands once again and was strumming away joyously, as he sung something about birds and bees.

"Now do you understand?" he questioned, after his impromptu song had concluded.

Both Espada nodded sagely.

"Can we go now?" Starrk willed.

Aizen laughed, "But we are not finished! I haven't told you the best part. While I am Aizen and know all that's going on, doesn't mean I won't turn a blind eye to something if I don't see it at all."

"And what do you mean by that?" Halibell asked, eyes narrowing.

"Well if I don't see it happening…" Aizen muttered, a small smile forming, "And no one else—particularly the influential ones like that dear Nnoitra—knows about it…and you never speak of it…then anything can happen. And that's why this lesson I am about to give you is of utmost importance. Especially for you Starrk, since you're the male. Watch closely…"

From a nearby fruit bowl, Aizen produced a banana. Then from his pocket, a rubbery pouch-like device made to fit something phallic.

"Aizen…"

"Once again my darling Espada, do not feel violated by the display I am about to show you. In fact, this is my second time giving this display today. I gave Ulquiorra and Nnoitra this very same talk just this morning."

Starrk and Halibell paled once again.

"No wonder those two were acting so awkward around each other at breakfast," Halibell whispered across to the Primera Espada.

"No kidding…" Starrk responded, before Aizen continued.

"I am using a new banana this time, however," Aizen indicated to a peel in the bin, "I had the last one for breakfast."

Starrk tensed awkwardly and Halibell gagged.

"You mean you- after putting that thing on it, you ate- ugh…"

Aizen chuckled. "Now observe!"

With skilled proficiency, he slid the condom over the banana and held it up to the light.

"The condom! A breakthrough in undesired pregnancy and unwanted abstinence! You will never have to say no again!"

As Aizen continued advertising the condom, Starrk and Halibell quietly slipped away…

* * *

Grimmjow frowned, almost pouting as Carp taught them the art of bracelet making.

"If you're bored, I can take you into the caves," suggested Hanri from beside him.

"You can?" questioned Grimmjow, flinging his fail of a bracelet away and not noticing as Zommari picked it up and dropped it into his 'bag of happiness' with a smile. "Then lets do that!"

"Very well," Hanri said, carefully placing his own work down and standing.

"Carp-san," he addressed, "If I may take a group down to the caves…"

"By all means," Carp answered, waving at them to be gone. Maybe if he were left with a group who actually _wanted_ to do bracelet making, they'd be getting somewhere. "Whoever wants to go with him, then off you go."

There was shuffling under the tarp as Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Nnoitra, Tesla, Luppi, Gin and Lilynette stood, leaving their half-attempted bracelets behind and hurrying after Hanri. It wasn't long before they were joined by Starrk and Halibell who, having just emerged from Aizen's cabin, were strongly intent on getting as far from it as possible. Exchanging an awkward glance with Ulquiorra and Nnoitra, the two continued on with the rest of the group as though they had not just experienced a traumatising encounter at all.

"Have you been down on the shoreline yet?" Hanri asked, as they began down the forest path that led to the beach.

"I went down with the girls during the break yesterday," Halibell responded, "We went swimming."

"Ah yes, it's a nice spot," Hanri responded with a smile. A smile that only Halibell noticed did not reach his eyes.

"We went down a few nights back!" Nnoitra said childishly, "And we saw that ghost! And—and it chased us!"

Hanri raised an eyebrow, "Oh really? Yes I heard about that…"

"You'd have to be trying pretty hard not to have heard about it," Lilynette commented, "I mean, the way that lot went on about it afterwards…"

Hanri laughed as they reached the shore, and looked up to the sky, flicking his light blonde fringe out of his eyes, "Too bad its not such a nice day today hey, Halibell-san? No good for swimming today. Come, the cave entrance is this way."

The group followed him down the beach, towards a large rocky platform that formed part of the many cliffs around Happy-Clap. As they walked, Ulquiorra turned his head and looked behind them, continuing in the opposite direction of the outcrop he'd sighted the ghost beside all those nights ago.

"Ulquiorra…" Grimmjow (being observant for the first time in his life) noticed where Ulquiorra's gaze was lingering.

"What?"

"Uhh…If you don't watch where you're going, you'll crash into something and I'll laugh at you."

Ulquiorra scowled at him, before turning and looking in the general direction they were headed.

About five minutes later, they were nearing the cave's entrance.

"Woaahh…" Tesla breathed, as a large arc of stone came into view, "Its so big…"

"I wonder what we'll find in here," Gin grinned.

"First thing is first!" said Hanri, "Equipment! And safety."

"But that's boring," whined Luppi.

"Okay," Hanri grinned at him, "We wont give you a helmet, rope or flashlight. You can stumble around in the dark and crack your head open on one of the lovely stalactites."

"Fine," Luppi grumbled, arms crossed.

Twenty minutes later, all were ready (though Gin had somehow managed to tangle himself up in the rope resulting in Tesla, Hanri and Lilynette trying to get him out) and Hanri led the way, deep into the cave.

"I can't see anything!" Nnoitra's voice complained after about five minutes, from the back as they descended into the cave-like blackness.

"Turn your torch on, stupid," Grimmjow suggested from just in front of him, turning and flashing his own helmet flashlight in the spoonspada's eyes.

"Quit that!" Nnoitra demanded.

"You chicken?"

"No! You were hurting my eyes."

"Dipshit."

"YOU'RE THE DIPSHIT!"

"Watch where you're walking."

"Eh?" Nnoitra looked on ahead, only to realise he and Grimmjow were the only ones left in the chamber.

"THEY'VE BUGGERED OFF!"

"SO THEY HAVE!"

"BASTARDS!"

* * *

Meanwhile back at the campsite, Aizen had his guitar out as he continued his condom promoting.

"It's the easy way to get laid~~~~Hmmm?" He looked around his empty kitchen, "Where did Starrk and Halibell go? Perhaps they grew inspired by my display and snuck away to release their pent-up tension between on another? Ohoho~ What I cant see can't affect me~ And to think, it was me who finally go the two to discover their true feelings for one another! I really am The Great Aizen."

"Umm…Aizen," Tousen floated into the room, "Be quiet. I'm taking a nap."

"Oh…sorry," Aizen continued his condom songs quietly.

* * *

"NNOITRA! HEY, NNOITRA! Doesn't that rock formation look like a giant spoon? Maybe its a statue of you, hahaha!"

"IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A SPOON, ASS-WIPE!"

It had been two hours. Two hours of wandering through the dark, just Grimmjow and Nnoitra, tripping each other over from time to time, or pushing each other into assorted holes. Eventually, a strange, eerie sound entered their ears.

"Mooo…"

Nnoitra gasped. "What was that?"

Grimmjow shrugged, "It sounded like a cow, I guess…"

Nnoitra whimpered pitifully.

"This is the same cave system that comes out somewhere around the cow paddock, after all…" Grimmjow pondered, "Maybe we're near that exit!"

"But I thought that would be in the other direction…"

"…Maybe its because we're underground! We lack direction."

"The mooing…it's getting louder. There's a cow down here in the dark with us!" Nnoitra realised in horror, "But why, oh god, whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"

"Shut up!" Grimmjow snapped, "Maybe there's an exit nearby…"

"Remember that scary movie of those women who went into those caves and there were those…those _things_ in there?"

Grimmjow rolled his eyes, "Yeah, why?"

"What if…what if the cow making all that noise is a cow version of one of _those_?"

Grimmjow facepalmed. "You know Jilga, if I could see you right now I'd give you the biggest wedgie ever."

"What? No that's not fair! I'd give _you_ the wedgie!"

"Shut up, let's wait until we get out of this damned cave," Grimmjow responded, readjusting his helmet light.

"I CAN'T WAIT THAT LOOOOOOOOOONG!" Nnoitra raged, before stupidly running down the nearest tunnel.

Grimmjow yelled after him.

Nnoitra pushed his legs to run, intent on finding a cowless exit, before coming to a forced and abrupt halt. He skidded slightly as he stood on the edge of a pinnacle. A pinnacle that bought him level with none other than the source of the dreaded mooing. He gasped in utter horror at the sight that befell him.

It was like one of those scenes in BBC Merlin, when Merlin goes to bother The Great Dragon about the villain of the week. Only in this case, Nnoitra was Merlin, and, well…in place of The Great Dragon was the Cow King if Nnoitra had ever seen one. It was _massive. _

With one great, bellowing 'Moooooooo', it turned its gaze to Nnoitra, who did what any good Nnoitra would do in this sort of situation;

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHH!"

Ran into Grimmjow (literally) and located the exit in two minutes flat.

* * *

"Where could they have gone?" Lilynette wondered as she and the others, having just remerged from the cave, stared back into its abyssimal depths.

"Maybe they've died~" suggested Luppi.

"Don't say that!" Gin groaned, "If they've gone missing, think about how much Aizen will kill me!"

"Master Nnoitra…" Tesla muttered worriedly.

It was then that an echoing yell tore from the cave, and grew louder accompanied by footsteps.

"That's Master Nnoitra!" Tesla looked overjoyed as two figures appeared from the cave, running for their lives.

"Well then, that's that taken care of!" said Hanri, as he eyed his complete cave team.

A scuffing of the sand alerted the group to another presence approaching them. The nakedness only proved it was Carp.

"You all returned," he greeted, glancing them all, "Well how about that!"

"C-cow…" was all Nnoitra managed to say.

"Cow?" Carp questioned, ignorant of Starrk covering Lilynette's eyes, Halibell looking away and Luppi's fascinated onlook, all in regards to his selected lack of attire, "In the caves? That's a new one! What an imagination you have! Now come, that girl Tatsuki has prepared a fun new activity for you all to do before dinner!"

Most of the group quickly hurried away, in either eagerness for the activity or to escape the awkwardness of Carp. Only Ulquiorra and Grimmjow stuck around to put away the equipment.

Only Ulquiorra and Grimmjow noticed the suspicious body language in the exchange between Carp and Hanri when they thought they weren't being watched.

Only Ulquiorra realised the exchange was suspicious and had to explain why to Grimmjow, 'cause Grimmjow's kinda thick sometimes…

All the two knew as they observed from the shadows, was that Carp was surprised that everyone returned.

"Maybe it's because Hanri is a really bad guide and always loses people in there," Grimmjow suggested as they watched as the two retreated back up the beach, "Or maybe you're overanalysing this…"

Ulquiorra frowned. "Probably the latter."

* * *

It was night again, as clearly stated by the charcoal sky and ever filling moon that grew in it. The cool wind that serenely gushed was another indicator. As was Aizen's campfire songs, and Zommari and Aaroniero's tent (or lack thereof) problems.

Just away from the campsite however, down by the toilet blocks, Tesla was trying to get word from his Master of what he encountered down in the cave.

"Never!" said Nnoitra with a scowl, "I'm never setting foot in any cave. Ever. Again."

"But what if you need to one day, Master Nnoitra?" Tesla probed innocently.

"Then I'll just hope that doesn't happen," replied Nnoitra. "You can't make me go into one of those things again. Not for anything."

"You'll never live these fears down if you just keep running away and don't face them once and for all," said Tesla, "Part of this camp is about facing your fears! So what better time than now? Lets go and look at some of the cutlery. I can come with you if you like."

"No means no, Tesla," Nnoitra growled.

"You know Master Nnoitra, I used to be like you. I was so afraid of the dark…"

Nnoitra shuddered, "I don't blame you."

"But you know what?" Tesla continued, "One night I decided I'd challenge myself. I decided I didn't need the nightlight. It was difficult at first, but then I got used to it. The noises of the night…they really weren't that scary anymore. Once I tried confronting that fear for what it was, it wasn't scary anymore."

"Yeah?" murmured Nnoitra half-heartedly, "Well good for you. Now if you'll excuse me, Grimmjow challenged me to a wedgie contest, and I want to prove to everyone that I'm not a pussie…"

Nnoitra had already turned and began walking away, when he was stopped by a very out-of-character comment.

"Then man up, would ya?"

"Eh?" Nnoitra slowly turned to see Tesla, a slight frown covering his features as he regarded his master in a serious manner, "What you sayin', Tesla?"

"What I'm saying is…" Tesla doubled back almost reclusively, sudden bout of boldness dissipated, "What I'm saying is if you could face your fears, you could prove that you're no pussie."

Nnoitra glared at him, "That discussion is over, Tesla."

"No it isn't!" Tesla rejected, his eyes betraying emotions a mix of frustration and shock that he was actually speaking to his master in such a way. "These fears of yours…If you'd just face them you could…I know you're brave, Nnoitra! I've seen you been brave! Just the other night when the ghost was after us and I tripped over, you came back for me, even though you knew you were risking yourself!"

"Tesla," Nnoitra snarled, "Shut it."

He turned and began walking, but was stopped once again by a slight tug to his arm, as his fraccion tried to reason further with him.

"Master Nnoitra-"

"I said shut it!"

Forgetting that Tesla was quite a lot smaller than him and therefore couldn't bear the brunt of such force, Nnoitra gave him a violent shove, sending him tumbling to the ground. There was a moments pause as Nnoitra wheeled around, watching as Tesla's eyes bore up at him from the ground, full of hurt and resentment.

For a moment, Nnoitra almost felt bad. Then he got over it.

"Che," he turned his head and began walking away once again, "Just shut up Tesla, I don't care about how you used to be scared of the dark, and I don't care about your stupid opinions on whether I'm brave or need to get over my fears or not. Like I'd let _you_ help me anyway. You stupid."

As Nnoitra walked away, he pretended not to hear the soft sobs that echoed behind him. All he knew was that he was ready to wedgie Grimmjow so hard he wouldn't be able to do his business properly for the next few weeks.

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_This is getting out of control. Seriously. _

_So we're well into building this balloon thing, or whatever it was I suggested a few days back, got sheets and stuff, and Szayel had us all make heaps of bracelet things today in the bracelet weaving thing, so we can link it all together. We had to make twice as much as needed though, 'cause guess who smoked them :|_

_But hopefully I will be rescued from this escape team soon. Maybe Starrk will help. He's been staring at me a lot lately, maybe he realises something's up. Or maybe he thinks I'm weird, cause I always accidentally hug him in the tent at night, but I do that to Mizuiro too! Speaking of which, I could have sworn I saw him with boobs the other night…_

_Szayel's been really protective of me lately. Its all that TankPerv's fault…he keeps following me and today he grabbed my butt! D8 And he has two heads in that tank…today I even walked in on him arguing with himself about me!_

_Szayel has constant watch over me now, but somehow I don't think that's a better alternative…_

Slowly but surely, Keigo's sanity was slipping away…

* * *

**Next Time: **Having become suspicious, Ulquiorra and Grimmjow go on an investigation that leads to another investigation that grants them some unlikely conclusions. Also, just what did the other group who went caving see, and how does it all connect?

**Kris: Another chapter done! Sorry about that, NnoiTess fans. More on the way, but probably not until after I've finished my trials, which isn't too long from now :) More cave stuff to come as well, haha~  
**

**And one last thing for my plagiarising friend…I went to your account thinking that you would be a younger than I, only to see that you are well and truly an adult. Not only that, but older than some of the teachers at my school, one of whom is a yr 12 **_**English**__**literacy **_**teacher who **_**marks my work**_** o.o I was still technically a child when I wrote most of the stuff you've copy-pasted into your story. Doesn't that make you feel a little…I don't know…undignified? To be a grown man, yet copying ideas from a little 17-year-old schoolgirl? I was only 16 when I came up with the concept and wrote the line in the summary. Just saying~**

**Aizen would frown, Tousen would berate you, Gin would laugh at you and Carp would frolic through whichever supermarket you frequent in all his naked glory~**

**If you're really that stumped for ideas, just ask me. I wont bite or anything :)**

**Much love,**

**-Your own personal Aizen  
**


	11. Bad Bromance & Reality of Compartment 9

**Kris: Hey everyone! Thanks for all the reviews for last chapter, and so sorry for the delay! Finishing school, schoolies week, this chapter being a bitch to write because I was lazy, etc. But guess what? I've finally finished school forever! Time to make more updates :D As for the issue I talked about last time, it has been entirely cleared up far better than I thought it would have.**

**I promise that I will leave no story unfinished, no matter how long it takes. This story will be finished early next year at latest.**

**Oh, and this chapter may have a few typos. I'll fix them up once I return from qld.**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: Bad Bromance & the Shocking Reality of Compartment no. 9**

"QUIT HITTING ON THE FUTURE!"

The angry shout resounded throughout much of Camp Happy Clap, causing a few who were still enjoying the last of their nights sleep to stir.

Team Escape Means were already up and running, despite having worked deep into the night on their top-secret project. The lack of sleep seemed to be catching up on them, evident by Aaroniero's over-friskiness and Szayel's fuming. Zommari was entirely unaffected by all matters however, and Keigo was curled up in the foetal position at the foot of Aizen's cabin.

Aaroniero pouted in the best way two heads in a tank could.

"I was only mucking around," he whinged.

Szayel glared, "That's the fifth time this morning you've felt him up."

"It's cold! I was trying to keep him warm. We were simply bromancing!"

"Well you could just lend him a blanket! Or tell him to put on a jacket! Not….ugh, never mind. We don't have time for this if we're to escape in good time."

Szayel sighed and turned away from the lower Espada.

"Well then Zommari, what did you find in the store room?"

"Huuh? What? Oh…I found these…"

Slowly, he lifted a pair of strange looking artefacts. They had the shape of a perfectly curved banana, though with a strange addition of fins and a tail.

Szayel raised an eyebrow. "And what might these be?"

"It's the Banana-Fish monster!"

Szayel face palmed. "Idiot, would you stop going on about that thing? Where did you get those from anyway?" They did after all look suspiciously like this 'banana-fish monster' hallucination.

Zommari stared down at the pair of objects with wide eyes, before pointing towards a nearby shed.

"And how will they help us escape?" Szayel pressed.

Zommari shrugged dumbly and sat down on the ground. Sighing, Szayel glanced down at the checklist.

"Never mind anyway," he said, "We have everything we need…"

Nearby, the campsite was slowly coming to life for the day. The high-pitched _zip_ of a crudely constructed tent sounded as it was peeled open, and Grimmjow's electric blue-haired head emerged from within. He paled as he sighted the escape team somewhere across the campsite.

"Ugh, those guys…could they be any louder? Its too early…"

Groaning, he tumbled out of the tent rather inelegantly, accidentally kicking a half-coherent Tesla in the process and began stumbling over to the toilet block. He needed to take a leak, after all. He yawned whilst wiping sleep from his eyes, but then frowned as he sighted Carp walking nearby in all his natural glory.

_Honestly, that guy…_

Suddenly, Grimmjow remembered the events of the day before. The conversation between Hanri and Carp by the caves…Grimmjow's eyes narrowed as he surveyed the camp leader. What had that all meant?

The sound of a throat clearing nearby suddenly alerted the Sexta Espada to another presence.

Starrk was watching him as he watched the naked instructor, a single eyebrow raised. "Really, Grimmjow?"

It was then that he realised he was starring intensely at a naked man.

Turning red with embarrassment and cursing as he went, Grimmjow quickly bolted for the showers to avoid any more unwanted detection.

* * *

The morning's activities consisted of the usual 'round the campfire shenanigans, followed by the regular haphazard activities. On this particular day, the activity was rock-climbing. Each of the Espada and Arrancar set off with their own individual lunchboxes, courtesy of Hanri insisting on making them.

"So…what progress have we made?" Gin asked Mizuiro and Ggio as he pulled the ropes on the harness that was allowing Luppi to work his way up a wall of rocks, not unlike Spiderman.

"Unfortunately no more since yesterday," Ggio reported.

"Such a shame," Gin noted, eyes narrowing all the further at the sight of Tousen atop one of the rock-climbing tracks. "Any case, the ghost is most active at full moon."

"That's tomorrow night," said Mizuiro.

"Then tomorrow, we make our move," Gin said, "We'll confront Tousen if need be. And then we'll capture the ghost. All ghosts know each other. It's obviously been communicating with Tousen somehow, getting him to do its dirty work. Remember the things we saw in that cave yesterday? How some of us nearly got lost? I bet Tousen was behind that. He's a genius at inconspicuousness."

"Not to mention, those strange drawings on the walls," Ggio supplied, "They looked like they were plans for something…not that we saw much of it…"

Gin recalled the strange skull-like images on some of the cave walls. "Indeed," he said, "Now hopefully we can figure this ghost out, so we can finally prove to Aizen-sama that Tousen really is a ghost. Then Aizen will truly be happy with me."

"Well you've worked hard," said Mizuiro, "Good things are bound to happen."

"Yeah, we'll get that ghost!" Ggio grinned.

"Bawww, I love you guys!" Gin declared, at once letting go of the ropes to fling his arms around his two Tousen-busting subordinates, not even minding as a dull 'thud' and 'oww' announced Luppi's sudden and speedy trip back to the ground. The poor she-male Arrancar had no time to comprehend what was going on, before being swept up in Gin's wave of love. It was team ghost-bust's first group hug and a proud moment for us all.

Aizen and Carp smiled as they watched from behind a tree.

"It's working," Aizen said with a broad smile and a sparkle in his eye, "My Arrancar are beginning to really love each other, just as I always intended. Look at that beautiful bromance!"

"Indeed," Carp agreed, "At it's finest and most natural. Reminds me of old times."

Aizen looked over to him, the twinkling not leaving his eyes.

"Anyway," Carp interjected as he stood. 'Aizen' and 'Bromancing' did not bode well with him.

"There's a few things I need to discuss with you. Come along."

* * *

The girls bedroom was alive with gossip and chatter, but diminished when Mila Rose entered, concern straining her features.

"Hey, do you know what's up with Tesla?" she asked, "He hasn't seemed his normal self today…"

Apache scowled, "Its all that jerk Nnoitra's fault."

"And how would you know that?" Mila Rose enquired.

"Sun-Sun and I saw them last night outside the bathroom block," Apache responded.

The fellow fraccion raised an eyebrow. "You were spying on them? Aizen would be proud."

"It wasn't like that! We just happened to be there. Anyways…Nnoitra was really mean to him. Tesla was just trying to help."

"That idiot Nnoitra…"

"He's such a jerk!"

As her fraccion gossiped about the camp's latest happenings, Halibell met up with Starrk at the usual place. This time, they were accompanied by Tatsuki. The girl had done her own research, and she too had begun questioning a number of things.

"I found this," Tatsuki lifted an old bound book, "It's Murry's memoirs."

Halibell and Starrk took the next few moments to briefly flick through the book, skimming over some of the important points. It was kinda boring actually. Most entries detailed outdoor adventures and fishing trips.

"Strange, isn't it?" Tatsuki said after they were done, "That Murry would go so far just to take over the camp…he really didn't seem like the type. And then there's the whole ghost issue."

"I have this gut feeling that that assistant Hanri has something to do with all this," Halibell commented. "Those vibes he gave off while caving yesterday…"

"But Hanri couldn't be older than his early twenties, could he?" Tatsuki questioned.

Starrk shrugged, "You never know…if anything he could be a descendant or something like Carp is. I never actually asked them if they were related, Carp could be an older cousin or something."

"Let's think about Larry for a moment," Tatsuki interjected. "Apparently, he was shot by his brother in order to take over leadership of the camp…"

"Then do you think the ghost is…?"

"I wouldn't doubt it. The ghost is Larry Mitchelson. Carp is the heir of Murry, and the only one left for Larry to take vengeance on. Suppose Hanri is assisting him…"

"Maybe it's all he can do to put his heart at rest so he can pass on," Starrk suggested, "Or maybe Carp is as dangerous as his great grandfather, and the ghost…well, Larry wants to stop him before history repeats itself and Carp gets someone killed in his stupid camp activities."

"If you don't mind, we'll read over this some more," Halibell said, taking the old diary from Tatsuki. "Well maybe _I_ will. Depends how energetic Starrk feels. And then we'll confront either Hanri or Carp on the matter tomorrow at full moon. When the ghost is supposedly at full reign."

"Killing his twin brother to take over the camp seems pretty extreme," Starrk considered, "And from the copies of those old memoirs, Murry doesn't seem like the guy who'd do such a thing."

Halibell frowned, taking an old photo of Murry into her hands. "Murry Mitchelson…" she studied the old photograph, "Just what were your motives?"

* * *

Grimmjow cleared his throat. "Ulquiorra."

Said Espada looked over, and Grimmjow indicated to Carp and Aizen, who were slowly leaving the campsite in hushed conversation.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Grimmjow asked his pale accomplice.

"I don't know," Ulquiorra responded, "But there's one way of finding out."

Five minutes later, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra were squatting in an animal pen, the enriching scent of hay mingling with sheep dung wafting by steadily as they listened to Aizen and Carp converse nearby.

"…I'm telling you it's pointless," Carp's voice was muffled but carried evident frustration. "What's done is done and I don't plan on returning."

"All the same, this wont go unheard of forever," Aizen's voice sounded. "You really haven't changed much at all, you know that?"

Carp laughed, but there was no mirth.

"Your assistant seems to know what he's doing," Aizen supplied.

"Hanri? Yes, he's been working with me for a while. I guess he feels somewhat responsible for what happened, although it was long before he was born."

"I see," said Aizen, "And what of those documents from back then?"

There was a short pause before Carp responded. "It's all safe and sound. Filed away in the ninth, so it's not quite always in the same spot either."

"Very well," Aizen said, "We'll continue this conversation later. I have a special performance in mind for my Arrancar tonight."

Dull crunching sounded and faded out at Carp and Aizen headed back over to the campsite. Once they were sure the two leaders were gone, both Espada turned to each other.

"Number nine…"

"What do you think that means?" asked Grimmjow as he detached a sheep that was busily gnawing on his bright blue hair.

"I'm not too sure," responded Ulquiorra thoughtfully, "But something important seems to be stored there…something that could give us answers."

Grimmjow scratched his head whilst frowning, before coming to a sudden conclusion, "Aaroniero."

"Hmm? What about him?"

"He's number nine. Maybe there's something stored in his tank head."

Ulquiorra scowled and shoved a sheep out of his lap. "I don't think so, that would be weird. Besides, Aaroniero isn't the only thing that's a number nine. The way they were talking about the 'ninth' it seems to be some sort of room."

"One of the accommodation rooms?" Grimmjow wondered, looking to the building situated on the other side of the field of cows.

"A room that's 'not quite always in the same spot'. What I'm saying it perhaps there's some place…sometimes within this camp, sometimes not…that holds the number nine…"

Grimmjow frowned in contemplation, "So maybe…the train?"

Ulquiorra nodded, "I think it's about time we gave compartment number nine another visit…"

* * *

"Darn that Zommari," Aaroniero whined, "He just had to go and smoke our last tent. That magic mushroom-puffing jerk."

"Well at least it's our last night," Szayel convinced him, "Some time tomorrow, we escape. The two of you won't mind sharing Yammy's tent with him for just tonight."

Aaroniero continued his inaudible whining as Szayel wandered through the shed. As he mindlessly browsed, he noticed something that caught his eye. Bending to the ground, he picked it up.

"Hmmm…" he said, whilst inspecting it. "Its just like that Banana-fish monster thing Zommari found this morning…but it looks as though it's missing a piece."

Aaroniero looked down at the hay-covered ground momentarily, before quickly scurrying over to another odd piece of material.

"Maybe they fit together?" he suggested.

Szayel edged closer, as the two bought the pieces of material together, as though they were a two-piece puzzle.

"What…is this?" Aaroniero asked in almost grotesque amusement.

"…It looks like some sort of skull," Szayel observed, "It has fins though…I couldn't tell you what it means."

"Let's leave," Aaroniero said suddenly.

"Yeah, lets. If we don't get over to the campsite for dinner soon enough, Aizen will do something questionable again."

* * *

It was well after dark when Grimmjow sent the signal. Some of the Arrancar had wandered off to bed, whilst the others remained around the campfire where they either participated in or grudgingly put up with Aizen's nightly musical performances. Ulquiorra had to admit they were getting more and more spectacular by the night; at first Aizen had used nothing more than a timid acoustic guitar, but now their great leader went full out, complete with fireworks and sparkles. Either way, it was enough of a distraction for Ulquiorra to slip away with Tesla in tow, unnoticed. Not far beyond the orange glow of the campfire, they assembled with the blue-haired Espada.

"You got Tesla?" Grimmjow questioned, though he really didn't need to seeing as said fraccion stood right in front of him.

Ulquiorra nodded. "Is Nnoitra here?"

To answer his question, the spoonspada came tumbling out of the nearby toilet block, muttering something incomprehensible.

"Oh, good," the Quattro Espada murmured, before both he and Grimmjow were met by a slight complication.

The Fifth Espada and his fraccion were staring at each other unblinkingly. This staring contest lasted almost a minute, before Nnoitra turned and scowled at the two other Espada.

"Alright," he said, "You've got us. Nice try, guys."

"Huh?" Grimmjow and Ulquiorra tilted their heads to the side in confusion.

"Don't play dumb," Nnoitra snapped, "That row between Tesla and I has probably been the talk of the campsite all day. Who put you up to this? Aizen? One of the girls? Or did you both decide to do this yourselves?"

"…You had a fight?" Ulquiorra questioned, briefly recalling gossip he may have heard between some of the girls earlier in the day.

"No shit," said Nnoitra bitterly as Tesla silently starred at his scuffling feet.

Ulquiorra sighed. "We don't have time for this," he stated plainly, before continuing, "Look, you're either coming with us or you're not. All you need to do is stand outside the train and keep a look out. You don't need to talk, you don't need to even look at each other. Grimmjow and I just ask that you do this for five minutes, and then we'll share our findings with you."

Nnoitra and Tesla murmured to themselves for a moment, before agreeing and they were on their way.

The walk over to the train platform didn't take as long as expected. Grimmjow guessed it was because they were far more used to the campsite's terrain now. Also, there weren't many cows out, and were a fair way off from any so Nnoitra didn't make a scene. Fortunately they didn't have to confront any undesired hindrances such as ghosts or camp instructors either, so all went very smoothly. Almost too smoothly, in fact.

"Ah, we're here," Ulquiorra pointlessly announced as the four of them arrived before the Happy Express.

It looked spookishly surreal in the deep, cold night setting with the late night fog and mist swimming around it, seemingly ghost-like.

"I'm not going in there!" Nnoitra declared at once.

"Well we weren't gonna ask you to," Grimmjow retorted. "All you need to do is keep watch."

"Keep watch. Right." Nnoitra repeated to himself as he looked up and down the platform as though to smite any oncoming opponent.

"Are you ready, Grimmjow?" Ulquiorra enquired.

"Yes," Grimmjow nodded, "Lets go."

* * *

_I__ bet__ the__ two__ of__ them__ planned__ this__…__those__ jerks__…_ Nnoitra thought to himself as he absentmindedly frowned down on his smaller fraccion.

Tesla seemed to be lost in thought, before accidentally locking eye contact with the spoon-like Espada.

"WHAT'RE YOU LOOKIN AT?" Nnoitra blurted out at once.

"Master Nnoitra," Tesla began tactfully.

_Is __he__ mocking__ me?__ He__ wouldn__'__t__…_Nnoitra glared.

"I briefly looked at you for a second," the fraccion continued, "You must have been watching me for longer in order to know that I happened to look. Rather, you happened to be standing where I was looking."

"Yeah? Well you're stupid, Tesla!"

Too caught up in their lame argument, the two didn't even notice as a dark shadow came over them…

* * *

Ulquiorra and Grimmjow hurried as fast as they dared along the familiar corridor of the Happy Express, stealing glances at the compartments either side of them as they went. It was almost nostalgic. Whilst it had been little over a week since their departure to this fated campsite, it felt like far longer. Finally, they reached the end of the train where compartment number nine awaited them. Ulquiorra gulped. Their last experience within this large compartment had not been a nice one. But surely this visit would be far less horrendous, no matter what was waiting for them within the depths. He exchanged a glance with Grimmjow, who seemed to be having the same thoughts, before the two of them pushed open the doors to the final compartment.

It was just as they'd left it, (hopefully) minus one eccentric Arrancar. Only this time, they were on the lookout for something, anything that may assist in their investigation.

"There," Grimmjow muttered after a while.

Ulquiorra remembered it from last time, the old filing compartment in the corner. Cautiously, they approached it. Reaching out a hand, Grimmjow slid the top-filing draw from its lodge. With an aluminium grunt, the top draw and the two bellow it swung open. Wait…swung? Ulquiorra looked on in confusion as Grimmjow stooped down to peer inside the now open filing compartment.

"It's not a filing compartment…" he reported, "It's a door. There's a room in there!"

"Well what are you waiting for?" Ulquiorra asked, "Let's go in."

Grimmjow didn't need the pale Espada to urge him, and crept on through Ulquiorra close behind.

The room was fairly small, and only taken up by what resembled an old work desk. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra exchanged a glance before Ulquiorra's hand slowly crept towards the draws, retracting the top one with a dull creak. Inside were a few sheets of paper, which Ulquiorra pulled out.

"What does it say?" Grimmjow asked as Ulquiorra used his acute night vision to make out the scribing on one of them.

Ulquiorra's brow furrowed in confusion. "I'm not quite sure…" he responded, "But…it says something about the Soul Society…"

"The Soul Society?" Grimmjow questioned, "What do the Shinigami have to do with this?"

"Don't know…" Ulquiorra said, his eyes continuing to scan the page, "Shut up for a bit."

Grimmjow grudgingly complied, before Ulquiorra spoke again a moment later, enquiry in his voice.

"How old do you think Carp is?" he asked.

"He doesn't look any older than Aizen," Grimmjow shrugged.

"Yes, but how old would Aizen be really? In years, I mean."

"Probably old enough to be our mother…"

"Ew. Don't say it like that."

"Well he _does_call us his children. Especially you, his beloved Ulqui. I've heard there's even a framed photo of you in the bedroom in his cabin."

"You're just jealous."

Grimmjow was about to protest, when he noticed a dull shadow creep across the compartment in the moonlight.

Both Espada jumped back, only to see a sight they had not been anticipating.

Ulquiorra frowned in confusion. "Hanri?"

The young camp assistant nodded as he approached. "Yes. Me."

"What are you doing here? Where are Tesla and that idiot spoon?" Grimmjow demanded.

Hanri chuckled, "Shouldn't _I_ be asking what _you__'__re_ doing here?"

Grimmjow and Ulquiorra remained silent.

"No?" Hanri's eyes trailed across to the open desk draws and the paper in Ulquiorra's hands. "I'll have you know…the boss is more merciful then I. He lives up to his name, though I suppose I do too…My surname isn't 'Ososhini' for nothing, you know."

Grimmjow's frown deepened to a scowl. "'Oso'…'Osoi'…that means late or slow, right?"

"And 'Shini' means death," Ulquiorra supplied.

"Slow…death?"

Hanri nodded, a feeling somewhat akin to regret reflected in his eyes. At the same time, an unearthly mist seemed to envelope the small room in a vaporous wave.

"I apologise in advance for what I now have to do. But you know too much."

**Next****Time:**The day preceding the night of the full moon. Begin, the climax. Ulquiorra and Grimmjow find themselves abandoned in the far reaches of the forest with no means of navigation, and as the Arrancar get worked up over their comrades' disappearances, Starrk and Halibell come to a last minute conclusion that changes everything.

* * *

**A few things~ There is a poll upon my profile, so check it our and vote :)  
Secondly, the lovely _Bracket__the__Indecie_ has done an article on my fanfiction. She has a blog on fanfiction related shenanidings, so check it out (removing the spaces, obviously): http : / ficsforkicks . blogspot . com/  
And lastly, calling all One Piece fans! It's time for some shameless self-promotion - check out my new story GETSUTide. It's a crossover with Bleach, so I'm sure you will appreciate it. I know that some of you have already had a look at it and are enjoying it, and it will become my main focus once this story is over (which will be fairly soon). And if you haven't read/watched One Piece, I encourage you to do so; it is an absolutely brilliant series. If you like the humour I have in this story you will love OP, I guarantee you ;)**

**See you soon!**


	12. What goes on in the forest STAYS THERE!

**The other day I realised that Tesla refers to Nnoitra as 'Nnoitra-sama' at the start of the story, but 'Master Nnoitra' later and many derps were herped. On the subject of my derps, I'd like to thank RukiaGallega for pointing out that I'd been incorrectly using the Italian 'Quattro' instead of the Spanish 'Cuatro' when referring to Ulquiorra's Espada number. Well you know, Ulqui _is _voiced by Italy. But thanks for clearing that up! I will fix those derps. Anyways, after this only two more chapters and a short epilogue! And I'm posting from my new laptop :D Here we go…**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: What goes on in the forest…STAYS IN THE FOREST.**

_Dear Diary,_

_We're nearing the end of this camp from hell. Just a couple more days. However, the idiots who're holding me captive have just finished their 'brilliant escape means'. You'd think they could hold on another two days until they could actually go home, right? But oh no, they want to be all dramatic and escape on their own accord. –sighs- When all this is over, I'm going to need to see a shrink twice as badly as I normally do. _

_Hmm…I think I can hear something going on outside…I wonder what happened…guess I'll go check it out…_

_-Keigo_

Keigo tumbled over a sleeping Starrk and out of the tent into the fresh morning air. Getting to his feet, he proceeded to wander over to a cluster of nearby Arrancar, who were talking in hurried voices.

"Wha's up?" he asked them dumbly.

"It's Ulquiorra, Nnoitra, Grimmjow and Tesla," explained Luppi, "They're gone! We've looked everywhere, but there's no sign of them."

"Drat!" cursed Szayel as he joined the conversation. "It seems those four idiots beat us in escaping. Very well then. Come, men. We must get a move on."

And with that, Keigo was lead away with the freaks as Luppi said something that sounded something along the lines of 'abduction' and 'ghost'.

Meanwhile, Aizen was worse for wear.

"Oh Gin..." he blubbered, "My Arrancar babies are disappearing! It's just like that song I sang on the way here about the ten little ducks! And to think, I thought I'd be clever and put an Espada twist to it! I jinxed us Gin, I really jinxed us!"

"There, there Aizen," Gin deadpanned as he gently pat his great leader's back. Truth be told, he'd much rather be elsewhere. It was true that it would be interesting to look into the four's disappearance to see if it had anything to do with the camp's phantom and Tousen, but Aizen's reaction to the entire scenario was cutting into valuable ghost-hunting time.

The sound of approaching footsteps and a figure dressed in naught but a bathrobe announced the arrival of none other than Carp.

"What seems to be the problem over here?" he asked the distraught Aizen.

"It's my Arrancar babies!" Aizen replied, "They've gone missing."

"They've probably just gone for an early morning stroll," Carp assured him, "Besides, it's such a nice day for it! Who could blame them, really?"

"Oh…" Aizen looked at the flawless blue sky, "I guess so. In that case, it's so good that they are bonding together enough to take a morning hike!"

"That's right, Aizen-sama!" Gin agreed, intent on having Aizen buy what was likely not the truth for now.

* * *

It was warm. Really, really warm…kinda strange, considering he was lying against a large bolder on a cold forest floor. Unless…

Grimmjow opened his eyes and looked down. He instantly wished he hadn't, although he _did _find the source of his warmth. A flood of memories from the night before came back to him all at once.

_Grimmjow stood and shook himself off, before being sent to the forest floor again as Ulquiorra plummeted into him._

"_Oww…" the Cuatro Espada whined, still not entirely used to the weak human-like gigai._

It was then that he realised he was positioned very awkwardly on top of Grimmjow. Quickly, the smaller Espada shuffled off and the two began aimlessly making their way through the woods. Soon, the two Espada had grown tired, and decided to rest on the eastern side of the boulder, away from the wind. However, that hadn't stopped the cold. Thinking of how angry Aizen would be with him if he let his little Ulqui get sick, Grimmjow had instinctively lent his own body warmth to his companion.

And now…Grimmjow looked down again. Ulquiorra was curled tightly into his side, and snuggling. _Snuggling! _Grimmjow himself was not exempt from this snuggling; had one arm positioned protectively around the smaller Espada's middle, and the other securely around his front. Grimmjow shuddered as the still sleeping Ulquiorra snuggled in even closer. Well this wasn't awkward. Not at all. Grimmjow almost laughed at his own sarcasm, but was in no position to move at all, let alone simply shove Ulquiorra away without waking him and making the situation even more awkward. He looked down again, to Ulquiorra's sleeping face. He looked so…tranquil…the scowl he usually wore was gone and he looked so utterly small, young and defenceless. Grimmjow subconsciously held the other Espada closer, as he continued to take in his delicate, sleeping features. He looked kinda cu-no. Hell no. Grimmjow Jeagerjaques was NOT about to admit the Ulquiorra Schiffer looked cute. 'Cause he didn't, right? Grimmjow shook his head, trying to snap himself into the reality of the situation. So he and Ulquiorra were stranded in the middle of the forest with nobody but each other, were currently snuggling, and Grimmjow may or may not have just been checking the other out in his sleep. Great. Just great. Grimmjow held his breath and tried not to panic. He felt just like a character in an over-clichéd yaoi fanfiction.

_I'm straight damnit! _He assured himself.

A warm brushing feeling against his arm indicated Ulquiorra was beginning to stir. Quickly, Grimmjow retracted his arms from around the other's body and shuffled away.

"Morning, Grimmjow," Ulquiorra murmured, rolling over and stretching. "Wait..." he took in their surroundings. "Last night…"

"Yeah," Grimmjow nodded, "Seems we knew too much…but there's no time to worry about that now. We're lost."

Ulquiorra stood and brushed his clothing off. "What do you suggest?"

"Well…" said Grimmjow, standing and taking in their surroundings. "Stranded in the wilderness…think…what would Bear Grylls do?…Damn, what WOULDN'T Bear Grylls do?…Well he wouldn't go hungry, that's for sure! Come Ulquiorra, let's find something to eat. Ulquiorra?"

Grimmjow turned, only to see his companion already tucking into a wild berry bush.

"Hey, stop you idiot! Don't just eat them without knowing what they are! They could be poisonous!"

"Mfoo mffaah?" It was too late. Ulquiorra had already stuffed his mouth with the fruit and was holding extra bunches in either hand.

"Uhhh, great," Grimmjow groaned as Ulquiorra swallowed. "Any idea what those are going to do to you?"

Ulquiorra shrugged and the two continued to aimlessly wander through the forest in search of any trail that might leave them _somewhere_.

* * *

"Ugh...finally got away from Aizen..." Gin sighed in relief as he joined with his ghost busting team behind the toilet block.

"What's he doing now?" Luppi asked.

"He's sitting on the bed," Gin answered, "Just staring at that photograph of Ulquiorra he has. It's his way of mourning I guess. But we've got to get to the bottom of this. It's clear that whatever was behind those four disappearing has something to do with the ghost."

"So now what?" Mizuiro asked.

"Now?" Gin questioned, "We stalk Tousen…and find answers…"

"Tonight is the night of the full moon," Ggio reported, "We need to catch the ghost before it catches _us…_"

"Exactly," Gin nodded. "Right. We should split into two pairs. Mizuiro, Ggio, you'll watch over Tousen and try to exploit him and find out information on how he's been communication with the ghost. It would arouse less suspicion from him if it were you two rather than Luppi or me. The two of us will scout out the surrounding woods to see if we can find any traces of the ghost or its four victims from last night."

"Right!" the other three agreed, before the two sets of two dispersed.

* * *

"It is time," Szayel said proudly as he looked on at the magnificently-sized shape before him, "It is complete."

On cue, Aaroniero and Zommari sprung up out of nowhere and pulled the large sheet that had been concealing the expansive structure off. Keigo's eyes widened at the sight. Before him sat a large basket constructed from the various items they'd collected during their time at the camp. Above the basket was an unlit torch-like device and varying sheets of material draped down over the basket's rails, held in place with iron ropes.

"I call it…" Szayel said dramatically, "The Balloon!"

"Seriously?" Keigo questioned, an eyebrow raised as the other two applauded the mad scientist's naming skills.

"A brilliant name, don't you think?" Szayel questioned him.

"Uhh…I guess…"

"All aboard The Balloon!" Szayel declared, seemingly having ignored Keigo's response.

Before Keigo knew it, he had been ushered into the large basket. It was quite spacious, complete with benched to sit on, a table and a single deck of cards to play with. But other that, it was quite boring.

. "Do I _have _to come?" he questioned, pouting.

"Of course you do~" Aaroniero said in what was his best attempt at a sexy voice.

"It was part of the deal, remember," Szayel said, "You overheard us, so you had to join us in plans and construction and now you have to accompany us in our great and spectacular escapade. It would do no good if you were to escape from the escape team now, would it?"

Keigo groaned as Zommari eyed the air balloon's gas tank longingly. This was going to be a long escapade.

After about half an hour of scrambling and packing, the four settled into the large basket and Aaroniero lit the hot air flame. Slowly, the large sheet of material inflated in a bulging balloon shape. And gradually, the basket containing the three Espada and the fretting camp assistant lifted off the ground and up, up, up into the air, before Camp Happy Clap was nothing but a small patch of green turf amongst the vegetation of the vast forest…

* * *

"What could have happened to them?" Tatsuki asked as she, Starrk and Halibell sat around a would-be campfire.

"Who knows?" Starrk lethargically droned as he whipped sleep from his eyes. "But the circumstances are a bit suspicious…"

"I'll say," Halibell commented with a frown. "I was watching them last night. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra, I mean…at some point they disappeared with Nnoitra and Tesla. That's the last we saw of them."

"I think they headed in that direction," Tatsuki said, nodding toward the distant train station, "But what could they have gone there for…"

A sudden and definite sound of footsteps and crunching over leaves and sticks sounded, and the tree turned to see a certain spoonspada coming their way.

"Nnoitra?" Starrk questioned, an eyebrow raised.

The other Espada took a moment to catch his breath, before frantically beginning.

"It…" he started, erratic, "It was that Hanri!"

"Hanri?" Halibell asked with a frown, exchanging a glance with Starrk.

Nnoitra nodded. "Last night. Ulquiorra and Grimmjow had become suspicious over something and went to investigate some lead back in one of the train compartments. They had Tesla and I keep watch, but then Hanri came by. He said something about his last name and not being as merciful as his boss. And then he took us away! I don't know what happened to Tesla, and I haven't seen the other two either. As far as I know, I'm the only one who escaped…"

" 'Not as merciful as his boss', he said?" Halibell queried.

"Hmm…" Starrk mused, "Suppose….the ghost isn't Larry at all…but rather…"

Tatsuki frowned. "You're not saying…"

"It's exactly what I'm suggesting," Starrk answered.

"What? What are you suggesting?" Nnoitra asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Yes, I've had my suspicions as well," Halibell said, ignoring the Spoonspada, "And we should make our move tonight, before _he _does."

* * *

"Ugh…come _on_!" Grimmjow exasperatedly dragged the other Espada along behind him.

It seemed those berries were taking their toll. Ulquiorra had gone insane. First he was hyper and springing from tree to tree like a ninja. Then he'd become violent and had kept trying to slap Grimmjow. After this had come the emotional phase, in which he'd continuously and tearfully told Grimmjow how he was such a good friend and really meant a lot to him. And now…the Cuatro Espada was spacing out.

"Oi, Ulquiorra," Grimmjow said, snapping his fingers in front of the other's unseeing eyes, "Get a hold of yourself!"

"Grimmy…" Ulquiorra droned, "Why is your hair bleeeeeeeew?"

"Because it is, you idiot!" Grimmjow snapped.

"And where's Ai-chan?"

"Ai-chan…" Grimmjow deadpanned.

Ulquiorra looked on expectantly.

"You mean Aizen?" Grimmjow questioned.

But Ulquiorra had found interest in other places. Before Grimmjow knew it, the other Espada had latched on to the bottom of a large tree and began ascending.

"Oi, don't go up there!" Grimmjow snapped, before following him up.

* * *

Keigo was slouched over one of the basket's rails, watching as the wilderness glided by beneath them. It was an interesting view, though Keigo was beginning to doze off. Until something from below caught his eye.

"Hmmm?" he strained his sight to a figure down in the trees, before alerting the other three. "Hey…down there…aren't those Ulquiorra and Grimmjow?"

At once, the other three hurried over to Keigo's side of the basket, causing it to tip, and Szayel frantically try to righten it again. After much scrambling, the balloon was directed and lowered to where the other two Espada were.

"Hey! Grimmjow! Ulquiorra!"

Ulquiorra was first to look up, and gave an uncharacteristic smile. "Hey guys! That's a funny looking thing you're flying in! Is it…a mushroom?"

"I think so…" Zommari said, glad to have met someone on his level of…well, his level.

Grimmjow's response however, was quite different.

"Gyaaaa!" the blue-haired Espada hollered upon sighting them. Before letting his go of his hold of the tree and swiftly plummeting to the forest floor below.

"Oh dear…" Szayel sighed.

* * *

Not long later, the escape team found itself with two unexpected recruits.

"So," Szayel questioned Grimmjow, who was nursing a bruised buttocks, "When was it that you decided to escape?"

"We never decided to escape," Grimmjow answered.

"Oh? Then why is it that you well…escaped?"

"Ask him," Grimmjow inclined his head to indicate over to Ulquiorra.

The Cuatro however, was partaking in an animate discussion with Zommari, and the two seemed to be discussing a number of topics that were beyond the scope of any of the other four's comprehension.

"Uhh…in that case, maybe don't ask him just yet," Grimmjow said, before suddenly dousing Ulquiorra with a bottle of cold water.

Whilst the other was busily spluttering, Grimmjow told of how his and Ulquiorra's suspicions had been raised, the train compartment, what had been seen there and-

"Nnoitra and Tesla!" Grimmjow suddenly realised, "Those idiots must have dogged us!"

"Hmmm?" Aaroniero questioned, "You mean they're not with you?"

"Huh?"

"Everyone back at the camp was assuming those two disappeared with you," Aaroniero explained.

"Really?" Ulquiorra asked as he returned to sanity, "So those two _were _captured…"

"Hanri…" Grimmjow uttered.

"Huh?" Keigo looked down in confusion.

Grimmjow explained the rest of the story, Hanri's confrontation, what he had said, and being deposited in the forest.

" 'His boss…'" Szayel repeated. "Would that be Carp? What was his name again…Carpasai Hayashini?"

" 'Fast death'" Ulquiorra observed.

There was silence, before.

"Hey…I can see the Banana-Fish monster!" came Zommari's voice as he peered over the rail.

"Not now, Zommari," Szayel groaned.

"Uhh…" Keigo said, now also peering over the rail, "You guys might wanna come and take a look at this…"

The others in turn peered down from their respective positions, only to look on in shock.

"It can't be…" Szayel breathed.

Before them lay an odd shaping of trees. The circle perimeter was structured as a lunar calendar showing each of the eight major phases, from New Moon, to crescent, to half and finally finishing at full. The Full Moon was illuminated to stand out itself, as though the night that contained it held some significance. But what was even more disturbing was what was positioned inside this circle. A skull, yet fish-like embodiment, exactly akin to the strange markings and structures around the camp-site.

"What does this mean?" Zommari asked no one in particular.

"I'm not sure…But all we know is that Hanri and Carp are up to something…" Ulquiorra stated, before indicating to the full moon on the lunar cycle, "And whatever it is they're planning, it's going to come to action on the night of the full moon."

"Tonight…" Szayel frowned.

"What will we do?" Grimmjow questioned, "I mean…it's not like I _like _the others or anything…but we've got to warn them about this, right?"

"It's true," Aaroniero said, "You know, I've always hated the lot of you, and not just because you all outrank me. Szayel, you're such a fag. Zommari, you're the biggest space-cake I've ever met and that's _really _saying something. Grimmjow, you're a huge douche and Ulquiorra, you're suck a suck-up and priss. But whilst I still hate you all as much as I always have, this camp has helped me realise one thing while working with you lot. We're a family! And while I still hate you, I also love you very much."

Szayel had been moved to tears. "Why Aaroniero, I never knew you felt that way!"

"Shut up, fag! I haven't finished," Aaroniero snapped before continuing. "I've come to realise that I lovingly hate the others just as much as I do you guys. And it would be a downright shame if the rest of our shitty family were to meet their end at the hands of Hanri and that ghost!"

"He's right," Ulquiorra nodded.

"I agree," Keigo said, "And then there's my friends! I don't want them to be pulled into all this. You know, I say we turn this balloon around and head back to camp. I'm not completely sure what these Hanri or Carp guys have planned, or what it has to do with the ghost, but I say that whatever it is they're trying to do…we storm back there and stop them! Are you guys with me?"

"Of course," said Ulquiorra, "You have my word."

"And my sword," added Grimmjow, even though Pantera wasn't on him.

"And my bong," Zommari decided to join in.

"And my tank," added Aaroniero.

"And my gayness," Szayel concluded.

"Well then," Keigo smirked, surveying the five Espada before him, "Let's go bust this ghost..."

…

Half an hour later, the epic balloon touched back down at Camp Happy-Clap. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra leapt out.

"Aren't you coming?" Ulquiorra asked, looking at the others who were still aboard the balloon.

"We're coming," responded Szayel, "But we'll be a little behind…there's one last thing we want to check out."

"Fair enough," Grimmjow shrugged.

"Ulquiorra! Grimmjow!" Aizen's voice came as the balloon lifted off once again.

"Ahh…Aizen…" Ulquiorra noted.

"My children have returned to me!" their Great Leader lamented, "I was so worried!"

"I'm sure you were," Grimmjow deadpanned.

"There's no time for this, Aizen-sama," Ulquiorra said, cutting to the chase. "We're not 100% sure what's going on, but we know that Carp and Hanri are up to something. And their plan comes to climax tonight…whatever it is, we have to stop them. We need to warn the others!"

Aizen remained silent as he listened to what his favourite Espada was saying.

"Very well," he nodded after a moment, "Let the others know."

Without a second thought, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra sped towards the campsite.

As Aizen watched his Espada run off, he shut his eyes and deeply exhaled.

"And so it begins…"

* * *

The sun had set. Full Moon was nigh. And Barrigan, as old as ever, was taking an evening stroll in the camp's outer yards, right by the lake. If he was aware of the ghostly shadow following him, he did not show notice for a long time. Or at least until he reached the lakes end.

The old Espada stopped his walking, turned and looked the ghost in the eye. "I thought I might find you out here," he said to it, before looking at the circle of the silver moon in the sky, "This being Full moon and all…through our conversations, I figured this was your materialising spot. Not to mention I can see a lot from up in the top floor of Aizen's cabin…"

A smile graced the ghost's lips from beneath it's dark hood.

"So you figured it out…" it spoke in its airy, seemingly unnatural voice, before revealing a captured Tesla tucked away under an arm. "But I'm afraid I've already got what I came here for."

"Stop," a voice came from the shadows, capturing the attention of both Barrigan and the ghost.

The two wheeled around to see Starrk, Halibell and Tatsuki emerge.

"Seems I have a lot of company tonight," the ghost remarked.

"We know who you are," Halibell said.

"Now stop trying to hide, and show yourself," Starrk ordered, "This was where your brother was killed, wasn't it Murry? Though I think you've abandoned that name. Isn't that right? Carpasai Hayashini."

**Next Time: **With the true identity of the ghost revealed, the Arrancar must now all work together to bring him down before all hell breaks loose!

* * *

**Gasp. Not much left now! Stay tuned for the next chapter.**


	13. Ten Little Espada

**Thanks for the feedback~ Not much longer now, guys! Special mention goes to my friend Alexis, as I am currently typing this on her butt, though she keeps moving…This chapter is slightly shorter than it would have been, as I decided to cut the original ending of it and paste it into the start of the next chapter 'cause the flow was better that way. Here is chapter thirteen!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: Ten Little Espada**

The ghost drifted luminously through the clearing, an almost blindingly white grin gracing its milky features as Starrk, Halibell, Tatsuki and Barrigan looked on.

"Very well," the voice they'd come to know as Carp's spoke from beneath the dark hood, before the entire garment was blasted off, fully flaunting the entirety of the Ghost's chalky complexion.

"I told you to word it differently," Halibell sighed, diverting her gaze from no-longer-only-almost blinding sight.

"We both know he would have done it anyway," Starrk said with a shrug. "He doesn't need an excuse to take those clothes off."

"Well now that that's been taken care of," Carp said as he slipped the clothing back on, "It seems that now I have other matters to tend to."

He began slowly advancing on his gathered spectators.

"I knew it," Barrigan admitted, "You were dead all along, Carp."

"How long have you known the truth, may I ask?"

"Not long after Hanri first spoke of Camp Happy Clap's resident ghost," replied Barrigan. "Something about it seemed fishy, as well as the conversations I shared with you. It was strange that Carp the camp instructor never appeared to us after sundown or before sunrise. It didn't take long to figure out that Carp was the ghost, though I figured I'd wait until tonight to make this confrontation. Though it seems these other two Espada and human found other leads to decipher your identity."

"Oh?" Carp continued advancing, the form of Tesla still tucked away on his person. "How is it you know that name you called me by?"

"We know because we did our research," Halibell said.

"Your name was Murry," said Starrk, "But you had a twin brother named Larry."

Carp nodded. "That is correct."

"Together, the two of you helped found this camp over one hundred years ago," Halibell supplied.

"That is correct."

"But there was an argument between the two of you. You killed your brother and died not that long after yourself."

"And now you can't move on, so you and Hanri have been abducting people who find out your secret."

"Those statements contain truth," Carp replied with a frown, "However, just how much of it is actual truth I won't say. Any matter, it is clear the lot of you know too much. But it's too late now. The full moon will allow me to accomplish my goal tonight, starting with this Arrancar here and you lot subsequently. I'll deal with the rest later."

Carp came to a halt midway through the clearing. Illuminated by the cloud-covered light of the full moon, a pair of gravestones sat before them.

"I commend you for figuring this out," he commented snidely, "I'd expect no less of Aizen-sama's three elites. As much as I've been enjoying your recount of my past, now you've seen my true form. I must dispose of you…"

He withdrew from his robes a strange weapon resembling a spear, which he proceeded to thrust up into the sky, preparing for some manner of attack. However, an abrupt voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Hold it right there, ghosty!"

Lilynette had entered the clearing, along with Apache, Mila-Rose and Sun-Sun. The four girls were positioned not far behind Starrk, Tatsuki and Halibell, evidently having followed them into the forest.

"Halibell and Starrk filled us in enough," Apache said.

"You killed your brother," said Mila-Rose, "And your guilt has kept you here."

Clouds drifted from obscuring the full moon, casting light over the twin graves of Larry and Murry.

"An interesting conclusion," Carp noted. "Now regardless if you mind or not, I have work to do…"

As Carp proceeded to hold the spear to the sky, Halibell turned to Starrk.

"Can you sense it?" she breathed across to him, "There's an uneasy sort of reiatsu about him…"

"Now you mention it…" Starrk realised, recognising the dark presence leaking from somewhere within Carp.

"What's he doing?" Tatsuki questioned.

After a moment, Carp discarded the spear to the side, seemingly satisfied by whatever it was he was doing.

"And now…" Carp said, "I must dispose of the lot of you…"

The group gathered in the clearing looked on in anticipation as a glowing bead of energy began forming at Carp's fingertips.

"He must have used the spear to gather energy," Halibell observed.

"Remember the plan," Starrk muttered, standing in preparation.

The surrounding Arrancar gave a nod and took formation. Being in sealed gigais was a nuisance, and required more cooperation than ever when it came to tasks such as these. The glowing energy festered for a moment, before exploding outwards towards the ghost's gathered onlookers.

"Now!" Mila-Rose ordered in a war-cry.

The gathered Arrancar and human all withdrew assorted pieces of women's clothing and accessories, including a stylish brown skirt and Prada man bag.

"W-what?" Carp stammered, observing the assorted clothing articles that were brandished before them.

"It's working!" Apache grinned, "Clothing—_women's _clothing is his weakness!"

"Take this!" Lilynette cried, loading a bra with a handful of pebbles and hauling it at Carp. It missed.

"…Am I the only one who's concerned that Aizen had all this in his cabin?" Starrk questioned as he watched the bra go flying into a nearby group of shrubs.

"It seems we have another couple joining us," Carp noted, indicating toward a gap in the clearing.

Two sets of hurried footsteps sounded, soon followed by a frantically jogging Ulquiorra and Grimmjow. The two came to a stop once they infiltrated the clearing to take in what lay before them.

"So _you're_ the ghost!" Grimmjow snapped at Carp in realisation.

"Well yeah," Ulquiorra commented dryly. "Remember what we read last night in the compartment? He's a soul expelled from the Soul Society or something like that."

"Ah…so you two found out _that_ part of my history."

"Indeed," Ulquiorra replied stoically, eyeing him with caution.

"But it's okay," Grimmjow said, "We read about what happened at the academy."

"Oh?" Carp questioned as the surrounding Arrancar looked on in curiosity.

"We both know what you were."

"Aizen's gay lover!"

An awkward silence resounded throughout the clearing, as Arrancar, human and ghost alike ceased what they were doing to look upon the two Espada in strange confusion.

"Well…that was…unexpected." Sun-Sun commented.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Carp?" Grimmjow questioned, "What have you and Aizen been up to during this camp? Gazing into each other's eyes whilst lost in old memories? Romantic moonlit strolls? A private canoe on the lake?"

By now, all questioning and deadpanned expressions had shifted to Grimmjow.

"Ummmm…sorry," said Carp, "You got it wrong, although that was surprisingly poetic. Now, I've had enough of all this messing around."

"Where's Hanri?" Ulquiorra asked, brushing off his and Grimmjow's false assumption, "Off doing more of your dirty work?"

"Actually, I'm right here…"

The attention of the Arrancar and humans was diverted to the camp assistant, as he timidly lurked from somewhere out behind a tree.

"You!" Grimmjow spat, "What was with that display last night on the train?"

"I was simply obeying orders," the camp assistant replied, "Though I can't imagine how you managed to trek your way back through the forest in the time since."

"…It's an interesting story," Grimmjow began.

"And one we don't have time for," added Ulquiorra, silencing him.

"Great. I've lost that gloating streak I was on," Carp groaned in frustration, "Where were we?"

"You were about to dispose of them," Hanri contributed.

"Right," Carp nodded, "Disposal. Let's go."

Once again, beads of glowing light formed in his hand. And once again, he was cut short. This time, the perpetrator was a large, round structure which crashed into the clearing, dragging across the ground and upsetting outlying trees.

"Drat!" came Szayel's voice as the pink-haired Espada extracted himself from the wreckage of the hot air balloon, "Now it needs repairs."

"Well at least we made a dynamic entrance," Aaroniero pointed out, looking every bit the hero with his bobbing heads in the tank as he stood straight with his arms crossed.

"But of course," Szayel concurred as he gaily flicked his hair, "A grand entrance fit for a dazzling stage show…"

"…Are you real?" Zommari blinked at Carp, admiring the ghost's transparency "You look kinda like something I smoked once…I think…but maybe you don't."

"A little help here," came Keigo's voice from somewhere beneath the tangled mess of sheets and woven basket, having gone completely ignored by everyone.

"I can help~" Aaroniero offered.

"Eep! Not you! Hey you're there aren't you Starrk? Can you help me out a bit here?"

Said prima Espada simply looked on at the moving clump of sheet indifferently.

"I'll help you Keigo," Tatsuki said with a rolling of her eyes as she proceeded to aid her classmate out of his predicament.

A shuffling was heard in a nearby bushel of shrubs and the Arrancar quickly readied themselves for possible acts of offense, only to relax slightly when they saw it was Cuulhorne discovering the bra that had been flung at Carp earlier.

"You shouldn't let your guards down," Carp cautioned snidely.

"Careful," Szayel warned, pointing out a concave within the ghost's chest. "It seems as though he's on the way to becoming a Hollow."

Suddenly wary of Carp's impending transformation, the Arrancar prepared themselves.

"That must be what this uneasy atmosphere means," Ulquiorra noted as he observed the rounded intent in the ghost's chest, "In all the time he's spent here, he's slowly becoming a hollow…"

"At any rate, we need to get Tesla back," Halibell said, eyeing the prone form of the fraccion as it was guarded closely by the ghost.

"Without further delays," Carp insisted, gathering raw energy into his hand once again.

The Arrancar braced themselves as the energy shot forth, scattering them in all directions as lasers of pale blue light descended upon them.

"What is this…?" Sun-Sun cursed.

"All part of my plan," Carp responded, "Human…ghost…it doesn't matter. Once I absorb you all, I will have free choice of what form I take."

_So he's using us…_Starrk thought as he fought to evade Carp's perilous onslaught.

Another continuum of light dazzled forth from nearby, almost blinding those in the clearing with a wave of unnatural light.

"Damnit," Szayel muttered, "He's got too much offence."

"I can see foreeeeeveeeeeer," Zommari said as he stared directly into the source of the blinding light like an idiot. "And forever looks like Gin…"

"Huh?"

It was then that it became apparent the new source of energy was not coming from the ghost. Quite the opposite in fact; the ghost had been enveloped by the light and bound by what looked like some sort of kido. The bombardment of white light ceased and into the moonlit clearing stepped the four ghost busters accompanied by none other than Tousen.

"Show no restraint!" Gin ordered and his men bombardened the ghost with their busting weapons once again.

"Drat…" Carp cursed, "I've been paralysed."

Tousen proceeded to take a step forward, complete with Wonderweiss hanging off him and spoke.

"You are taking things too far, Carpasai!" he reasoned.

"Kaname," the ghost cautioned. "I did not think that in all of our associations you had turned on me."

"You're the one who turned on yourself," Tousen countered, "And if it weren't for these ghost busters here, I may not have seen it."

The four ghost busters shied away slightly, waving a hand dismissively or rubbing the back of their neck whilst laughing nervously.

"D'awwww Kaname," said Gin, "You charmer! We're so touched that you'd say that about us, really."

"Shut up."

The crunching of twigs and leaves sounded, before Chizuru appeared behind the ghost busters smiling triumphantly.

But Carp only chuckled. "You think a little light would suppress me?"

He proceeded to stand and cast the beam of kido away, before once again advancing on the gathered Arrancar.

"Huuuh?" Ggio questioned, "How is he able to move after we disabled him?"

"My powers _will _increase tonight," the ghost insisted, "Starting with this Arrancar here!"

He held Tesla up and prepared more beads of energy in his free hand.

"Damnit!" Starrk cursed through clenched teeth as he and the others helplessly looked on at Carp's unfolding scheme. They'd solved the mystery, but nothing was going to plan beyond that.

_It's going to take something ridiculous to turn things around now…_

"Stop right there!" a familiar voice suddenly sounded from somewhere within the trees.

The gathered Arrancar and humans looked over to the source of the command, only to see the last thing they had been expecting. Just beyond the clearing, riding atop the King Cow and armed with a giant spork sat none other than the most spoonliest of Nnoitras.

"…Nnoitra?" Starrk questioned in utter flabbergast.

"He's confronting one of…no…_both _of his fears at once!" a recently set-free Keigo observed in manly tears.

"Indeed! Who would have thought?" Szayel contributed dramatically.

Nnoitra however, was more concerned with other things and was not about to get caught up in the petty niceties of his badass entrance.

"No one…" he breathed, "No one uses my fraccion as their bitch aside from me."

There was a short pause in which Espada and ghost engaged in a silent yet seemingly deadly staring contest, before…

"Charge!" the Spoonspada declared, and at once the Cow King leapt forth and began advancing. But that wasn't all. An entire army of cows consisting of all the livestock from the field stampeded forth from the trees, all at Nnoitra's command.

"…Noitora is a cow master?" Lilynette asked in bewilderment as she observed the stampede before her.

"Well boys," Gin addressed the ghost busters, "What are you waiting for?"

Not about to let the chance slip away, Gin and his three comrades each latched hold of their nearest cow and swiftly clambered aboard as the herd of cows stampeded through the clearing. Nnoitra heroically lead the mooing cavalry in pursuit of the shocked-looking ghost.

"Fire!" Nnoitra declared, as he menacingly thrust the giant spork at Carp.

"Fire!" Gin concurred, leading the ghost busters as they blasted Carp with their assortment of ghost buster guns.

"It buuuuuuuuuurns!" Carp cursed as he was hit by the instruments of paranormal-intended torture.

Reaching out a long limb, Nnoitra pulled his fraccion from Carp's hold and rode to the edge of the clearing, where he watched the ghost busters and the cows do their work.

"This may be our last performance," Szayel said to his men at the other side of the clearing, "Let's make this count."

Together, team Escape Means and the rest of the gathered Arrancar and humans worked to move the enormous hot-air sheet in the direction of the ghost, before entrapping the fiend within it with use of the ghost buster guns and kido.

"I won't let you escape!" Carp threatened from within, before bursting out as he always had. "On this night, the night of the full moon, I will rest my dispute!"

"I believe that is quite enough, Murry."

All Arrancar and humans halted in their tracks and looked over to see none other than The Great Aizen surveying their ghost-fighting shenanigans.

"Aizen-sama!" Yammy (who had also just entered the clearing) stammered. "There's a ghost among us! And I think it's Carp!"

"No shit," the rest of the camp's occupants unanimously mouthed.

"Yes, Yammy," Aizen nodded, "I am very well aware."

"How long have you known, Aizen?" Luppi questioned.

"From the start. No, before the start," Aizen admitted.

"Since the moment he was concieved?" questioned Starrk.

"No, that's just for certain substitute Shinigami."

"As observant as ever, Sosuke," Carp chuckled, "You really haven't changed since those days at the Shinigami academy."

"So you _were_ gay lovers?" Grimmjow questioned.

"No," both Aizen and the ghost repulsed.

"Then what?" questioned Ulquiorra.

Aizen and Carp exchanged a quick glance.

"Well they've come this far," Aizen said, "I believe we owe them an explanation…"

**Next Time: **As things wind to a close, the Arrancar find they have learnt a valuable lesson, and just might be ready to take the steps to cast differences aside and return home.

* * *

**Well…one chapter left, followed by a short epilogue. Thanks to all who've stuck around thus far and stay tuned for the debatably tear-jerking finale!**


	14. The Only Resolution

**Thanks for all the great reviews for last chapter! This is the final chapter now. It's a bit short, but an epilogue is on the way as well. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: The Only Resolution**

The Arrancar and humans looked on in anticipation in the otherwise silence of their clearing as Carp and Aizen slowly began their tale.

"It was about one hundred years ago," Carp started, "Back when I was known as Murry Mitchelson…My twin brother Larry and I built this campsite with our own two hands. Being three and a half minutes my senior, my brother took charge as the apparent leader of this camp. But really, the two of us shared equal authority. It's just that when the camp needed a single representative, he stepped in as a figurehead."

"Hmmm…" Grimmjow mused, "So if you both had authority, why'd you kill him?"

"I did not kill my brother," Carp maintained.

"Then what happened?" Halibell asked, "He didn't suddenly die on his own now, did he?"

Carp sighed, "No. Someone else killed him. After an unfortunate twist of events, various evidence pointed towards me—as far as the outside public was concerned, it was only Larry who had complete control of the campsite as opposed to the two of us having equal power, and the judges, thinking they were being ever so deductive, decided that I envied the complete power that my brother supposedly had. Hence, they thought I grew jealous and killed him. My brother's killer more or less had me framed and sent to prison, where I soon wasted away myself."

"Well that sucks," Nnoitra noted.

"From there, my soul ascended to the Soul Society," Carp lamented, "I showed promising spiritual energy and was accepted into the Shinigami Academy. That is where I met Aizen, who at the time was a lieutenant, and often frequented the academy to tutor."

"So you weren't gay," Grimmjow said with a nod.

"Merely acquaintances," Aizen contributed.

"Aizen would remember some of my exploits back at the academy," said Carp.

Aizen laughed, "You and all of your naturalistic antics…you haven't changed at all, Murry."

The ghost laughed, "Well, it _was_ what got me in trouble that time."

"What happened?" Lilynette questioned.

"He decided to go streaking through Seireitei," Aizen explained with a nostalgic grin.

"And they kicked up a stink over it," said Carp, "As a result, I chose to be exiled here, to the human world. The gigai is only an early model, and so I can only wear it for a number of hours at a time. I shed it during the night hours, and take on this true form."

He lifted his arm and held it out in the moonlight, observing how it was indeed transparent.

"What happened when you came back here?" Mila-Rose questioned him.

"I returned to Camp Happy Clap, though it was in a different state to what I left it," Carp replied. "But still, it was like my past had come back to haunt me. Everything was so familiar even though another family had bought the place. I stayed in hiding for a number of years before I met Hanri, part of the family who had succeeded the land. He could see me even when I was a ghost, and he sympathised with my story. He's heard it before and had always thought I was innocent. He wanted to help me carry out Larry's legacy, to keep the camp going."

"So you're bound to each other," remarked Gin.

Hanri nodded.

"I took on the name 'Carp' because I had always admired the fish…" Carp continued.

"That's why?" Luppi questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"I've always been a naturalist," Carp said, "And I always loved fishing and swimming. I always wished to swim up the waterfall like a carp, but never could. However, once I became a ghost I gained my levitating abilities and therefore could swim up all waterfalls t my heart's content, just like a carp. I suppose that's why I chose to name myself Carp as well…"

"That's weird," Apache said flatly.

Carp ignored her. "I didn't want people knowing that I'm a ghost, so I abducted all who found out. But they're safe and can be set free. Hanri knows how to go about it."

"They're safe," Hanri affirmed, "We can set them free when we wish, they're in the Banana Carp Skull rocks."

"The Banana Fish Monster!" Zommari said excitedly.

"Indeed," said Carp, "There are etchings of the symbol throughout the site, though for most, only the enlightened may see them."

"Wait…" Nnoitra said as he paused his doting on Tesla, "What if we're all usually high, and drugs are what take us back to reality? What if Zommari's the only sober one?"

"I wouldn't worry about that too much," Tatsuki commented.

"Anyway," Carp continued, "About you lot…"

"I believe the purpose of this camp has been fulfilled," Aizen said.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Carp questioned.

"By working together…from researching the camp's history, to ghost busting, to making observations or by just playing along with whatever came… my Arrancar were able to solve this mystery piece by piece," he looked over to the group, "I'm very proud of you all for using teamwork. You have done well."

He then turned to Carp.

"What you underestimate, Murry, is their power."

"Power?" Carp stammered, "But they've got none! They've been sealed within gigais to suppress their Arrancar powers, haven't they?"

Aizen shook his head. "I wasn't referring to Arrancar power."

"Then…"

"It was through the power of their friendship."

Once again, a deadpanned expression was adopted by the camp's various attendees.

"…Seriously?" Lilynette questioned.

"…Their friendship?" questioned Carp.

Aizen nodded. "You noticed, didn't you? The true purpose of this camp."

"So that they would work together to discover the truth about me," Carp noted, more to himself than to anyone else.

"Precisely," Aizen said with a smile. "Besides Murry, you're wearing out. Don't want to go becoming a hollow now, do we? You might end up like one of them," he indicated to the group of Arrancar.

Carp sighed. "I guess you're right. But where do I go from here, now that they've got me all figured out? I think I've run the camp long enough…"

"The Soul Society will forgive you if you ask them to," Aizen assured him, "You'll be more welcome back than I would, at least."

"You think so?" Carp asked cautiously.

"I'm sure of it," Aizen responded, "As for you being framed for the murder, I'm sure we'll find a way to clear your name once and for all."

"Okay then," Carp said, scanning his gaze across the clearing before his eyes landed on Hanri.

"You know what to do," he said to his assistant, "Don't you?"

"Of course," Hanri said with a nod.

"Very well then," Carp said with a nod, "I am ready, Aizen."

Aizen withdrew his Zanpakto and proceeded to perform a conso on the ghost.

"Thank you, everyone," Murry said as he faded into nothing but a mist of spiritual particles. A single sleek black butterfly ascended into the night, transferring Murry's soul back to the realm of the Soul Society.

Silently, the group of Arrancar, ex-Shinigami and humans watched as the butterfly slowly faded in the moonlight. Finally, Aizen spoke.

"As for those that have gone missing over the years…you know what must be done, right Hanri?"

Hanri gave a silent, sombre nod.

"We have them," he said, "They're in the forest. I'll get them tomorrow."

Slowly, the Arrancar wandered back towards the deserted campsite, talking amongst one another. Each of them listened in interest as Nnoitra told of his adventures in rounding up cows and cutlery.

"Understandably, I was scared at first," he said, "But I knew that Tesla needed me and suddenly I wasn't afraid! And then they weren't so bad after all. In fact, I even named this one Suzie."

He indicated to a cow that was treading along beside him.

"That's lovely, Nnoitra," Halibell said, "It's great to know you made some friends."

"We then raided the kitchens together," Nnoitra continued relaying his tales, "That's where I found this huge spork."

He waved it around in the air for emphasis.

"I was wondering where you'd gotten that from," said Barrigan.

As the Arrancar re-entered the campsite together, Aizen smiled to himself. The camp had been more successful than he ever would have imagined.

* * *

The day was young, though their Great Leader was a jovial as ever.

"Congratulations everyone!" Aizen's obnoxious voice resounded throughout the camp grounds through the infamous megaphone as the sun rose, "For officially completing Camp Happy Clap! Now as you leave your tents, you'll find surprises waiting for you!"

As Grimmjow clumsily tumbled out of his delapitated tent, the structure finally gave way and collapsed atop a rather disgruntled Szayel. Getting to his feet, he located the 'surprise' The Great Aizen was talking about.

"You have _got _to be kidding me…"

On a table in the middle of the campsite sat a delivery of various t-shirts which were white in colour and detailed a group of stick-figures standing in a line hand in hand. A colourful text that boasted 'I graduated Camp Happy Clap' splashed across the top of each shirt. This cheesy gesture was made all the cheesier by the fact that Aizen had managed to photoshop each Espada and Arrancar's head onto each of the stick figures.

"Now I want you all wearing them on the train home," Aizen ordered, "Let's show the Exequias and numerous just how far we've come upon arriving home."

"Heck no I'm not wearing this!" Grimmjow snapped.

Nearby, Hanri was kindly giving his well-wishes and a famous packed lunch to all Arrancar he came by.

"Thanks for the food!" Aaroniero said as the heads in his tank bobbed excitedly.

"No problem," Hanri grinned, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some people to set free…"

The camp was alive with the Arrancar mingling, talking and laughing amongst themselves. Though all the while, Aizen was trying to explain to Nnoitra that they couldn't take Suzie the cow back to Las Noches with them.

"But pleeeeeease, Aizen," Nnoitra begged.

Aizen sighed. "It's brilliant that you've gotten over your fear Nnoitra, though I never would have anticipated it would be to this extent. Unfortunately, we are unable to accommodate for Suzie back in Las Noches."

"I'll keep her in my quarters! She can live with me," Nnoitra compromised.

Aizen sighed and continued his explanation of how having a cow in Las Noches simply wouldn't work.

After cleaning up the campsite and packing away (the job was cut down by bout half, seeing as Zommari was so kind as to go around and smoke up all the tents), the Arrancar bade their farewells to the humans and made their way to the train station.

They arrived at the station where the Happy Express awaited just as they'd left it, and climbed aboard. Mixing around in different compartments, they watched out the windows as Camp Happy Clap lay before them.

"It feels like so long ago that we arrived here," Sun-Sun noted.

"A lot has happened," Tesla said.

"We attempted to harness an escape plan…" Szayel said.

"We figured out a mystery," said Lilynette.

"We busted a ghost," said Ggio.

"We pretended to be women," Luppi said, fondly remembering is impressive assets.

"We got lost in the forest," said Ulquiorra.

"We found the banana fish monster," said Zommari.

"We overcame our fears," said Nnoitra.

"And you unlocked the true power of your friendship," Aizen added, popping up out of nowhere.

The Arrancar starred at him and backed away slowly as he strummed a chord on his guitar.

A chugging sound announced the train's impending departure as it began to advance from the platform and leave Camp Happy-Clap behind. Slowly, the camp disappeared beyond the horizon. The trip home was filled with much excited chatter amongst themselves. Aizen smiled to himself. Everyone was getting along, and that was the main thing. All was just as planned.

As the hours went by, the Arrancar continued to socialise and recount their enjoyable experiences at camp. When Tousen came by with the food trolley, it was filled with food they'd actually enjoy rather than what they'd been fed on the way to the camp.

Starrk leaned against the train window, watching as familiar terrain began to appear around them. And then the walls of Las Noches appeared on the horizon, fully repaired and welcoming them home.

It was true that they would still be misbehaving and fighting amongst themselves in the future. But surviving the madness of Camp Happy Clap and sharing the experience of their Great Leader's crazy exploits had created an unspoken bond of simple understanding between the lot of them. And that wasn't something that would be leaving them any time soon.

* * *

**And that's the final chapter~ Thankyou to all those who've stuck with this story so long, haha. I hope to tie up most of the remaining loose ends in a short epilogue I'll try to have out in about a week :)**


	15. Epilogue

**Here is the final part! Big thank you to all of you who've read this story the entire way through. I can't believe I've actually finished it, hahaha xD Well it's about time.**

* * *

**Epilogue - Aizen is an Idiot  
**

Life after Camp Happy Clap went on as it always had. The Arrancar would muck around in the hallways of the repaired Las Noches and be brought under control by Aizen's spontaneous voice as it sprung forth from apparently nowhere. It seemed he had taken the train's intercom and installed it in Las Noches. It had been the darnest thing—the Arrancar had departed the train thinking they'd be free of the obnoxious device forever, only to find out (quite early the following morning) that during the reparations, Aizen had had one installed. And though the weeks went by, it never got old for him. From his favourite songs, to bathrooms announcements, to embarrassing any individual Arrancar by professing how much he loved them. Not to mention his uncanny knack to know where anyone and everyone happened to be. No one was safe.

Szayel had tried to counter this. Together, he and Aaroniero joined to create an 'Unstalkify Aizen' means. However, even with the craziest of the scientist's inventions, neither could combat the might of Aizen's stalkerness. Zommari did not partake in these shenanigans. After smoking all the linen in Las Noches, Espada seven had departed on an epic journey in search of the fabled Banana Fish Monster. So far, no preparations have been considered in order to find him.

As it turned out, Nnoitra had somehow managed to defy all logic by smuggling his favourite cow, Suzie back from Camp Happy Clap with him. He had hidden her in his quarters and even gone as far as to making a hasty trip to the human world in order to dig up a mound of turf for her. However, there were some occasions in the deep night when the cow would somehow manage to make its way into the roof, from where it would make creepy moo-ing noises and frighten Yammy. Aizen pretended not to notice these events, but most of the Arrancar figured he probably knew Nnoitra had taken Suzie home since before both Espada and cow were even conceived.

Following the camp, Barrigan, Starrk, Lilynette, Halibell and her fraccion had not changed in the slightest, having found most of the experience to be a bizarre waste of time. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra concurred with this belief for the most part, but had to admit they'd found the mystery of it all adventurous.

Gin, Ggio and Luppi continued to meet at regular intervals. It seemed the two had enjoyed with the Shinigami Men's Association, and had filed a request to Aizen. As such, every Wednesday became 'dress like a woman' day. Cuulhorne approved of this greatly, though insisted he made the most beautiful woman. Though the statement was very highly debatable.

It was around this time Tousen realised that for the past few chapters, poor Wonderweiss had been forgotten all together and was probably still back at Camp Happy Clap somewhere.

And indeed he was.

A few weeks later, the Shinigami Men's Association returned to the camp, only to find Grimmjow's fated Camp Happy Clap shirt. It was the subject of much confusion for a number of months, until Mayuri decided he needed to confiscate it for 'experiments'.

Camp Happy Clap prospered once again. Hanri took over complete ownership and freed the poor souls who'd been captured in the ghost's rampant shenanigans. The forgotten Wonderweiss helped him in such tasks and became his apprentice. The two thus began their great friendship of unbreakable bonds. The campsite became a popular spot for school groups and hollows alike.

As for Carp/Murry, he returned to the Soul Society as though he'd never left. He formed a bond with the Koi fish in Ukitake's pond and together with the fish, worked to support human-fish relations. Even his spokesperson was a fish. However, only Murry could understand what the fish was saying and had to translate for it, thus completely defeating the purpose of having a spokesperson in the first place. This resulted in a very interesting encounter when Yamamoto took interest in it and the captains were all hurriedly gathered for what they thought was an emergency but ended up being some wacko talking to a fish.

…

However, one evening as Aizen was singing a song he was making up on the spot through the intercom, he noticed a disturbance coming from somewhere in the men's bathroom. Following it with his monitor, he saw that not only was there a 'bala me' sign on Yammy's back (in Gin's quirky handwriting, might I add), but also on the walls of every shower which was currently in use. The door to the bathroom swung open and a bored-looking Grimmjow strolled in, his lethargic composure instantly switching to one of excitement and mischief upon sighting the signs. Aizen was fully anticipating the chaos that ensued.

He sighed dramatically through the intercom, though the sound probably came out as barely a whisper over the current ruckus that was now announcing itself over the lands of Hueco Mundo. "Nothing's changed at all…"

**The End.**

* * *

**And there you have it. A year and a half and this story has finally finished xD Again, a big thankyou to everyon who read, faved, alerted reviewed and what not. Even when this story hadn't been updated in months at some points, thankyou for sticking with it xD**

**I have a little something else planned as well, though not really in much relation to this story. It will still be stupid and involve Aizen and the Espada though. It will only be around five chapters long or so and should be coming out in a few months. Be sure to look out for it! Thanks everyone!**

**~Kris**


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